[Archived] Sam On Twitter

[adopted scouser]

There are loads of fake twitter accounts out there,Mike Ashley, Capello etc, but his one had me doubled over. The link to this Liverpool site has quoted the best ones.

Enjoy > http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=256526.0

"Dioufy in trouble with the cops again. I've warned him if he doesn't settle down then I'll just cancel the adoption proceedings

Big Sam won't have no tearaway as a son. If he's in this country he can behave properly. Otherwise, he can ###### off back to India"

[broadsword]

That just had me in fits. The lad who asked if it was real! Then the story about chalking his knob with a creme egg and potting cans of baked beans.

[T4E]

I'm actually in pain from trying to stifle my laughter. Superb.

Direct link -

http://twitter.com/TheBig_Sam

[adopted scouser]

Tears rolling down my face here, think I'm gonna hurt myself

Allardyce - "Drove up to see how big Phil Brown is getting on over the weekend. Just wanted to check up on him really. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. He was lying in a a filthy old bath tub in his back garden, loudly reciting chapters from 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'. He saw me & started roaring like a Lion. Shouted: "Bow to Aslan! Bow to Aslan, you fat f***ing poof!". His eyes were the eyes of the devil. I tried to calm him down but he leapt out of the bath, yelled "f**k the Poll Tax" and ran off into the field behind his house. On all fours."

[The Gull]

Tears rolling down my face here, think I'm gonna hurt myself

Allardyce - "Drove up to see how big Phil Brown is getting on over the weekend. Just wanted to check up on him really. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. He was lying in a a filthy old bath tub in his back garden, loudly reciting chapters from 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'. He saw me & started roaring like a Lion. Shouted: "Bow to Aslan! Bow to Aslan, you fat f***ing poof!". His eyes were the eyes of the devil. I tried to calm him down but he leapt out of the bath, yelled "f**k the Poll Tax" and ran off into the field behind his house. On all fours."

The lad who does it is a Liverpool fan, a friend of mine knows him from the forums.

Absolute genius, yet disturbing at times!

[T4E]

Watching France v Mexico. That Dos Santos fella looks like Beyonce. Big Sam is feeling very sexually confused right now.

9:12 PM Jun 17th via Twitter for iPhone

[American Rover12]

"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name," Mick Jagger once sang. No need to guess mine. It's Big Sam.

[jodrell]

Mark Lawrenson is as funny as a c**k in a trouser press. His hair looks like a thatched roof as well.