[Archived] Blackburn Rovers v Manchester United

[bob fleming]

Barclays Premier League. Ewood Park. Saturday 14 May 2011 (16 years later). 12.45.

The last home match of the season. The penultimate preview of the season therefore and the standard of the previews has been superb.

So I've tried to lower that standard and this is a little different and off the wall I think you'll find. Sadly as suspected when I volunteered to do this back in March this is a massive game that will shape the future of our beloved football club.

We’ve done it all to death now haven’t we? How we got here and what happened. How we somehow missed out on signing Ronaldinho, Beckham, Kaka and Maradona (and how they missed out on playing for our manager) and before that, Raul and Guti. How we got rid of Sam, John Williams, Roar and Roarinho, sorry Roarina, or whatever she/it was called. It’s odds on that next season our mascot will be a bloke dressed up as a blue and white chicken; with his beak and legs cut off and sat on the Blackburn End running track and forced to eat bird seed for 90 minutes.

This is the reverse fixture of the game at Old Trafford. A nothing game really, notable for being one of Allardyce’s last and for a fantastic Chris Samba goal. We scored last in that game, unfortunately it wasn't “next goal wins” that day so we did indeed get beat 7 – 1.

Monday 2 May. The news finally filters through to the White House that Steve Kean had been given a two and a half year contract.

Since his appointment Steve has made more trips in and out of India than Ghandi and on the 1st April he stated (after his latest trip to meet our Chicken Overlords) that “relegation wasn't even discussed”. Please note the date.

Those viewers who aren’t chickens will also recall our game against Manchester United back in 1999. I’m not going to dwell on that too much either (you know what happened) but the parallels are all there. Regrettably it does appear that Roque Santa Cruz has been struck down with Ashleyward Syndrome.

Some Stats I've Made Up:

•Since taking over as Manager of Manchester United in September 1978 Sir Alex Ferguson has not uttered a single word in praise of another football team.

•Under the Government’s Public House Landlord Act 1976; 75% of all UK Pub Landlords must be Manchester United fans. 95% in the case of Relief Landlords.

•Ryan Giggs isn’t illegitimate and he does have a birth certificate.

•99.9% of Manchester United fans have never been in Sir Alex Ferguson. Sorry, not Sir Alex Ferguson, Old Trafford.

•Eric Cantona falling into the crowd at Crystal Palace didn’t lose United the title in 1995. The main culprits were Blackburn Rovers who were top of the league in November 1994 and remained there until being crowned champions on 14th May 1995. Alan Shearer scored a goal every ten minutes that season and Tim Flowers let only 6 goals in.

•When Manchester United win the league this season they have re-commissioned Paul Hardcastle’s hit “19” as it will be the, er, erm 19th time they will have won the title (clever stuff eh?). Both events will be incredibly @#/?.

That’s why what we achieved in 1995 when we beat United to the title was so special, we never saw it coming. I mean four years ago we had Shefki Kuqi playing for us, now we have Vince Grella (according to the official squad list). But back then, before Jack, Kenny and Ray came in and things changed, we had Mark Atkins playing for us, we won the league four years later after “buying the title” with Mark Atkins playing for us. Still let's not let facts get in the way of a cliché (Jason Wilcox: Youth Team, Atkins: £45K, Tony Gale: Free, Alan Shearer: £8 billion).

Which leads me somewhat erratically to the songs. Now I can't be doing with Man U, never liked 'em. I'm firmly in the ABMU club (in case you feel the need to Google that it stands for "Anyone But Man Utd" - not the "Abertawe Bro Morgannwg University Health Board", I’ve no problem with them.).

There is one song that they sing though in "Giggs, will tear you apart, again" which is nicely done but annoying. Annoying in that it's an absolute classic Joy Division song (Love Will Tear Us Apart of course), as I'm sure most of you with ears are aware but I just wish we'd thought of it first.

Joy Division were fronted by Ian Curtis, who committed suicide in 1980, suffering from epilepsy, a complicated love life and depression. The rest of the band, Salford dwellers Bernard Sumner, Peter Hook and Macc Lad Stephen Morris, went on to form another great band in New Order.

So in my attempt to piece this to some sort of semblance of relevance to the Rovers and create quite possibly the most tenuous link ever written, it could be argued that Blackburn Rovers committed suicide 30 years later, on 19 November 2010 when The Trust sold the club to Venky's. The main difference being though that unlike poor Ian who hung himself in his kitchen one evening, Rovers are doing it over a much longer period of time.

