[Archived] Looking Up..

[RoversFanUSA]

Well today while on lunch break at work I began to think. In our busy hussle and bussle lives do we take the time to just look up? I'm not talking in a "things will look up" or "keep your head up" kind of way, I mean litterley do you take the time to look up at the sky and just look at how blue it can be. I figured with how busy our dailey lives can be to take a few min a day just to relax and look up can't be a bad idea.

The reason I bring this up is beacuse as of latley I've been going through a rough patch (lost my job, broke up with my feancè and she won't let me see my step daughter, retore my acl that I had knee surgery on and a couple of other things) but over all I know that life will get better. I miss the money that my job provided and the two afore mentioned ladys in my life but have come to relized that what goes down must come up.

I have to be thankful for the things i have (everyone out there should as well IMO) and I think that today when I actully took the time from my busy day to just look up (not at the sun of corse) and relize how big the world really is and to just take the time to see how wonderful and rich the blue in the sky is it made me feel so much better. Looking at the fluffy clouds and thinking to my self that I hadn't actully looked up in the sky since I was maybe a wee lad of 12 made me feel like had done my self a great wrong. Not so much that not looking in the sky is wrong but that I had let my busy lifestyle take over every aspect of my life, that I had forgoten to just take the time to step away from all of that for 2-3 min and just be.

I guess what I'm saying is that I think everyone should take the time somtimes and just be. Don't worry about life about Rovers about work about the kids (if you gotum) about the bills, forget about all of that for just 2-3 min and just be. I think you'll find it helps a lot with stress and helping you feel "right" in the world. -RFUSA

[Sandiway Blue]

Funny you should mention this....

At work the other day i found myself staring up at the sky with the odd cloud dotted about during my 15 minute break.I must have spent around 7 or 8 minutes just watching and afterwards i had a really good feeling about myself and my life.

Ok i haven`t got a great deal of money and if i want something i work hard and do extra hours to get what i want and yes, life will throw a couple of hard balls at me and put myself through a rough spell.But,i can truly say i am better off than a lot of people i know and have found the people with the most money,tend to be the most miserable.

A great post RFUSA and a timely reminder that through these hard economic times,money isn`t everything and the the things that are the most valuable in life,are usually the simplest of things that we take for granted,but don`t fully appreciate.

Sounds like life is throwing some hard balls at you at the moment,but chin up and hopefully things will start to change for you.

[Hughesy]

I guess what I'm saying is that I think everyone should take the time somtimes and just be. Don't worry about life about Rovers about work about the kids (if you gotum) about the bills, forget about all of that for just 2-3 min and just be. I think you'll find it helps a lot with stress and helping you feel "right" in the world. -RFUSA

Get away with you man

Good times will be back, NEVER be down about anything. I take life far less seriously than most and not alot can knock me down, people like you say just need to take a step back and chill, dont worry about debts, problems or work.

[OhmiBRFC]

Get away with you man

Good times will be back, NEVER be down about anything. I take life far less seriously than most and not alot can knock me down, people like you say just need to take a step back and chill, dont worry about debts, problems or work.

For many people unfortunately it's not as simple as that.

[dave birch]

He's not far wrong, though Ohmi.

If you let things get to you, your thinking gets cloudy and muddled.

With me, it's not looking at the sky (though down here it's crystal clear), it's taking three very deep slow breaths, and composing myself, thinking about what I'm about to do.

At other times, when I can't solve a problem, I go to bed, relax, try to forget the problem, and sleep. Generally, with a fresh mind, a solution will appear.

[Hughesy]

For many people unfortunately it's not as simple as that.

Why?

Course it is - Glass half full or Glass half empty?

[DE.]

I've never really been 'depressed' in my life. I've had a few bad experiences and set-backs, but I've never let them get me down.

Saying that, many people have been through far worse than me. Can't blame some people for being unhappy.

I get more wound up with people who claim to be "depressed" over silly things like relationships breaking up (not marriages, mind... different kettle of fish there), their favourite in x factor contestant not winning, not having enough money to go and get wasted, etc... far worse things in the world to get upset over if you absolutely have to feel that way.

[OhmiBRFC]

He's not far wrong, though Ohmi.

If you let things get to you, your thinking gets cloudy and muddled.

With me, it's not looking at the sky (though down here it's crystal clear), it's taking three very deep slow breaths, and composing myself, thinking about what I'm about to do.

