[Archived] Thick Footballers

[cletus]

Listening to an interview with Neil 'Razor' Ruddock on Virgin radio this morning, he commented on ex-roverite Jason McAteer being "the thickest footballer i`ve ever known".

When asked by Christian O`Connel (the dj bloke) to give an example, he went on to tell a story of when they were at Liverpool & in a hotel before an away game at Villa. Razor said McAteer was busy filling in a creditcard application form....after putting his name, address & occupation (pro footballer) he asked Razor if he should put "right back" or "midfielder" as he`d played both roles recently. Razor asked "why? what does the question say?"

McAteer said "well it`s asking for 'position in company?'

[Ricky]

Another McAteer one was again about his time at Liverpool. In the club canteen he was asked to pass the ketchup, to which he replied "Red or Brown".

He also shouted "One Hundred and Eiighty!!!!" accross a crowded bar to Jimmy White!!!

[The Fly]

He was once asked how many slices he wanted his pizza cut into, 4 or 8, and he answered: "Cut it into 4, I don't think I'm hungry enough for 8".!!

[LeftWinger]

These are just being made up now!

[Ricky]

Pretty sure they are all true

A quote from Mcateer

"From now on, I want to be known as Captain Sensible. I'm known for being a fool and they called me Trigger. I once bought a pizza and was asked if I wanted it sliced into four or eight. I said just four because I couldn't manage eight slices!"

[Moppy]

Dont know how true this one is but...

The Irish team on a plane to ? and Keane and JM start having a war of words. Keane says to JM "lets take this outside then". JM trys to open the plane door in mid flight.

[LeftWinger]

I've always thought Rio Ferdinand was a bit thick. A United season ticket holder told me that before one match - the teams were lined up ready for kick off - and the teams had to change ends. All the players swapped ends apart from Rio who took up position next to the oppositions centre halves

[3rdpillar]

Gary Neville showing a TV crew round the kitchen his home (quite beautiful it was too) said he didn't know how to use any of the appliences.

Wouldn't it be easier to list the "bright" footballers.

[pleasure]

MARTIN KEOWN......

1. he was approached by a fan and his girlfriend. they asked- "can we please have a photo ?." keown then grabbed the camera and then photographed the couple !

2. he was once asked to sign a football. he wrote on a black panel, with a black marker pen !

[LeftWinger]

Also remember when Kurt Nogan was at Burnley and he wouldn't sign a new contract. He was interviewed on Radio Lancashire about the reasons why and he said it was due to money - he wasn't sure on the exact percentage but he wanted a 100% pay-rise. He then revealed that he was on £750pw - and wanted £1000pw.

[yoda]

If its thick you want, watch the Rooney interview after last night MU game, limited vocabulary or what

[Radagast]

I'd have nominated Rio. Looking at that glaikit expression constantly smudged across his face you really feel sorry for the puffed-out rabbit inside his head desperately clutching at the controls.

[gumboots]

We all imagine that it's better abroad because the guys can usually speak English as well as their own language so we think they must have brains but it's not true. My daughter who lives in Munich said the most embarrassing interview she's ever seen on tv was Lucas Podolski and, I think, Schweinsteiger. She reckons she as a native English speaker speaks better German than either of them do.

[Rovermatt]

If its thick you want, watch the Rooney interview after last night MU game, limited vocabulary or what

Rooney's interviews are excruciating. For such a snarling, aggressive and 'vocal' player he comes across as both timid and downright terrified in interviews. Still his people skills aren't the reason United pay hism the big bucks.

Edited October 18, 2006 by Rovermatt

[LeftWinger]

I think the next step is to create the thickest football XI. So far we've got McAteer, Ferdinand and Rooney as strong contenders.

[FourLaneBlue]

He also shouted "One Hundred and Eiighty!!!!" accross a crowded bar to Jimmy White!!!

Always thought Barry Ferguson was as thick as pig droppings.

[Ozz]

I'd have nominated Rio. Looking at that glaikit expression constantly smudged across his face you really feel sorry for the puffed-out rabbit inside his head desperately clutching at the controls.

Very good!

[SouthAussieRover]

I reckon it would be easier to name an intelligent footballer.

Edited October 18, 2006 by SouthAussieRover

[Napoleon]

I reckon it would be easier to name an intelligent footballer.

Nigel Reo Coker seems a very articulate and considerate guy when being interviewed.

I have always thought that Darren Purse has one of the most gormless looking faces around, but Rio Ferdinand does look and come across as a real idiot.

As for McAteer, this is from an interview I found:

Your nickname is Trigger. Small Talk's always wondered whether the famous McAteer pizza story is urban myth or fact?

It is true mate, yeah. They asked if I wanted a whole pizza cut into four or eight and I said four because I'd never eat all of it.

You come across as pretty intelligent for a footballer, though...

In football, everyone gets an image and I always found that by having this slightly dim-witted one I could get away with murder. It also helped me play more matches.

Edited October 18, 2006 by Napoleon

[LeftWinger]

I reckon it would be easier to name an intelligent footballer.

Surely it'd be harder!

[Rovermatt]

Domestically I can think of Graeme Le Saux, Niall Quinn, Casey Keller, Tony Adams (no seriously), Gavin Peacock, Steve McManaman, Iain Dowie...

Any others?

[Moppy]

Domestically I can think of Graeme Le Saux, Niall Quinn, Casey Keller, Tony Adams (no seriously), Gavin Peacock, Steve McManaman, Iain Dowie...

Any others?

Lampard, Ripley

[Kai]

Another McAteer one was again about his time at Liverpool. In the club canteen he was asked to pass the ketchup, to which he replied "Red or Brown".

He also shouted "One Hundred and Eiighty!!!!" accross a crowded bar to Jimmy White!!!

I think the actual thing was someone asked JM to pass over the red sauce - to which he asked, "Which one, red or brown?"

I think Iain Dowie despite him looking otherwise actually has a degree relating to rocket science...

And I think I remember somone saying that Slaven Bilic has a law degree. It's also been mentioned that Dennis Bergkamp was always taught to study first, football later.

Lampard, Ripley

That's funny, I've heard that Lampard was as thick as two short planks...

Did anyone read that article by Simon Jordan last season (in his column for a newspaper) where he goes on to talk about thick footballers... like one who called up their assistant because his head was getting wet - it turned out he was sleeping next to an open window and it was raining!

Edit: found it! http://football.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/...1651654,00.html

Edited October 18, 2006 by Kai

[SouthAussieRover]

Surely it'd be harder!

Quoting Eddie,that would be a mute point.

[Ronin]

Did anyone read that article by Simon Jordan last season (in his column for a newspaper) where he goes on to talk about thick footballers... like one who called up their assistant because his head was getting wet - it turned out he was sleeping next to an open window and it was raining!

Edit: found it! http://football.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/...1651654,00.html

I do like Simon Jordan's articles in the Guardian. Definitely doesn't pull any punches and says things straight to the point. I also enjoy his comments whenever he mentions Big Club