A more fitting Joy Division song for Rovers fans to adopt as an ode to Venky’s Chairwoman Mrs Desai is “She’s Lost Control”.

“Confusion in her eyes that says it all.

She's lost control.

And she's clinging to the nearest passer by,

She's lost control.

And she gave away the secrets of her past,

And said I've lost control again,

And of a voice that told her when and where to act,

She said I've lost control again.”

Anyway, I’d better get back to the football before this spirals completely out of control and I upset someone… which I will have done of course.

A chicken: looking a bit shifty

So bring on Saturday.

Ewood will no doubt be packed to the rafters. 8,000 United fans, another 40,000 in home areas. A win will see us safe, it’s a simple as that now. We would also have the added bonus of delaying United’s title win. What more could we possibly want?

Alternatively we’ll draw or lose and United will win the league at Ewood and we'll be right in the mix for the dreaded drop. It doesn’t get any worse than that - sadly that’s the bookies favourite.

The stakes don't get any higher than this. So let's shout until we're hoarse and get behind the lads again for the last time at Ewood this season.

[JMillZz]

Great preview.

I'd hate to see them win the league at Ewood.

How good would a 90th minute winner feel?

[SIMON GARNERS 194]

For me personally its a horrible way to end our home games at Ewood.8,000+ of those Red jokers living it up and taking the pish while we scrap for our survival.....keep your tickets at any price but sadly for most folk everything has a price and we'll no doubt see Utd fans all over the ground!.Add to that the media back scuttling 'Fergies boys' left right and centre and:

A grand day out I think not....Rovers 1 Utd 2

Att: 30,100

Nice preview Bob.

[John Howarth]

Barclays Premier League. Ewood Park. Saturday 14 May 2011 (16 years later). 12.45.

The last home match of the season. The penultimate preview of the season therefore and the standard of the previews has been superb.

So I've tried to lower that standard and this is a little different and off the wall I think you'll find. Sadly as suspected when I volunteered to do this back in March this is a massive game that will shape the future of our beloved football club.

We’ve done it all to death now haven’t we? How we got here and what happened. How we somehow missed out on signing Ronaldinho, Beckham, Kaka and Maradona (and how they missed out on playing for our manager) and before that, Raul and Guti. How we got rid of Sam, John Williams, Roar and Roarinho, sorry Roarina, or whatever she/it was called. It’s odds on that next season our mascot will be a bloke dressed up as a blue and white chicken; with his beak and legs cut off and sat on the Blackburn End running track and forced to eat bird seed for 90 minutes.

How many season ticket holders will sell their tickets for this game just as happened on 7th May 2000?

This is the reverse fixture of the game at Old Trafford. A nothing game really, notable for being one of Allardyce’s last and for a fantastic Chris Samba goal. We scored last in that game, unfortunately it wasn't “next goal wins” that day so we did indeed get beat 7 – 1.

Monday 2 May. The news finally filters through to the White House that Steve Kean had been given a two and a half year contract.

Since his appointment Steve has made more trips in and out of India than Ghandi and on the 1st April he stated (after his latest trip to meet our Chicken Overlords) that “relegation wasn't even discussed”. Please note the date.

Those viewers who aren’t chickens will also recall our game against Manchester United back in 1999. I’m not going to dwell on that too much either (you know what happened) but the parallels are all there. Regrettably it does appear that Roque Santa Cruz has been struck down with Ashleyward Syndrome.

Some Stats I've Made Up:

•Since taking over as Manager of Manchester United in September 1978 Sir Alex Ferguson has not uttered a single word in praise of another football team.

•Under the Government’s Public House Landlord Act 1976; 75% of all UK Pub Landlords must be Manchester United fans. 95% in the case of Relief Landlords.

•Ryan Giggs isn’t illegitimate and he does have a birth certificate.

•99.9% of Manchester United fans have never been in Sir Alex Ferguson. Sorry, not Sir Alex Ferguson, Old Trafford.

•Eric Cantona falling into the crowd at Crystal Palace didn’t lose United the title in 1995. The main culprits were Blackburn Rovers who were top of the league in November 1994 and remained there until being crowned champions on 14th May 1995. Alan Shearer scored a goal every ten minutes that season and Tim Flowers let only 6 goals in.

