[Archived] Mole At Brockhall!

[pleasure]

last week, Rovers had to call in a pest controller, as theyre making a mess of the pitches! i've just spoken to him on other matters (the pest controller, not the mole).

if souness was here he'dve used that as an excuse for our uefa exit and injuries :ph34r:

wonder if our famous club-shop will start selling 'SOFT TOY MOLES' in rovers shirts' ?

we should replace 'roar' with 'moley' at the very least!

[ABBEY]

or andy mole

[ABBEY]

nah their cloven hoofs dont dig well

[Cocker]

At least we know where Tugay's squirrel is then

[ABBEY]

i trust everyone is ok and noone got mole -ested

[Damage]

unmoleevable!

Those things are bloody molevalent creatures!

[eddiewac]

Hole-y mole-y!! Everyones in on the puns lol

[KimberleyBRFC]

For those who are interested...

Recognition:

Short usually black fur. Spade-like forelimbs. Pink fleshy snout. Head/body length: 113-159mm. Tail: 25-40mm. Weight: 72-128g. Males usually larger.

General Ecology:

Moles are found throughout Britain but not in Ireland. They are present in most habitats where the soil is deep enough to allow tunnelling but are uncommon in coniferous forests, on moorlands and in sand dunes, probably because their prey is scarce.

Moles spend almost all their lives underground in a system of permanent and semi-permanent tunnels. Surface tunnels are usually short-lived and occur in newly cultivated fields, in areas of light sandy soil and in very shallow soils, where prey is concentrated just below the surface. More usual is a system of permanent deep burrows which form a complex network hundreds of metres long at varying depths in the soil. The deepest tunnels are used most in times of drought and low temperatures. Permanent tunnels are used repeatedly for feeding over long periods of time, sometimes by several generations of moles.

Within the tunnel system moles construct one or more spherical nest chambers, each lined with a ball of dry plant material. Nests are used for sleeping and for raising young.

Earthworms are the most important component of the mole's diet; an 80g mole needs 50g of earthworms per day. Moles also eat many insect larvae particularly in the summer. Earthworms dominate the winter diet. Moles sometimes collect and store them alive in special chambers. The stored worms are immobilised by a bite to the head segment, 470 worms have been recorded in one chamber. Food is either actively dug out of the soil by the mole or more often collected from the floor of the tunnel. Many soil animals fall through into the tunnels. Moles rarely forage on the surface, most often in times of drought.

Males and females are solitary for most of the year, occupying exclusive territories. With the start of the breeding season males enlarge their territories, tunnelling over large areas in search of females. A litter of 3 or 4 naked babies is born in the spring. Fur starts to grow at 14 days, eyes open at 22 days and they are weaned at 4-5 weeks. The young start to leave the nest at 33 days and disperse from their mother's range at 5-6 weeks. Dispersal takes place above ground and is a time of great danger. Moles are sexually mature in the spring following birth.

Most moles don't live beyond 3 years but can live up to 6 years. Their main predators are owls, buzzards, stoats, cats and dogs but vehicles and humans also kill many.

Conservation:

Moles have no legal protection in the U.K. and are frequently regarded as pests by farmers, horticulturists and green-keepers. Surface tunnelling in newly planted fields may disturb plant roots so much that they will wilt and die. Mole hills cause damage to farm machinery. Mole hills also cause contamination of grass used to make silage.

At the beginning of the century moles were trapped in large numbers for their pelts but today they are killed as pests. This is done by trapping and poisoning, both cruel methods. If traps are well maintained and set correctly death can be rapid, although not instantaneous. If the trap is old and rusty or set incorrectly, death is slow and painful. The poison most commonly used is strychnine. Strychnine is normally banned but it can be obtained for killing moles with written permission from the Ministry of Agriculture. Permission is only given to experienced users. Mole tunnels are baited with poisoned worms. Death by strychnine poisoning is slow and agonizing and strychnine is highly dangerous to other wildlife, domestic animals and humans.

