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[Archived] Congratulations To Newcastle United

FourLaneBlue

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tony gale's mic World Cup

tony gale's mic

Posted
Posted
Oh come on - nobody knows how Shearer would have done at Rovers - for starters he would have had an entirely different squad - and the opportunity to buy in his own players. He would also have had more opportunity to put together his own back room staff.

Also - lets not forget - the only way I think Shearer would have accepted the Rovers job would have been with far bigger transfer kitty than Ince had - whether he would have made good use of it - who know's, as he never had that opportunity at Newcastle.

You can't ignore the commercial spin offs that Shearer would have brought - and just maybe a bigger name to attract players of bigger standing than Keith Andrews (no offence to Keith, who has done an ok job).

Completely disagree with this and can't believe some people are still claiming Shearer was in any way a good option at the time.

Granted noone knows for sure how he would have done, but considering he got half the points per game as Joe Kinnear did in his time at Newcastle it doesn't look great. Shearer would have brought next to no commercial spin off. Tell me where would this untold millions come from having him as manager? Paul Ince was almost as big a name as Alan Shearer - he played for two of the biggest clubs in Europe and had Italian connections that Shearer didn't have. The "name" of your manager means very little - players look at how good the manager is and how good the club is.

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1864roverite World Cup

1864roverite

Posted
Posted

There aare rumours that ashley is taking the £100m cash offer because United are about to announce that they are in debt to the tune of around £245m, that is from a very close friend of mine from Tyneside. That is the depth of problems within the club, everyone taking and noone giving.

The total debt includes their holding amongst the Rugby club (they own land used by them), the debts on the training facility, the debt against NUFC assets and the creditors owed. Added to that is the cost of income from their relegation and predicted losses of around £60m for this season alone and it emphasises just how much trouble they could find themselves in.

I wonder if the rumoured £75m bid from fat Freddie Shepherd is a genuine one ? If so he will have made a killing out of the club having sold it to Ashley and then gets his grubby hands back on it for a quick sale/purhcase at a low cost.

Whatever happens, 155 staff are already jobless. Players on big money contracts are bleeding the club dry of every bit of income, hospitality at the club is on offer because the corporate side is collapsing and who knows, maybe Shearers bar is the next to collapse at the ground ?

They really could be Leeds mkII :rolleyes:

The Prof. Uefa Europa League

The Prof.

Posted
Posted
That Craig fella has just read out a statement on Sky Sports News apparently handed to him by NUFC officials.

Statement says that the club are for sale for £100m, and if anyone is interested they can email the club at admin@nufc.co.uk.

They are an absolute joke.

Ha Ha Ha hahahahhhaaah hahahahahahahahahahah Haahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Hahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahha haaaahahahahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

hahahahhahahahahahhhhhaaaahahahahahahahah :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhhaaaaahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

hahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahah hhaaa

Why dont their so called magnificent fans buy it??

50,000 fans put 5k in each - £250,000,000 (Gives them money to buy, pay off say £100m of the debts, and then enough to continue running the clubs)

Suggest it - put the season tickets up to £5,000! hahahahahahah ahaahhahhaahahahahahahah on hahahaha no - off again hahahahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahah

QUOTE (DE4life @ Jun 9 2009, 15:14 )

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/c...icle6458160.ece

HHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

B-I-G ClHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

I've bid £1.01! hahahahahahhHAHAHHHAAAAAHahahahaha Anyone beat that? HAHaHahhahahahahahahahahahah

Stuart World Cup

Stuart

Posted
Posted
Ha Ha Ha hahahahhhaaah hahahahahahahahahahah Haahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Hahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahha haaaahahahahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

hahahahhahahahahahhhhhaaaahahahahahahahah :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhhaaaaahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

hahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahah hhaaa

Suggest it - put the season tickets up to £5,000! hahahahahahah ahaahhahhaahahahahahahah on hahahaha no - off again hahahahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahah

QUOTE (DE4life @ Jun 9 2009, 15:14 )

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/c...icle6458160.ece

HHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

B-I-G ClHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

I've bid £1.01! hahahahahahhHAHAHHHAAAAAHahahahaha Anyone beat that? HAHaHahhahahahahahahahahahah

Bet you'll not be laughing if they accept and saddle you with their debt. Yours might just be the best offer they get! :blink:

The Prof. Uefa Europa League

The Prof.

Posted
Posted
Bet you'll not be laughing if they accept and saddle you with their debt. Yours might just be the best offer they get! :blink:

Season tickets up to £5,000 x 50,000 ney 100000 fans and I'll clear the debt in one go, pay myself a cool £1m and bring them right back up! :rover:

Worth a look! http://www.toontastic.net/board/index.php?...24598&st=40

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2009/ju...l-address-jokes

Seems like everyone in the countries put in a bid - Doh!

An absolute must from the Guardian- of all papers!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/gallery...cture=337933449

Anti-Dingle-Brigade Champions League

Anti-Dingle-Brigade

Posted
Posted

I'm busy so it's nowhere near as witty as I intended but....

