[Archived] Burnley V Blackburn Rovers

[bob fleming]

Aside from the "burnley Relgation Watch" thread, the "Dingle Derby" thread and the "Tales & Memories of Derby Day" there's hardly been a mention of our forthcoming encounter with the enemy. So, with this in mind, somewhat early you could argue, here's a preview...

burnley. B*stards, twits and runts. A small town in Yorkshire, That place on the other side of Accrington, Tutters, Inbreds. Six Fingered Knuckle Draggers, Scum, Them, That lot, Those who we do not speak of, The Clampets, The Clarrots, Hill Trolls, Face Combers, The Dark Place…….

……The Dingles.

However, let’s not let this preview fall victim to cliché and colloquialism shall we? Not just yet. Let’s move on before we get dragged in, marry a cousin and open a pig farm.

“I'll tell you now and I'll tell you firmly,

I don't never want to go to burnley,

What they do there don't concern me,

Why would anybody make the journey?”

Good point well made. I don't think many do from our neck of the woods if they can help it. I think I’ve been twice since we played them in 2000. Once too many if you ask me. However a week tomorrow 2,400 intrepid Rovers fans will be there.

They don’t like us and we don’t like them. I get the feeling that they dislike us more, that’s what comes of 30 years of Blackburn Rovers dominance, when your neighbours are the greatest and most successful team in Lancashire I suppose it’s inevitable.

The fact that they were higher than us in the league for a short spell this season is just a freak of nature (good grief, even Hayley’s Comet comes round every so often) and had more to do with our tricky October fixture list than anything else. Obviously.

But where does all this unseemly unpleasantness stem from though? Why do we use (or some of us use) the names above? Why the hatred? It wasn’t always like this as some of the older viewers on this messageboard will tell you. Back in the day fans would follow Rovers one week and then them the next. The very thought of it eh?

April 1983. Rovers 2 burnley 1. The match was marred by burnley fans trying to take the Darwen End to pieces and home with them (which if the away end we’ll be housed in is in the same state as it was when I visited last time wouldn’t be such a bad idea) then chucking great clumps of asbestos onto the pitch and at their own fans. The game was nearly called off. Not big and not clever.

Then there was the famous flyover incident; May 1991. When a group of nameless Rovers fans (you know who you are) clubbed together and chartered a plane to fly over t’Turf just as they were making a mess of the play offs against the mighty Torquay United. 2-0 down after the first leg there was no way they were gong to pull that back.

“Staying Down Forever – Luv Rovers HA HA HA”

The stuff of legend which I doubt will ever be bettered (Shirts on statues? Leave it out. Then again graffiti on club shops ain’t much cop either – maybe it’s my age).

Just two instances over the last few years, there are many, many more, as to why there is so much ill feeling between the two sets of fans. Anyway, this has all been covered and done to death before. Let’s take a look at the last few results and incidents leading up to the game.

08.02.10 – burnley FC announce ambitious plans to convert their Cricket Field Stand into a giant ghetto blaster.

One local resident who wanted to remain anonymous due to his embarrassment of being a local resident described the idea as “Bloody stupid. How many batteries will that thing need? Will it play my old C90’s?”

21.02.10 - Rovers 3 Bolton Wanderererers 0 – 12th

21.02.10 – Aston Villa 5 burnley 2 - 19th

26.02.10. burnley's slightly more intelligent centre half than the other one, Clarke Carlisle, makes his third and final appearance of the week on Channel 4 Quiz Countdown but crashes out in the final round when to everyone’s absolute astonishment he doesn’t spot the Conundrum:

G I O N G D W O N

(Look I know that gag was (or a variant) was on the 4000 Holes Website but I thought of it as well and it’s staying in!! Yeah, like you believe me. This is why they're trying to rush a bill through Parliament no doubt - see Glenn's post in ICBINF.)

26.02.10. Portsmouth seven points adrift at the bottom of the Premier League, four different owners in the season and scandalously miss-managed, become the first Premier League Club to go into Administration. A further 9 point penalty will be imposed on 17 March. Their spirit is crushed, they are doomed and without hope.

