[Archived] Depression

[tcj_jones]

I'v only ever been anything but miserable for about 18 months over the last 10 years or so. I never thought that this was anything to do with depression, but my doctor seems to think that this is the case. I have to say that my symptoms are common with those people suffering from depression, and it really is ruining my life.

Obviously this is something of a personal topic, and it took me a lot of courage to post this, so if there is anybody out there that has suffered from depression in the past, then I'd like to hear from you via pm. Hopefully you can help me get past this.

[dave birch]

A courageous post tcj.

By doing what you've done is the first step to recovery.

Stay as positive as you can and never be afraid to ask for help.

Take care

[Alan75]

As dave said, a very courageous post tc.

Try this link. Click

[Paul Mellelieu]

TCJ,

Remember your GP has about five minutes to see each patient.

The first to say is that what you are feeling is very, and increasingly common, in modern society. I've read Oliver James' book Britain on the Couch, which you may find interesting and helpful.

Some of the options that are open to you are:

a. Depending on the nature of your depression, your GP may offer to prescribe you with anti-depressants.

b. He or she may refer you to a counsellor or therapist for support. A counsellor should be easier to access. If you can afford going privately may be an option.

c. You may be given ther option of attending a self-help group.

d. Your GP may tell you to drink less (alcohol is a terrible depressant), get more exercise, advise you to get another job, and so on.

e. I'm sure there are others.

Have a look on the NHS Direct pages for an overview.

.

Good luck.

[broadsword]

Not something that I've suffered from, so my advice should be taken with a pinch of salt.

But I'd second getting some exercise. Get some endorphins into your brain. Just been reading a book about exercise ... apparently there is some evidence that it's exercise that involves a rhythmic element (eg running), that releases serotonin into the brain, which gives runners their high. Yoga is apparently similar, and I've experienced a great sense of well-being after doing yoga.

I realise that this will be of limited use to you, I just thought I'd say my piece. All the best, and whatever you do, don't self-medicate.

[FourLaneBlue]

Tcj - If you go out drinking then stop. Drinking isn't so bad when on the lash but usually leaves its mark in the few days after the session. Give yourself a break and do not binge drink until you feel a lot better about yourself.

It may also be partly to do with the weather. It's currently February and a bit miserable. Can you afford to get away to get away some time for a short break? Everyone seems a little bit more down during the winter. Getting up in the dark, coming home in the dark etc.

Those are only things that can help a bit...taking anti-depressants seems a big step. There is 'St. John's wort' which is non-prescription and is apparently similar but has far less side-effects.

Go and see your doctor however. We all feel down at times in our life but if it goes on for too long you should get medical advice.

[Oklahoma]

Very courageus, TCJ.

Hope you get better soon...

[neekoy]

I am not an expert on these things but my friend who had got to the point of suicide found that Counselling helped a great deal. He still goes and has for the past three years but he is a changed man.

And remember "Always look on the bright side of life......"

Good luck mate

[Flopsy]

ttcj - more exercise, less booze, healthier eating, not following the England Football team as well might be usefull

[Guest Kamy100]

TCJ very courgeous post.

I was feeling low about 2 years ago, not depression but just a constantly feeling off feeling low. Anyway I decided to have a bit of a lifestyle change more healthy eating, playing more sport and I took myself away on a week's break, seemed to do the trick.

Take care of yourself and hope all is well with you soon.

[roversmum]

tcj, sorry to hear your problems. Tried to pm you but your box is full. It's not easy to motivate yourself when you feel so sad, but make sure you eat well and take exercise, it will help. Spoil yourself a bit. Best wishes, thinking of you.

[T4E]

Tried to pm you but your box is full.

Sign of a popular member of the board in my eyes.

TCJ, very sorry to hear this. I cannot offer much in the way of advice but I would like to say that I always enjoy reading your posts and personally consider you to be one of the best contributors on the entire site. I certainly would never have guessed you were feeling this way from the light-hearted, articulate way you express yourself in these parts.

All the best mate, I hope someone on here can be more help to you than I.

[Dr Gonzo]

I have suffered from the same thing, although its funny I can't remember much about it now.

Once you have admitted it / been diagnosed you're basically onto a winner. You just have to be honest with yourself and work out why, and then make steps to remedy it. Sounds simple but its not. You also have to let pleople help you, not always easy.

