January Review

[bob fleming]

Regular viewers will recall that Decembers review came with a free picture of a zebra. What at first appeared to be a harmless kind hearted New Year’s gesture on my part has turned around and bit me on the backside. The moderators were inundated with literally thousands, well four, complaints.

What has this web site come to when you can’t even post a picture of a zebra without people running off and reporting me to the moderators? Although I've never seen a zebra in real life I have seen them a couple of times on tinternet and seen them on the tele. I have plenty more pictures of zebras and will keep posting them on here from time to time.

It is all about zebra pictures and opinions after all. Isn’t it?

What the hell am I on about? Happy New Yea… Sod that, that was a month ago. Welcome back to the first review of 2007.

January 01 2007. Wigin Athletic 0 Blackburn Rovers 3.

Déjà vu? Not only that but it’s almost as though this has happened before when we beat Wigin 3-0 away two years ago (31st December 2005).

Bang, off we go. “Rampant Rovers Run Rigan Ragged”, could have been the headline in the Beijing Evening Telegraph but as we all know that paper is now run by people who don’t like Blackburn Rovers. So they ignored it.

We were on a roll now, The Artist crossed and just as in the corresponding fixture at Ewood, “Big” Emile Heskey opened the scoring. Only this time he put through his own net, what a good bloke.

Second half and Sir Matthew Derbyshire of Ewood scored his first Premiership goal, side footing home an Artist header from a Volvo estate away. Benni Mac sealed the win on 75 mins with our second successful penalty of the season after one of the hapless Wigin defenders had blocked his shot with his arms.

Déjà vu? Not only that but it’s almost as though this has happened before when we beat Wigin 3-0 away two years ago (31st December 2005).

All of a sudden the mighty blue and white footballing machine was up to 11th in the league. That was three wins on the bounce or four wins out of five, go with whatever makes you feel warmer inside. Either way we were now top of the bottom half. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Ferguson.

January 04 2007. This was of course transfer window month. All manner of rumours were doing the rounds.

Birmingham City decided to make the month drag by slapping a £2m price tag on ex-Rover David “Dunny” Dunn. Spurs were in for Pedersen, Man U were in for Bentley, we were in for Rob Earnshaw, that Ukranian Russian fella and Stephen Warlock.

Jnauray 07 2007. Everton 1 Rovers 4

Brad, Oooijer, Todd, Jonny Slippers, McHeavily, The Artist, Dave Bentley, Th’Axe, Tugay, Sir Matthew Derbyshire of Ewood, Pauly Gally. Half a reserve team?

Getting a bit annoying now isn’t it? Just when you get ready for a good moan, just when you think results are starting to turn the wrong way and we’ve on a downward spiral this goes and happens. We’ve won six out of seven. Darn it. Whatever happened to the good old days when you could stand on the Blackburn End encloser and moan like bloody hell for 90 minutes? Let’s be honest we’re not a bad team. In fact we’re a bloody good team at times.

Sir Matthew opened the scoring, poking home from inches out, The Artist scored a belter of a free kick, Gally scored a good ‘un with some neat control and then Benni “is there a clause?” Mac added a 4th at the death. Really there was no need Benni. Remember some of us have to work with a load of Liverpudlians. What have we got in common, what have we got to talk about when the draw is on other than the fact our reserves beat “The Peoples Club” 4-1 and The Pool were already knocked out by Le Arse?

Oh well. Whatever, Nevermind. Despite Hughes’ plans, we were through. You can’t blame him for resting players with our schedule. I bet he’s delighted.

David Moyes managed to give us no credit what so ever. Blaming his goalkeeper, Tim “Please don’t use that word again” Howard and the FA Cups light balls that were being used this season.

David Moyes: Controversial Balls

January 08 2007. The draw for the fourth round of the FA Cup. Blah, blah, blah. Number Twenty Four. Queens Park Rangers or Luton Town. Will Play. Number Thirty. Blackburn Rovers. Blah, blah, blah/ And that concludes the draw for the fourth round proper. Ties will be played on the weekend of January 27.

January 09 2007. Rovers announce that the home game against Leverkusen will be free for season ticket holders £1 on for kids and that it’ll kick off at 6.00pm! Now that’s a good deal but isn’t ideal or very convenient for some of us.

Honestly though what do people expect? It’s a European competition, there’s nothing ideal or convenient about it. All the away games to date have been miles away, in that there Europe. People have had to get on planes and trains for crying out loud.