At other times, when I can't solve a problem, I go to bed, relax, try to forget the problem, and sleep. Generally, with a fresh mind, a solution will appear.

Why?

Course it is - Glass half full or Glass half empty?

It just isn't. I'm optimistic now, I can see the good in things now.

Previously it was never as simple as just forgetting about my 'problems,' if anyone thinks it is just that simple to turn emotions and thoughts off then they're just being naïve.

[tcj_jones]

I get more wound up with people who claim to be "depressed" over silly things like relationships breaking up (not marriages, mind... different kettle of fish there)... not having enough money to go and get wasted, etc... far worse things in the world to get upset over if you absolutely have to feel that way.

That's a pretty narrow minded view - different things affect different people in different ways. It's hardly a matter of people wanting or 'having' to feel that way, it's not a choice.

Course it is - Glass half full or Glass half empty?

Again, it's great that you have that outlook but you should know that it isn't as simple as that for many.

Interestingly, when I was seeing a counsellor a few years ago, she mentioned that the highest rates of depression in Europe are found in those Scandanavian countries with the least amount of sunlight and that waiting lists to see a counsellor are considerably longer during the winter.

It's actually a matter of science - I won't go into it, but sunlight makes us feel good. It might sound silly, but I just feel so much happier when it's a gorgeous summer day and I can lay on the grass looking up at a clear blue sky.

[OhmiBRFC]

I agree with everything you have said there tcj_jone

When I felt cack I didn't want to. In actual fact I had no choice!

[tcj_jones]

Oh, something else I was going to say:

I hope things are looking up for you now RoversFanUSA and you too for that matter, Ohmi

[yoda]

I think I will start a gynecology thread

[OhmiBRFC]

Oh, something else I was going to say:

I hope things are looking up for you now RoversFanUSA and you too for that matter, Ohmi

Cheers

I'm doing alot better

[colin]

RoversfanUsa,

Looks like you are going through a lot of problems, I hope you get through them. I know some people sail through seperation/divorce/access to the children like they were born to it. I know others who really struggle to get through the process.

If you get some consolation from the sky then have a look at these two:

The Cloud Appreciation Society

Atmospheric Optics

and if they don't get to go you to "the pig with six legs" then just do a www search for it.

I hope it goes well for you. All the best. Life can be horrible. I hope yours gets better. Soon.

[DE.]

That's a pretty narrow minded view - different things affect different people in different ways. It's hardly a matter of people wanting or 'having' to feel that way, it's not a choice.

It's not narrow-minded at all, it's realistic. If you're getting depressed over somebody you don't know losing on the X Factor or not having enough money to go out and get drunk then you need to re-evaluate your perspective. The country is in its current sorry state because of opinions like yours that suggest we should put an arm around these people and say "awww, its okay, you have a right to feel that way".

As I said in the rest of my post (which you didn't quote) there are legitimate reasons to be depressed and I have no issue with that. None of the things I listed are reasons to be depressed, and if you are depressed because of them then you need to seriously have a think about how much worse other people have got it.

[LeftWinger]

It's not narrow-minded at all, it's realistic. If you're getting depressed over somebody you don't know losing on the X Factor or not having enough money to go out and get drunk then you need to re-evaluate your perspective. The country is in its current sorry state because of opinions like yours that suggest we should put an arm around these people and say "awww, its okay, you have a right to feel that way".

I thought he was suggesting you were being narrow minded about people getting depressed over the break-up of a relationship. I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years and I'd be devastated if we broke up. I wouldn't call that a silly thing to be depressed over to be honest. To compare it with people getting depressed about something going out of x-factor is ridiculous in itself.

[tcj_jones]

I thought he was suggesting you were being narrow minded about people getting depressed over the break-up of a relationship. I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years and I'd be devastated if we broke up. I wouldn't call that a silly thing to be depressed over to be honest. To compare it with people getting depressed about something going out of x-factor is ridiculous in itself.

Yeah that was kinda what I was going for. These things cannot be considered in such arbitrary terms. Just because a person is married, that doesn't devalue the relationship of another couple.

But it goes for other things as well. Being hard up on money can be enough to get people very depressed. Conversely, millionaires aren't always going to be happy.

[DE.]

I thought he was suggesting you were being narrow minded about people getting depressed over the break-up of a relationship. I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years and I'd be devastated if we broke up. I wouldn't call that a silly thing to be depressed over to be honest. To compare it with people getting depressed about something going out of x-factor is ridiculous in itself.