27.02.10 burnley 1 Portsmouth 2

28.02.10 Liverpool 2 Rovers 1 - We were robbed. Andrews with a sublime piece of skill from the penalty spot, chipping under the keeper. 12th.

06.03.10 - Arsenal 3 burnley 1. At the Emirates in front of 15,000 traveling away fans. 19th.

10.03.10 - burnley 1 Stoke City 1. Tony Pullis considers his managerial future after this terrible result but is talked into carrying on. 18th.

13.03.10 - Spurs 3 Rovers 1. Rovers had a blatant penalty turned down and Kalinic had a goal ruled out because he was pushed in the back. 12th.

13.03.10 - burnley 1 Wolverhampton Wanderererers 2. Highlights, other than the result, include a fine own goal by Clarke Carlisle and a bizarre head butt on Kevin Doyle by an escaped giant pig. 18th.

14.03.10 - Alan Nicko Nixon reveals that burnley fans plan to paint David Dunn's house purple and blue sometime before the big game. Sunday People. Thwarted by the Serious Crime Squad, The Sweeney, the FBI and Interpol, this is now unlikely to happen.

When Chief Inspector Parrot Nose of the Yard was asked how these crazy pranksters intended to get Dunny's modest house (pictured below) painted before being rumbled he replied:

"Finger Painting. Our experts estimate that a team of 4 would have got the job done in under 5 minutes, front and back."

Dunny's House - A Bit Earlier Today - before it started raining.

17.03.10 - Current burnley victim / Manager Brian Laws starts getting his belongings together after being given the vote of confidence. A bit harsh. He's hardly John Bond. He just needs time.

20.03.10 - Wigan Athletic 1 burnley 0. A 90th minute winner. Oh dear. Oh dear me. 18th.

21.03.10 - Rovers entertain Chelsea. Anything here will be a bonus. 24.03.10. Rovers entertain Brum - we should be looking to win this one.

Which leads us quite nicely as far as I'm concerned up to next Sunday's game...

All things considered it’ll be a very tight match and we’ll have to be abject average to win. At times like this it us up to the superior force, the Good versus the Evil, to hold their nerve, rise up and prove that famous old adage correct again. One of the wisest things, if not the very wisest, that anyone has ever said in the history of man kind:

“You can’t polish a turd”. You would be forgiven for thinking that whoever said that was actually thinking of burnley F.C.

They’ll bottle it and we will win, we always do (well if you're 31 or under we do – is that a generation? Maybe more? How long is a generation anyway? The Who had their own interpretation but what do they know? Besides they just sang about it without actually getting to the nitty gritty and saying how long a generation actually is. No use to anyone that Daltrey).

Our lads will steam role them with a mixture of good old Arte and Labore. Quite possibly more Hard Labore than Arte if we’re honest but if any team thinks they’re going to win this by being all Arte Farte then think again.

And what will be left for our dear neighbours? A full on riot in assorted town centre pet shops probably. Followed by the inevitable relegation that was predicted by most as soon as Sheffield United failed to turn up for last year’s Play Off final. The normal order of the world will soon be resumed as burnley drift off into obscurity, left with only memories of their short time in the top flight (Owen “God” Coyle leaving for a ‘bigger club’, Steve “Mr burnley” Davis ditto, losing at Bolton, losing at Ewood, shipping 4 at Liverpool, 5 at Tottenham, West Ham and Villa – losing 10 games out of 13 since the turn of the year, quite possibly breaking the record for having the lowest points total away from home in the history of the Premier League... it's been quite an adventure all in all)

Barring something very unpleasant and unexpected, with the wind in the right direction, without wanting to count my chickens, touch wood, all being well, we should be safe (was that enough caveats?). Next season will / should be our 10th consecutive season in the top flight and seventeen seasons for us in the top division out of the last nineteen. That really is some achievement. Three points over there will practically guarantee it.

We are the most successful Town Club in England, let alone Lancashire. They were just saying hello.

Prediction? We'll sneak it 1-0.