Moles can be beneficial to man, preying on many harmful insect larvae such as cockchafers and carrot fly, while tunnels help drain and aerate heavy soils.

Frequent Questions:

How do moles dig?

Fore limbs are used to dig, shearing soil from the sides of the tunnel with alternate strokes. Hind limbs are used to brace the mole's body against the tunnel walls. The mole turns round, scoops up accumulated soil with its fore limbs and pushes it along a previously dug side tunnel leading to the surface. The soil is pushed out above ground to form a molehill.

[Ronin]

Hole-y mole-y!! Everyones in on the puns lol

Think you're making a mountain out of a molehill there

[KimberleyBRFC]

Think you're making a mountain out of a molehill there

[ABBEY]

HE COULD WRITE A BOOK the diary of adrian mole

[brfcshabba]

I've heard Brad Friedel and Jason Brown have taken the moles home. They are both molekeepers.

[ABBEY]

if they kick them high will they end up in the moler system?

[JC4LAB]

You could always complain to the Molelopolies Commission

[philipl]

Molested by a thread.

[bblue]

I sense a poll coming on the smartest mole joke in this thread

[Alan75]

The groundsmen should tale a tip from

copyright Jasper Carrot 1979

[Hannah]

Has no one done the joke about hiding the spade????

[Cocker]

Q: Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?

A: It's mole-itically incorrect

Q: What is a mole's favorite movie?

A: The Green Mole

Q: What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?

A: A bunch of Moleasses

Q: What line from Shakespeare do high school moles have to memorize?

A: "To mole or not to mole, this is the question."

Q: What element do moles love to study in chemistry?

A: Molybdenum

Q: What is a mole favorite kind of music?

A: Rock 'N' Mole

Q: What did mole get when he mixed ice cream, chocolate syrup, and milk together?

A: A chocolate Molted

Q: What happens when a mole bites a dog?

A: He becomes Moleicious!

Q: mole loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?

A: Father Molecahy

Q: What was moles favorite Indian tribe?

A: The Molehawks

[Jim J]

Everything you ever wanted to know about moles but were afraid to ask (and much you didn't want to know)

demoleition - The destruction which moles bring about in your yard.

dismole - being gloomy on Mole Day

imoleble - anything that does not have to do with a mole

mol - the symbol for mole

mole-mole - a mole double agent

molearchy - government in which moles are in complete control; under this government Mole Day is celebrated three times a year and chemistry is the only scientific subject taught in school

molebile - a mole which hangs from the ceiling; also a term describing anything which can move rapidly inderground

molect - the obsessive collection of Mole Day stuff including T-shirts, lawn decorations, pins, and endless other things

molectomy - the study of a mole's insides

molehill - a large hill made of dirt in your backyard, formed from moles borrowing underground; also a term used to describe anything that's pesky

moleism - the continual reverence of moles

molelaberate - working together on a project which includes moles

moleodic - a word describing the Mole Day songs which are played over the loudspeaker

moleskito - a tiny molelike creature with wings which drinks the blood of anyone who doesn't remember when Mole Day is

remoletly - obscurely having to do with a mole

remolte control - a devise used by moles to watch all their favorite television shows, such as Bill Nye the Science Guy and the Discovery Channel, particularly used by lazy papa moles

sophmole - anyone in the tenth grade who is taking Chemistry already

thermole - an adjective describing a mole of a highly explosive substance

[ABBEY]

sign up on deal or no deal insted of mole edmonds

[KimberleyBRFC]

At least we know where Tugay's squirrel is then

Maybe we could get the Squirrel and the Mole to mate in some sort of sick half time entertainment show?

[Dunnfc]

Im chocking on a moletesar here with laughter!

[ABBEY]

[RoversFanUSA]

Maybe we could get the Squirrel and the Mole to mate in some sort of sick half time entertainment show?

Ewww