[Archived] Anyone for a sandwich?

[bob fleming]

Maybe this should go in the united thread. Whatever...

What a day that was. “Seven one. Seven bloody one”. Anyone remember that Ripping Yarns sketch? Barnstoneworth United took a right hiding didn’t they? Yesterday it was our turn.

In fact - here it is 3 mins in.

“Unluckymorten” (or in his case “Lucky” Morten - that you missed playing in the game – your stock has risen immeasurably by simply not being associated with yesterdays shambles) from this here messageboard was extremely kind enough to secure us some tickets for the game. Freebies. Well in that case it would be rude not to go. My policy of “never going there ever again” went out the window in a flash. I wasn’t giving them any money so where was the harm?

We arrived at the Copthorne Hotel in good time and met our hosts. We had an extremely pleasant meal and two drinks before the match. Two drinks. It was as far removed from the normal Ewood Fox and Hounds match day experience as you can imagine. Personally I prefer our “facility” to the Copthorne “facility” (that’s what they called it) but there you go.

And then onto the Stretford End.

Oh. Oh dear.

Why have I come here? Why didn’t I remember the sheer arrogance of these people? From the lass who derided ex referee Dermot Gallagher for wanting a free programme “we don’t really like ex referees!” (the belief clearly being that United are hard done to (Can you believe that!?!?!), through to the songs.

The songs. “U-N-I T-E-D” something and something or other they sing. I tried to block it out. The second line though to that I’m sure goes on about Gary Neville having VD. Which isn’t very pleasant and giving my surroundings and the fact he wasn’t playing I didn’t think it appropriate to sing it.

Then there’s the one about “We’ve won it three times – without killing anyone” which is just wrong on so many levels.

But my own personal favourite “We do what we want, We do what we waa-ant, We're Man United, We do what we want”. This probably needs explaining to me to be honest. Does it mean they’re above the law? Or is it said in a foot stamping petulant 4 year old stylee? Maybe both. Who cares? It’s odious.

By this time I’d had enough of all this crap and wanted to leave.

Then the game kicked off.

The lass behind me, in all fairness, was supporting her team by singing at the top of her voice. Fair play to her. However it didn’t help. 1 – 0 after 2 seconds. “Oh great, can I go now?”. Goulon may as well have been sat with me. Although his knees would probably suffer – there wasn’t much leg room. 2-0 – “What are they doing?”. 3 – 0. “Oh that was just pathetic Chimbonda”. My lack of celebrations or even a smile has no doubt given me away by now. Right that’s me. 3.30. I’m off for a pint.

“We’re doing great today aren’t we!!” Enquired the chirpy, friendly barman. “Yes I think you’ll get another two as well second half” I said giving away my allegiances again. He didn’t laugh too loud at me in all fairness.

Two pints. Decision made. “We’re leaving at half time”. We’d had enough. 4 – 0. “How do we get out of here!?”. Outside now “5-0” oh ffs. Various Rovers fans outside all doing the same.

We’d all seen enough.

Then the texts start coming in. Man U obviously explaining that he can’t wait to see me Monday. Liverpool – “Are you still there? Ha ha”. Even my wife, quite correctly, had a dig: “Had your prawn sandwiches yet?”

I’m moaning, no doubt about that, I realise that I didn’t have to pay £42 for the privilege, but if I ever set foot in that place ever again then you have my permission to give me a hard slap *

(* doesn't include Cup semi finals. And not too hard.)

[whittle blue]

Very funny post Bob Fleming.

That's lifted my spirit (and hangover).

[Majiball]

Quality as always Mr Fleming.

[unluckymorton]

Very well put Bob. At least we got something out of yesterdays 'experience', it was a gentle reminder never tho go to that hell hole ever again.

It was however surprising to see how many more Rovers fans were in the Stretford End!

[Gav]

Great stuff Bob