Dear Mike,

Today, whilst dividing my millions into separate bank accounts for my personal amusement, I chanced upon a news report on the BBC website informing the public of the potential sale of your football club. Being an avid football fan I could not resist the lure of casting my hat into the ring and applying to become the owner of the world famous Newcastle-Upon-Lyme United. As I understand it, you have come upon minor financial difficulties and wish to offload Newcastle-Upon-Lyme United for the sum of a mere £100,000,000. Normally, this amount would be immediately payable in significant instalments, but due to a slightly unwise investment in Setanta Sports shares, my money is tied up for now. However, I do have an offer to present to you.

You will understandably wish to see my CV and credentials, so I have given a brief summary of my achievements thus far for your satisfaction, you can rest assured Newcastle-Upon-Lyme United will be in the safest of hands. My full CV is being typed up by my PA and publicist, Max, as we speak.

Previous jobs:

Manager (10 years): Blackburn Rovers.

In my 10 year tenure I raised the value of Blackburn Rovers from £32m to over £200m whilst signing global superstars and turning the Lancashire outfit into a world-dominant superteam. My incredible journey gave me vital stadium management, man management and financial management skills which cumulated in Blackburn Rovers becoming the world superpower they are today.*

Considering the financial concerns at Newcastle, I will not be willing to pay the full £100,000,000 amount requested, but I feel that I can offer you a substantial amount which will be to the satisfaction of all parties.

I would like to submit my official bid for Newcastle-Under-Lyme United; £8.48, three Mars bars, 4 Pot Noodle pots**, one empty Lynx spray can and one slightly used tissue. I understand that my offer may seem a little south of what you were expecting, but if you are really having concerns, I will gladly include ten cans of magic beans*** which I feel will surely secure the deal.

I look forward to hearing from you, and hope our business is concluded with haste as I am eager to utilise my many Staffordshire penthouse suites and guide the famous Newcastle side to greatness.

Yours sincerely,

NAME

EMAIL

*Football Manager 2008 only.

** Noodles not included. Sachet will be included.

*** Magic beans may not perform magic.

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
Anti Euro Smiths Fan Premier League

Anti Euro Smiths Fan

Posted
Posted

What a shambles this club is - currently managerless and in limbo, with reports today that players are threatening to demand transfers unless Alan Shearer is appointed as manager soon.

According to a report in today's Guardian at the link below there's now a growing mood of militancy from players at the club.

Link: Mike Ashley facing a growing revolt

And Newcastle were duped by this bloke....

article-1192700-0550CD7F000005DC-349_468x324.jpg

The chap above is 'Rick Parkinson', who was pictured under Tyne Bridge last month announcing his intention to buy Newcastle. Parkinson claimed that he was worth more than £250m after making his fortune in textiles and offshore investments.

Parkinson said that his takeover package for Newcastle was worth £150m - consisting of a £90m bid, with a further £30m going on new transfers and an additional £30m going into the restructuring of the club.

It turns out that Mr Parkinson is actually a Sunderland fan who doesn't have two pennies to rub together and was just having a laugh - but he still managed to dupe gullible Newcastle officials who believed his story. This happened after Newcastle invited offers from people to buy the club on their official website.

A statement on the club's website in June said: "The board of Newcastle United can confirm that the club is for sale at the price of £100million. Interested parties should contact Newcastle United at admin@nufc.co.uk (or Keith Harris at Seymour Pierce) for further details."

Didn't Newcastle realise that they would be inviting joke offers and ridicule from people after putting that statement on their website?

Isn't it time for Newcastle United to change their name to Fred Karno's Circus.....

thenodrog World Cup

thenodrog

Posted
Posted
....it could only happen in.........Newcasle :lol:

really roverite? Well to varying degrees of conning how about Michael Knighton? Dan Williams? Ray Ingleby? George Reynolds? Shinawatra? Eggman? Guydamak? etc

EwoodGlory Uefa Europa League

EwoodGlory

Posted
Posted

There are reports all over the media that the Malaysian group made a second visit to the Newcastle training ground yesterday by Helicopter, unfortunately the only Helicopter that went near the training ground yesterday was the Police one.

2+2=5 :lol:

Ritchie Premier League

Ritchie

Posted
Posted
There are reports all over the media that the Malaysian group made a second visit to the Newcastle training ground yesterday by Helicopter, unfortunately the only Helicopter that went near the training ground yesterday was the Police one.

2+2=5 :lol:

That club deserves every bit of ridicule it receives. A bloody shambles.

mellison24 Champions League

mellison24

Posted
Posted
That club deserves every bit of ridicule it receives. A bloody shambles.

Too right. Even more so than Burnley. Ideally it would be ManSh*tty and the Spuds to follow them next year!! My god that sounds good doesn't it? ManC, Spurs and Burnley all down.....*dreams*

thenodrog World Cup

thenodrog

Posted
Posted

Likelong Sunderland fan with a clowns name Charlie Chawke is lining up to take NUFC off Ashleys hands now! :lol:

You really couldn't make it up could you?

The barcodes must be queing up to jump off the Tyne bridge! :lol:

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