Once you're onto changing things you feel so much better. Hope you feel better soon dude.

[dillo_dillo]

Oh... I have suffer from same ill around 2 years.....stubbornly resist treatment...

It's killing me!

[Eddie]

Best of luck tcj. I've had a few friends deal with depression with varying success; but on the basis that you have been so open and honest about it and are looking for help I would think that you'll soon be able to work through things.

[tcj_jones]

Thanks very much for the replies and the personal messages. It really is appreciated. Likewise, I would like to offer my complete sympathy and support for those that have suffered in the past.

I have been so inundated with replies that my inbox filled up in the space of a day! Suddenly I feel uber popular lol. I will try and reply to everybody as soon as possible. Sorry I haven't got back to everybody sooner, but I have been off the board for a few days.

[thenodrog]

Not much good me posting on this stuff as the nearest link to anything similar is that my daughter is currently studying psychology.

But... imo we all get faced with sh1t at some time during our lives albeit to varying degrees and the only real and lasting answer is to sort it out ourselves, even if a little help is needed to kick start the process. My personal advice would be to isolate the cause of your symptoms whether it's work / homelife / relationship based etc then face up to it and defeat it. Might be tough but if you can beat this then you'll feel much stronger and more confident as an individual. To feel good about anything by definition can only occur if you have ever experienced feeling bad about something.

This life is short enough and is definitely not a rehearsal so be positive and make the most of what is in front of you.

[Ozz]

TCJ-did you get my PM as it is not showing in my SENT box?

Thenodrog-sometimes depression is caused by certain sets on external influences, work, homelife, alcohol (esp), diet etc but sometimes mental illnesses of this type are purely a chemical imbalance in the brain. No-ones fault, just another part of the body that can "Go Wrong" like any other. Drugs are usually prescribed to help this, but external, controllable influences can help the recovery.

[roversmum]

I was just about to point out Ozzie's point about chemical imbalance in the brain etc. Therefore, often medication can help just as you would take it for an infection so don't rule it out, and sometimes you need to persevere and dry different ones. It really is worth a try.

Drog has a sort of a point but if circumstances are the problem then your depression shouldn't be ongoing - we all feel low sometimes whatever our circumstances, it's when the feeling doesn't lift at all you should see the doctor.

[Billy Castell]

As I have been diagnosed with clinical depression when I was about 12 or 13, I can only offer a few things. Excercise and a healthy diet can probably help, and drink can be dangerous. I you feel happy, you can go out, have a few drinks (but not loads) and generally try to relax. If you are irritable, meloncholy or feel your good mood may nosedive, don't drink, and maybe not go out at all. Another tip is to try and joke about things that go wrong. It sounds dumb, but a self-depreciating sense of humour can sometimes help. It helped me when in my late teens everyone else had a social life, women etc. and I couldn't pull a piece of string. When your life does take a strange route, repeat the phrases 'It will sound good in the autobiography', or 'if a crazy tramp like Hitler can rule Germany then I have a chance to yourself.

The alcohol rule is the biggie. Trust me on that, as I'll come out now and tell a story. I went to Nottingham Trent Uni in 2000, and tried to fit in with the crowd. You know, do the whole false confidence thing. I went out as much as them, I drank a lot etc. I was also very quiet and I wanted to just ease myself into the situation I was in. Some people decided I was a dangerous weirdo as I was very quiet and spent a lot of time in my room. To cut a long story short, I drank too much, overheard people in my flat saying I was a psycho (not good as I can get paranoid about that sort of thing), got threatened as I was apparently stalking someone by waving to them whenever I passed their window or asking if they wanted a drink (it honestly was just that), had a bottle of vodka thrown at me by some drunk tossers, and probably had a nervous breakdown. The alcohol didn't help me cope with the situations as they arose one bit, and made them much worse.

[colin]

A close family friend has been suffering from clinical depression for a few years now. It's just about tailing off. Been on Prozac for a number of years and that seems to have worked (eventually.)

The worst was that person about to throw themselves under a Metrolink tram. Perhaps more recognisable to members was that person sat in the Blackburn End, after we put goal no 7 past Norwich all those years ago, sat there in the Blackburn End completely emotionless.

Depression is a real swine, it's at best misunderstood and at worst it attract coments like "pull yourself together" and "cheer up it might never happen."