Anyway, I have the following suggestions for UEFA, I know that Platini reads this so there’s no excuses:

1. All matches involving Blackburn Rovers to kick off on a Saturday at 3.00pm, to be shown live on Eurosport (who will pay BRFC £1million for the privilege). If a Premier League fixture has been scheduled for that date then the match is to be rewarded to Rovers and the score recorded as 5-0.

2. Home matches to be played at Ewood Park, Blackburn. Away matches to be played at The Amsterdam Arena, Amsterdam or The Anchor Ground, Darwen. This will be dependent on what Rovers fans “have got on” that week. (Free travel and accommodation to be provided by UEFA for both venues).

January 12 2007. Bolton Wanderererers enter the race to sign David “Dunny” Dunn and his is reported to have had a medical at the Springbok. A “pay as you play deal” was mooted.

Reports that cash strapped Rovers millionaire Chairman John Williams was hurriedly putting together a “pie when you’ve played” deal were made up.

January 13 2007. Rovers 0 Arsenal 2.

This lot were on a bit of a roll, beating Liverpool at Anfield twice the previous week scoring nine times in the process they then beat Watford but then everyone beats Watford.

Our chances of getting something from the game improved when Gilberto was sent off for kicking Roberto de Savage. This was something that the assembled press and media clearly couldn’t forgive Savage for. Of course the sending off made little difference. Toure with a header and a good goal from henry which will be shown on television from heron in until the end of time (we’ve scored better this season by the way, you’ll just never see them again).

Fortunately we don’t have to play Le Arse again this season.

January 15 2007. Bad news. Steven Reid is out for 6-9 months after doing his cruciate in training. Terrible luck for the fella.

January 17 2007. After Bolton completed a successful medical and agreed a fee with Birmingham and Steve “I’m not an animal” Bruce stating that he was definitely signing for The Pig’s Feet, David Dunn predictably signs a three and a half year contract with Blackburn Rovers.

Strange one this, we all know his injury record, know it’s a gamble. Maybe it’s just me but I’ve not been this happy with a signing for a very, very long time. Potentially we have a bargain. Fingers crossed.

Welcome home Dunny!

Next up, the small Irish one in the summer?

January 19 2007. Lucas Neill, heart set on a move to a bigger club, looked set to move to third from bottom West Ham United.

Apparently the “new challenge” seeking, multi-talented, multi-positional, often suspended, penalty conceding World Cup Superstar couldn’t agree terms with Liverpool. Fortunately for him The (Raving) Irons managed to stump up wages in excess of £50,000 a week to soften what must have come as a crashing blow to our ambitious want away player.

Elsewhere, Joe Garner (son of Simon, brother of Jennifer), joins Carlisle on loan. Elsewhere further south, after months if not years of stagnation, Al Murray joins Stoke City.

January 20 2007. Manchester City 0 Blackburn Rovers 3.

Another win. Oh the tedium. Rovers traveled to the Council House in good heart for this 5.15 kick off, a derby match that never fires the imagination.

It was a stroll in the park for our lads. Two great goals from The Artist Formerly Known As Pedersen, a brilliantly taken header (£5 at 12-1) and a (can I say trade mark? Probably not just yet) tremendous free kick. Sir Matthew Derbyshire of Ewood scored again, beating his man before almost walking the ball into the City net.

That was us up to 10th.

More bad news, Andre Ooijer broke his leg when one of the City donkey’s landed on him.

January 22 2007. At last Lucas Neill signs for West Ham dashing the hopes of Barcelona and AC Milan. By way of a replacement we sign Stephen Warlock, son of the big bouffanted haired Sheffield United Manager Neil, from Liverpool. Warlock junior signs a three and a half year contract with us. There was no mention of his wages. Magic.

Also, as well as, in addition, Sir Matty and Pauly Gally signed contract extensions, seeing them remain at the club (unless someone stumps up silly money) until 2010. One of the main reasons given was that they are local lads and give a damn about the football club.

January 23 2007. Watford 2 Rovers 1.

“Football. Bloody Hell” as a red faced man once said.

As I was saying, everyone beats Watford.

A real kick in the teeth this one and not just because of the result. If that was bad enough we also lost Robbie Savage for three months (if not the rest of the season) when he broke his leg. Watford’s Bangura went in slightly over the top and although we’ll never know whether there was intent the damage has been done.

For a man who is so disliked by football “fans” there was a lot of unpleasant stuff said and written following Sav’s injury. For all his faults (mainly the fact that he has girl's hair) I can’t recall Sav ever seriously injuring someone.