[chocky]

Very good preview...I'm going for 3-0...The lads will be up for this even though most of the players are not even British..But when you are down there it is very hard to get a result...But we will do it...

[ABBEY]

THIS IS ONE GAME I DONT CARE HOW WE PLAY AS LONG AS WE WIN ....LOSING IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!!!! 0-2

[Ben-2000]

Defeat is not an option Rovers.

Great preview btw.

COYB

[sambo]

Absolutely effin' sublime. One of my favourite reads on here. LEGEND.!

[Ossydave]

Bloody superb Bob

I just want to fast forward now to next Sunday.

[sambo]

Anyone on coach 16?

[LDRover]

Fantastic stuff as usual Bob.

There'll be plenty of Trill going cheap (no pun intended) in the Burnley pubs come Sunday night and the local glaziers will have overtime aplenty.

[unluckymorton]

"They were just saying hello."

Brilliant stuff Bob.

[SIMON GARNERS 194]

Dare to 'throw one in' away from home in this fixture Rovers and there will be hell to play.

2-1 Rovers....we smash THE nail in their coffin.

[Baz]

Brilliant as ever Mr Fleming!

[den]

Fleming - you're my hero.

I always remember your monthly reviews - and this is just as good.

Wonderful stuff Robert.

[Hughesy]

Great preview!

Dingles Fans worried

Taken from Dingle mad.....

"It's gonna be pure Hell for them as they pick up the easiest away points they've taken all season and drive the last nail into our coffin at the same time. The poor loves. I don't know how they'll handle it.

Next week will be agony for us. Make no mistake about that."

[Anti-Dingle-Brigade]

I'm a bit concerned that it's looking a bit 'too easy', everything is pointing to a Rovers win. And that usually means...

I'd take a draw to keep our record going. But it'd be nice to do a Wigan and break their hearts at the end.

[Ozz]

CONTAINS NO STROBE LIGHTING, And Some Mild Peril, and a couple of swear words.

[philipl]

Great stuff Bob!

The dingles have lost their three must not lose games= Pompey, Wolves and Wigan. So they are going to be like a wild gerbil for this one.

[Claytons Left Boot]

Great preview Bob.

They won't score, we'll score one.

Buhnlah tourists - just came up for a look.

[ABBEY]

Ticket sorted!

[BRFC Casuals]

Fantastic preview Bob Thank you Cant wait for this one im starting erm work at 7:40 am on Sunday and as the clocks will have just gone forward it will feel like 6:40am dont know which coach im on yet but if anyone brings any stella (or any other popular lager) with them i will have to take it of them and erm look after it for them ...........maybe im on coach 16 time to get down the sellin out shop Sambo

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

I'm glad we're all so confident. I'll reserve judgment until I see how many first team players survive our next two games. I wouldn't want to go there with half a team.

[Ste B]

Anyone on coach 16?

56 people, and a driver !

(Including me actually)

[sambo]

56 people, and a driver !

(Including me actually)

See you there... group of young lads, hopefully with a large home made banner!

[1864roverite]

Bob

you lighten my day sometimes, what a tremendous read.

I am on coach 29, will have had a couple of breakfast tinnies, a macdonalds brekkie washed down with a couple of v and o's pre match.

Derby week is special for me, I DETEST THE B'SATRDS. Just a pity we have Brum to interupt the build up.

Following on from todays result Rovers showed the world what a good footballing team they can be, even Waggymust have choked on hispint watching Chelsea hoof the ball forward !

Burnley may well be up for it and it will be tight.

Rovers 1-0.

[rovgers]

Did anybody notice what it said at the game today about watching the Dingle game at the Blues bar? I'm sure it said something about needing a ticket, I couldn't get a ticket for turd more and I thought this would be the next best thing.

[stuwilky]

Did anybody notice what it said at the game today about watching the Dingle game at the Blues bar? I'm sure it said something about needing a ticket, I couldn't get a ticket for turd more and I thought this would be the next best thing.

Something about £2 per ticket, but includes a pint. Possibly!