If my advice is anything to go by (which it ain't) I'd second Bryan's advive to do some running or something just to get the blood & endorphins running. The highlight of my week is usually after my five a side on Thursday. I feel like Superman when I've finished the hour.

All the best & good luck. I hope you conquer the @#/?.

[Oakland]

courageus post,

I know what you're going through, and all I can say is "Hang in there, it's gonna be better some day". Get some therapy and medication, it help me.

Best wishes.

[Ozz]

As you get older, there are more and more moments that feel like the whole world is conspiring against you, well it seems like that for me. I guess it is just life dealing its hand to you, you take the good cards and feel you were due them and when the bad card arrives, you take it as an insult and how dare things go wrong, how dare something bad happen, and it is just one thing after another.

Time flies when you're having fun, it is said, well this is true. Badness is all round and is ready to and waiting to tap your shoulder, introduce itself, and enquire politely if it can stay a while. The good times, well the is like the polite cousin at the wedding you only ever meet at family events. They are always there, in the distance, on the horizon, on view, just out of reach if you make no effort at all. But they are there. If you summon a little courage, release the ties that bind your feet, loosen the cuffs on lifes sleeves a little, it gets a little easier to stretch out your arm and feel for the good times, and feel the life inside you. But it aint gonna make the effort to come to you, you gotta git to it.

Don't let the bad times stay. Don't get me wrong me need dark to appreciate the light, but let it stay too long and there is no room left for nice times stay.

And when the clock strikes midnight, and it's time to take a stock of all, it's the peasure of the light that makes the dark seem ok.

[Nayef]

Depression is more common in this country than most people realise. And some friends have told me that it's a rising phenomenon in the States and Sweden too.

(I think Sweden has the highest suicide rate in the whole of Europe due to lack of sunlight throughout the year).

There have been some good replies already and no doubt, your inbox is full of messages of support and comfort.

1. As a lot of people have pointed out, get off the alcohol. It may help to forget your problems for an evening but they will all come back with a fiendish vengeance and strike you down.

2. Like it or not, you have to get off your arse and do some exercise. Go swimming, jogging or better some sport - you'll meet people too.

3. Don't beat yourself up - you've got to be your best friend. When you feel a negative thought coming, just say "I hear you but I'm not listening"

4. Eat well - you eat a kebab, you'll feel skewered later. You eat a Bic Mac and you'll feel like a mad cow. Get some vegetables and fruit. Replace fatty foods with healthy foods.

5. Choose your thoughts carefully. Bad thoughts like "it's all hopeless" are just that - thoughts. It's all too easy to start believing them if you keep saying them. I suppose taking the converse to be true, you should replace these thoughts with more positive ones. Use your weaknesses to be your strengths in the future.

6. As Colin mentioned, sometimes when you ought to be happy but don't feel it (I'd be off my seat going bonkers if I saw Rovers score 7 against Norwich) then perhaps it is time to admit that there may be a chemical imbalance and the need to talk to your GP. Medication might help but get all information about it.

7. Put some Enya on.

And remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. You may get depressed thinking someone has something you don't have but the quickest way to destroy your self-esteem is to compare yourself to these people whose life you know nothing about. Don't put other people on pedestals - you don't know if they are truly happy. Life is so short that you've got to forget about missed opportunities and look to the future. When Mr Shearer missed an easy chance for us, did he ponder over it and wonder how he missed? Did he use his energy regretting about the lost opportunity? Did he hell. He focused on the future and promptly whacked it in one. And remember he broke his leg once - bad things happen even to the best of us. It's how we react that makes a difference.

[den]

It's very difficult to understand what depression actually is. You really have got to have experienced it to understand fully. It isn't about feeling fed-up or jealous or envious. Nor is it something that can be overcome simply by "pulling yourself together" or "trying to be happier. If it was that easy, no-one would be depressed.

Most of the time, people only really understand they were depressed when they have come through the other side. It is something that I've suffered from, but to be honest, it's very difficult to advise someone how to overcome it. I just think that you must recognise the cause first. Once that's been done, then talk to someone who can help you through that cause. Medicines do help for sure and maybe that's the way forward to begin with, but they aren't something that you would want to stay on for too long. If the depression becomes dangerous, then medicines become a "must"