Berk Mk I opened the scoring with a badly taken header, Benni Mac equalized on 45 with a well taken header from a cross from the inform Davey B. De Ferrett scored the winner for Watford, giving them only their second win if the season.

A bad day all round.

January 24 2007. John “The Man In The Chair” Williams shakes up the football world and announces that prices to watch Blackburn Rovers next season will be cheaper. He goes on to say that the Premier League has become predictable and we all know the teams who’ll be finishing in the top four are even before the season has begun. Too true.

Clearly though the truth hearts in some quarters. Strange how the media and the press are scared to bite the hand that feeds it? “The Premier league boring? How dare you! I make my living writing constant drivel about Chelsea / Manchester United / Arsenal / Liverpool and I support them."

Let’s get this straight. How can anyone, any fan criticize if prices are actually dropped? How on earth is that a bad thing?!?

January 25 2007. No let up this month. Rovers sign 6 foot 5 defender Chris “Tiny” Samba from Eartha Kitt in Berlin. He also turns out to be the worlds scariest looking man and has been known to badly injure opponents by fixing them with a “hard stare”.

Chris “Tiny” Samba: Hobbies include stamp collecting, flower arranging and mass murder.

January 27 2007 Luton Town 0 Blackburn Rovers 4

Wah Hey!!! As Eric Morecombe would say. The FA Cup 4th round and we were live on the BBC at the ridiculous kick off time of 12.30.

You can’t keep a good team down, clearly. Sir Matthew Derbyshire of Ewood scored a couple of crackers, the first and the third, and comparisons were drawn in some quarters with the great Ian Rush, and this wasn’t just down to the size of his nose. Just how good is this guy? Five goals in five starts was it? Who nose, I certainly can’t work it out.

McCarthy prodded home and The Artist added a nicely taken fourth. It was all too easy for us and you had to feel a bit sorry for Mike Newell who has seen all his best players sold off.

Actually no, let’s not feel sorry for Luton, as I’m sure no one feels sorry for us do they?

Occasional wizard Stephen Warlock made his debut and showed just why Hughes wanted him, he linked up well with The Artist. A good signing. Tiny Samba also came on, “He’s a big lad isn’t he?™”. Best news of all though was the return of our Captain, Ryan Nelsen.

That was us into the hat, well that big plastic tombola thing anyway, for the 5th round draw on Monday.

Monday 29 January. Inevitably we get yet another away tie in the FA Cup, either at The Emirates or the Aluminum Hell hole down the M61.

Clearly unhappy with the draw Jay McHeavily decides it’s time to leave and joins Derby County for £600,000.+ add ons + sell on clause etc etc.

Tuesday 30 January. Perhaps Jay saw it coming as we sign another left back, a man with no conceivable nickname, in Bruno Berner from one of our UEFA Cup opponents Basil. .

Wednesday 31 January. Chelsea 3 Rovers 0.

Rovers played crisis club Chelsea, second in the league, in the final of the League Cup, at home to Blackpool or Norwich in the last 16 of the FA Cup and in the last 16 of the Champions League, and without one of the centre halves, the wheels had really come off the Chelsea bandwagon apparently.

Anyroad, we got beat. Drogba, Lampard and Kalou scoring the goals. Graham Poll also had a good game for Chelsea if reports are to be believed. Poll gave a decision against them earlier in the season and this was his first chance to put things right. Poor fella, I bet he's struggled sleeping.

Bring on Sheffield United….

Summary:

In: Dunny, Stephen Warlock, Tiny Samba, Bruno Frank Bunsen Berner

Welcome back: Ryan Nelsen, Jason Roberts, Franny Jeffers

Out: Al Murray, Luca£ Neill, Joe Garner (loan), Jay McHeavily, Andy Taylor (loan)

Not having much luck: Steven Reid, Andre Ooijer, Roberto De Savage – Get well soon.

Played 7. x1 Home, x6 Away. Won: 4 Lost: 3

[Bobby G]

I think we have to be happy with January overall. Yes, we lost 3 first team regulars to season ending injuries, but we are in the 5th round of the FA Cup and moved up the table to round about 10-11.

For me the lowest point was the defeat at Watford and those are the kind of games we cant afford not to win if we want to push for a European game and those are the type of games that have cost us a total of 11 points out of 12 this season.

I look forward to seeing Dunn in action and I feel and hope that we will all be impressed. Again.

[trueblue]

Excellent review as usual Bob.

Sod the zebra whingers... we need more zebra piccy's on here !!!

[Wolverine]

Excellent Bob.