Yeah that was kinda what I was going for. These things cannot be considered in such arbitrary terms. Just because a person is married, that doesn't devalue the relationship of another couple.

But it goes for other things as well. Being hard up on money can be enough to get people very depressed. Conversely, millionaires aren't always going to be happy.

Ah , sorry, I see what you were saying now. I didn't explain it very well. I pretty much meant the kind of people who flit in and out of relationships like they don't mean a thing. Should have said long-term relationships and marriaqes rather than just marriages. Also, I agree re: financial worries, again, I meant people who are frivalous with their money or are disappointed solely because they don't have enough money to buy their favourite DVD this week or go out and get drunk with their college/uni friends. The type of people who say they're "depressed" all the time and act like sadsacks when in reality their problems are self-created or not even that important.

[tcj_jones]

Ah I see, fair enough - I'm glad you cleared that one up

[bellamy11]

DE4life,

Surely you aren't suggesting that there is a definitive list, set in stone, which is split up into "acceptable to become depressed about" and "not acceptable to become depressed about"?

I can sort of see what you're saying, but I think in a roundabout way your problem is about definition. In the same way that people say they have flu when they have a cold or that they have a migraine when they have a headache, people say they're depressed when they're unhappy. This is annoying and inaccurate, granted. But people can't pick and choose what makes them unhappy, no matter how trivial they may seem to be to others.

[DE.]

DE4life,

Surely you aren't suggesting that there is a definitive list, set in stone, which is split up into "acceptable to become depressed about" and "not acceptable to become depressed about"?

I can sort of see what you're saying, but I think in a roundabout way your problem is about definition. In the same way that people say they have flu when they have a cold or that they have a migraine when they have a headache, people say they're depressed when they're unhappy. This is annoying and inaccurate, granted. But people can't pick and choose what makes them unhappy, no matter how trivial they may seem to be to others.

I think some people need some serious perspective, and that society's current "all-about-me" focus has conditioned a lot of people to wallow in self-pity over the most trivial things rather than promoting being proactive and focusing on making things better.

I agree to an extent it is a problem of definition, but some people I know genuinely believe they're incredibly hard done-by in life when they're anything but.

[tcj_jones]

But you don't KNOW that DE4life. Likewise, people might get upset by things that others find trivial, but it doesn't mean that they have any less right to or that they can control that in any way.

[den]

I think some people need some serious perspective, and that society's current "all-about-me" focus has conditioned a lot of people to wallow in self-pity over the most trivial things rather than promoting being proactive and focusing on making things better.

I agree to an extent it is a problem of definition, but some people I know genuinely believe they're incredibly hard done-by in life when they're anything but.

Those people are not suffering depression, they are simply fed up with life. People suffering depression deserve sympathy because it isn't an illness that can be treated easily.

[DE.]

I know people who deserve to be upset and unhappy. People who have had terrible things done to them, or who have suffered tremendously in other ways.

They're, ironically, normally the ones with their heads held high, making the most out of life.

Generalisations are obviously not good, and there are exceptional cases. Clinical depression is a different kettle of fish entirely. I do believe that a LOT of people moan and become unhappy over things that would seem far less of a problem after gaining a little perspective. If people want to disagree with that then fine, it is your right and I don't really have a problem with it. Just my opinion.

[Shevchenko]

Interestingly, when I was seeing a counsellor a few years ago, she mentioned that the highest rates of depression in Europe are found in those Scandanavian countries with the least amount of sunlight and that waiting lists to see a counsellor are considerably longer during the winter.

It's actually a matter of science - I won't go into it, but sunlight makes us feel good. It might sound silly, but I just feel so much happier when it's a gorgeous summer day and I can lay on the grass looking up at a clear blue sky.

I can attest to this. I have been feeling the effect of the "winter depression" more and more over the last few years and particularly this past winter. It peaked for me as the days were shortest and darkest, I felt absolutely horrible - to the point where you could see physically that I was not having the best of times. Granted, certain other events happened around this time that wasn´t great but I am pretty certain that it was the lack of sunlight that was the main culprit. Once the days started to brighten up and spring started to come around my mood lifted and now that the summer is here and it is very bright almost most of the time, I feel no ill effects at all. I´ve not had any of this clinically diagnosed though but may take this to my doctor if it persists this winter. I am also planning a trip (about a week) to sunnier climates at some point during december or january when it is darkest here.