•When Manchester United win the league this season they have re-commissioned Paul Hardcastle’s hit “19” as it will be the, er, erm 19th time they will have won the title (clever stuff eh?). Both events will be incredibly @#/?.

That’s why what we achieved in 1995 when we beat United to the title was so special, we never saw it coming. I mean four years ago we had Shefki Kuqi playing for us, now we have Vince Grella (according to the official squad list). But back then, before Jack, Kenny and Ray came in and things changed, we had Mark Atkins playing for us, we won the league four years later after “buying the title” with Mark Atkins playing for us. Still let's not let facts get in the way of a cliché (Jason Wilcox: Youth Team, Atkins: £45K, Tony Gale: Free, Alan Shearer: £8 billion).

Which leads me somewhat erratically to the songs. Now I can't be doing with Man U, never liked 'em. I'm firmly in the ABMU club (in case you feel the need to Google that it stands for "Anyone But Man Utd" - not the "Abertawe Bro Morgannwg University Health Board", I’ve no problem with them.).

There is one song that they sing though in "Giggs, will tear you apart, again" which is nicely done but annoying. Annoying in that it's an absolute classic Joy Division song (Love Will Tear Us Apart of course), as I'm sure most of you with ears are aware but I just wish we'd thought of it first.

Joy Division were fronted by Ian Curtis, who committed suicide in 1980, suffering from epilepsy, a complicated love life and depression. The rest of the band, Salford dwellers Bernard Sumner, Peter Hook and Macc Lad Stephen Morris, went on to form another great band in New Order.

So in my attempt to piece this to some sort of semblance of relevance to the Rovers and create quite possibly the most tenuous link ever written, it could be argued that Blackburn Rovers committed suicide 30 years later, on 19 November 2010 when The Trust sold the club to Venky's. The main difference being though that unlike poor Ian who hung himself in his kitchen one evening, Rovers are doing it over a much longer period of time.

A more fitting Joy Division song for Rovers fans to adopt as an ode to Venky’s Chairwoman Mrs Desai is “She’s Lost Control”.

“Confusion in her eyes that says it all.

She's lost control.

And she's clinging to the nearest passer by,

She's lost control.

And she gave away the secrets of her past,

And said I've lost control again,

And of a voice that told her when and where to act,

She said I've lost control again.”

Anyway, I’d better get back to the football before this spirals completely out of control and I upset someone… which I will have done of course.

A chicken: looking a bit shifty

So bring on Saturday.

Ewood will no doubt be packed to the rafters. 8,000 United fans, another 40,000 in home areas. A win will see us safe, it’s a simple as that now. We would also have the added bonus of delaying United’s title win. What more could we possibly want?

Alternatively we’ll draw or lose and United will win the league at Ewood and we'll be right in the mix for the dreaded drop. It doesn’t get any worse than that - sadly that’s the bookies favourite.

The stakes don't get any higher than this. So let's shout until we're hoarse and get behind the lads again for the last time at Ewood this season.

[Mattyblue]

It’s odds on that next season our mascot will be a bloke dressed up as a blue and white chicken; with his beak and legs cut off and sat on the Blackburn End running track and forced to eat bird seed for 90 minutes.

I don't often actually LOL, but that was an exception.

You never fail to deliver bob

[chocky]

Some fans would sell their souls for a few quid..1-1..

[chris]

I'm going for Rovers 0 Man U 4

after the Sam sackng I think Sire Alex will want to embarrass us (again).

I hope its not more then 4 goals, the less goals conceded the better.

[Gav]

Fabulous Mr Fleming, you’re lost cleaning the town centre bogs I tell you.

[roversmum]

I ordered an extra ticket for my daughter who is coming home from university for the match and got a letter with the ticket:

"where they can be identified visiting supporters will be prevented from gaining access to home areas at the turnstiles even if they are in possession of a valid match ticket. Any visiting fans that do gain entry will be ejected upon discovery providing that it is safe to do so. In addition we will be attempting to trace the originalbuyer of any seats occupied by visiting fans. Where we can do so such individuals will be banned from buying tickets for future home games.

Great preview, Bob. It will be an endurance test for fans and players.

[BlueWhiteDynamite]

Very Very Funny. Great Preview.

[Mercer]

Great preview.

They will obviously be brimming full of confidence and even in my heart, let alone my head, can feel nothing other than a comprehensive defeat. I feel that it will have to be damage limitation.