You keep pushing back the boundaries - pics of zebras one month, resulting in worlwide controversy (i hear some countries were burning effigies of BRFCS.com moderators in response to those pictures).

But this month you are brave enough to post a meerkat too. I salute you and would like you to know you have my support for the coming backlash...

[bob fleming]

I know where you're coming from Wolverine but look again, that is in fact David Moyes.

[Rovermatt]

Brilliant Bob. You can never have too many pictures of meerkats.

[1864roverite]

great read to start the day

[CAPT KAYOS]

Chris “Tiny” Samba: Hobbies include stamp collecting, flower arranging and mass murder.

Pure class Bobski.... see ya Saturday

[Ronin]

Quality review as ever! Nice one.

[broadsword]

Nice one Bob, although I am concerned that too much serious stuff is creeping into your reviews.

Highlights this month were the Al Murray jibe and the Pie as you play deal.

[Presty On Tour]

Anyway, I have the following suggestions for UEFA, I know that Platini reads this so there’s no excuses:

1. All matches involving Blackburn Rovers to kick off on a Saturday at 3.00pm, to be shown live on Eurosport (who will pay BRFC £1million for the privilege). If a Premier League fixture has been scheduled for that date then the match is to be rewarded to Rovers and the score recorded as 5-0.

2. Home matches to be played at Ewood Park, Blackburn. Away matches to be played at The Amsterdam Arena, Amsterdam or The Anchor Ground, Darwen. This will be dependent on what Rovers fans “have got on” that week. (Free travel and accommodation to be provided by UEFA for both venues).

if only

tidy job bob!!!

[James No. 7]

I would like to informally complain about the lack of zebra pictures!

Bang, off we go. “Rampant Rovers Run Rigan Ragged”, could have been the headline in the Beijing Evening Telegraph but as we all know that paper is now run by people who don’t like Blackburn Rovers. So they ignored it.

The Scooby Doo Times ran the headline instead.

Good stuff, Bob.

[johnradfordsubbuteo]

The Jonny Slippers" reference has always amused me.

However I seem to have missed its derivation - is it some unusual boot colour and design or that he plays with such elegance (as if lightly shod)? Or both?

Please enlighten.

[bob fleming]

However I seem to have missed its derivation - is it some unusual boot colour and design or that he plays with such elegance (as if lightly shod)? Or both?

Afternoon Mr Subbuteo. Yes it's all to do with his white boots, makes him look soft. centre halves should surely wear black boots?

I've no idea where the "Johnny" bit came from, honest, but Johnny Slippers sounds better than Zurab Slippers doesn't it?

[Ste B]

What has this web site come to when you can’t even post a picture of a zebra without people running off and reporting me to the moderators?

Don't you bloody start. Its bad enough that Murdochs minions and the people of West Sussex have put a fatwa out on us all without you causing more trouble

[ewoodblue]

I've just changed my wildlife calender , and got a picture of a monkey(split image ), but just had a look , and not one picture of a zebra.So,what as everybody got against zebras lol(donkeys with stripes or a Newcastle ass).

As for the meerkats, i love 'em.......meerkat manor rules

[Shevchenko]

I fully endorse the inclusion of the photo of a meerkat....sorry, David Moyes.

I hereby suggest that all future monthly reviews should include meerkats in some shape of form (preferably, the shape and form of...a meerkat).

Lezz zebraz more meerkats!

[Wolverine]

I know where you're coming from Wolverine but look again, that is in fact David Moyes.

<squints>

You are of course correct - it's the eyes that got me.

Why do I have a sudden urge for a Cloret and the need to show you dancing. You know - really dancing...

[ewoodblue]

<squints>

You are of course correct - it's the eyes that got me.

Why do I have a sudden urge for a Cloret and the need to show you dancing. You know - really dancing...

Dances with Wolverine's lol

[colin]

The Liverpool fans refer to him as "The Gargoyle"

And it's easy to see why.

Here he is on Notre Dame.

Nothing like a meerkat at all.

[LDRover]

Bloody fantastic that Bob.

I laughed out loud at your description of Chris 'Tiny' Samba's hobbies.

[den]

Absolutely fabulous Bob.

You should have a bigger stage than this - keep tellin' you that!

[blue phil]

You're right , Den ......make him a moderator

[Billy Castell]

"Tuesday 30 January. Perhaps Jay saw it coming as we sign another left back, a man with no conceivable nickname, in Bruno Berner from one of our UEFA Cup opponents Basil."

How about Bunsen?

And I do think Samba looks as frightening as Sepultura lead singer Derek Green:

[den]

You're right , Den ......make him a moderator