Note the comments from Roversmum "where they can be identified visiting supporters will be prevented from gaining access to home areas at the turnstiles even if they are in possession of a valid match ticket. Any visiting fans that do gain entry will be ejected upon discovery providing that it is safe to do so. In addition we will be attempting to trace the originalbuyer of any seats occupied by visiting fans. Where we can do so such individuals will be banned from buying tickets for future home games".

This is wishful thinking and we've heard it all before and seen that in practice it just does not happen. I've little doubt that there will be at least 1,000 reds in Jack Walker stand. Inside an hour and a half, I've had three offers for my tickets and you are talking very serious money which, unfortunately, some Rovers' supporters will find hard to resist owing to individual circumstances.

[Josh]

We got a 0-0 draw against them at Ewood last season while they where still fighting for the title, albeit with a capable manager. If our players stick to the game plan given and with a bit of luck, I don't see why we can't get a draw once again

[Guest roverite1991]

Great preview.

They will obviously be brimming full of confidence and even in my heart, let alone my head, can feel nothing other than a comprehensive defeat. I feel that it will have to be damage limitation.

Note the comments from Roversmum "where they can be identified visiting supporters will be prevented from gaining access to home areas at the turnstiles even if they are in possession of a valid match ticket. Any visiting fans that do gain entry will be ejected upon discovery providing that it is safe to do so. In addition we will be attempting to trace the originalbuyer of any seats occupied by visiting fans. Where we can do so such individuals will be banned from buying tickets for future home games".

This is wishful thinking and we've heard it all before and seen that in practice it just does not happen. I've little doubt that there will be at least 1,000 reds in Jack Walker stand. Inside an hour and a half, I've had three offers for my tickets and you are talking very serious money which, unfortunately, some Rovers' supporters will find hard to resist owing to individual circumstances.

I've seen this happen at no less than 3 home games featuring Utd since 2005 and equated to roughly 20 utd fans. Also happened when Liverpool came to Ewood the year we beat them 1-0 on boxing day. Think it was 2005 or 2006.

[RevidgeBlue]

Inside an hour and a half, I've had three offers for my tickets and you are talking very serious money which, unfortunately, some Rovers' supporters will find hard to resist owing to individual circumstances.

It's such an important game for us as well I really can't see that being a major problem.

Can't wait for anyone to ask me then I can take great delight in telling them to shove it up their fat chavvy Manc ****.

[Glenn]

Fantastic Preview Mr F.

[Kelbo]

My biggest concern will be that United will field a weakend team, so it should be easy, they will bring in Fletcher, Scholes, the other twin at left back and Ber4batov!!!!

[tashor]

My biggest concern will be that United will field a weakend team, so it should be easy, they will bring in Fletcher, Scholes, the other twin at left back and Ber4batov!!!!

I hope they play their strongest side - we will lose either way but hopefully help Barcelona win t'chuuumpions leeeeeeeeeeeg by "encouraging" a couple of the mancs to depart Ewood horizontally after grand tackles by the likes of Jones/Givet/Samba.

[den]

Great preview Mr Fleming.

Is it really 5 years since we did THESE.? They are still worth a read. Fabulous stuff. - "Kuqi rises like a dirty great big eagle on helium"

A big thank you to bob Fleming.

[Hughesy]

There will be loads of Mancs at this one....already sold out their allocation, I know have several mancs asking for tickets. Looks to me like it will be City promotion season all over again....I just hope we stop their party.

[AggyBlue]

What sort of money are they offering?

[Hughesy]

What sort of money are they offering?

£200 from the lads I know.....Which I dont understand as you can get Darwen End tickets for £117 on a website...

I remember City @ Home, I was offered £250 per ticket for every ticket I could get this guy, and he wanted 14 tickets....

[chris]

i think this is worse song I've ever hear and it has 4,000,000 hits

you sure have bad taste in music Bob

[Steve Moss]

The stakes don't get any higher than this. So let's shout until we're hoarse and get behind the lads again for the last time at Ewood this season.

Best thing we can do for the squad. I'll do my best to make sure they can hear me in Ewood despite being in San Diego that particular weekend.

[philipl]

Brilliant preview.

Vinjay's wet dream in one game- no more Walkers and Fergie lifting the Premier League trophy at Ewood.

[Mozzer]

man utd winning has certainly helped us - in the fact man utd wont becoming out to hammer us - a draw would win them the title - and a draw would be a great result for us ...i dont think we will get hammered and hope we put in a good performance