Gary Speed

[chocky]

A tragedy. Just when you think a man has everything, a great job he's successful in, a great wife and family and pots of money he goes and takes his life. Just show none of us knows what really goes on inside Someone else's head and how they are suffering inside. God blesss Gary we'll give you great respects tonight.

[A cup of beans]

i was stunned when i heard about speed. my heart goes out to his family. sometimes words aren't enough.

a very emotional 606, with robbie savage and darren fletcher, is well worth a listen...

some great memories. its extremely moving, but a very fitting tribute!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/606

also.. kind regards to those on here that have, or are currently suffering with depression.

i like many members, am always available.. if needed.

Edited November 29, 2011 by zaccaius

[DE.]

Would also like to add I'm available to talk to if anybody feels the need... somebody very close to me has suffered with bouts of depression and I've learned the hard way how to best advise and deal with it as an outsider. She's on the mend now but went through some very dark times, she's said before that if she hadn't confided in me she isn't sure she'd be here now. It's always worth talking and there is always someone willing to listen... it's a good place, this, so plenty of fantastic people to get in contact with. Nobody has to suffer alone.

[Mike Graham]

i suffer from depression from time time, sometimes i even think about the S word but i would never do it as i know of the heartache and distress it would cause my family if i did, i also have thoughts that maybe there a happier times around the corner so that keeps me going, i either have real highs or real lows, just something that you cant help, i think boredome plays a big part too.

roverandout: it must have been difficult saying what you did. There are a lot of people out there, and clearly on this Board judging by the above responses, who have similar challenges. There are plenty of decent folk out there who are willing to listen and not be judgemental, and who really do care about mental illness and do not see it as a "weakness" or whatever. Some people on the this Board appear to have made some decent offers, don't be afraid to ask for help. and......COYB!

[eire3382]

What ever happened to drive Gary Speed to this point is, well words probably don't do it justice. We all know someone who is/was suffering from this. People say, how did no one notice, but thats not the point. What really matters is that people who are stuck in this situation must be made aware that there is help out there. And yes many people do not realise (want to admitt) they are depressed. The stigma around this must change so the next Gary Speed will not believe there is only one way out. Like everything else, talking about the issue is the first step. Also in a week/month we must not forget about the living who are suffering. I'm not qualified to help anyone but have absolutely no problem listening and helping talk things through.

This is a tradgedy but is pales when you consider the millions who suffer with depression on a daily basis and believe they are alone.

In life there are highs and lows, the next high could be a mere minute away.

[T4E]

In a strange way this thread has made me smile today.

[greco]

while talking about depression and what not, i too suffer from this ordeal, i know our reasons differ and mine is existentialism. Cant quite grasp the copncept of life, when we are all "doomed"

to roversandout and other who might suffer, this might sound corny or simple for that matter, but something that helps me is intense training. Im not talking about running your shoes to pieces and being by yourslef while training. Im talking about joining a club, where the training is really intense, but also with a social enviroment thats suitable.

I´ve personally found my "home", at first it was boxing, but have now switched to to mma. Its intense, so intense you wont have the energy to think about mood swings and all the crap thats going on. After the sessions you are still so tired, that you cant ponder about the hardships of life, you just want to relax and enjoy some piece of mind.

I strongly recommend exercise for depressions and especially boxing or mma. Sure they might seem like tough and brutaæ guys, some are, but they are in general easy going. After you´ve done some rounds of sparring, a friendship is already built.

On that note, im off to try out my first wrestling class.

Take care my fellow rovers fans and rip mister speed.

Edited November 29, 2011 by greco

[ben_the_beast]

What has happened with Gary Speed has left me like many others quite distressed. Every football fan or at least a vast majority have had dreams of walking out onto the pitch for their team. Scoring that winning goal at Wembley. Living the dream and etching your name into the history of your club.

As a result we all feel a connection with many footballers, especially with those of Gary Speeds ilk. A deep association of what his life may have been like and ultimately, what your life (or at least your fantasy life) could have been like. For me it brings back memories of seeing what happened to Marc Vivien-Foe on the pitch for Cameroon. Personally I worked incredibly hard in my quest to become a footballer. Ultimately I didn't make it but thinking about how hard he must have worked to achieve his dream, then having everything snatched away from him in such a cruel manner saddens me deeply. There are many terrible things which happen in the world but I feel I naturally empathize (rightly or wrongly) slightly more easily with these deaths, just through the joint association of a love for football and that dream.

Now obviously what has happened with Gary Speed is a very different scenario but that association I feel still remains. That feeling that in some obscure way you knew him and the path he took. As I said for him to then take his own life I find highly distressing. Personally I am yet to truly come to terms with my own mortality. I imagine it will be a very long time coming too but it is in my opinion a path which everyone must take. I am not ashamed though to admit the thought of death still scares me and seeing such a familiar face such as Gary Speed pass away has definitely had an impact upon me. Forcing me to think about that aspect of life which I so often avoid. It remains incomprehensible to me how he has felt this was his only way out. For this to have happened is in every sense a tragedy. I disagree with anybody gossiping as to the nature of his death (as I have found in the "real world"). What everybody can agree on though, is that Gary Speed seemed a good man. He does not deserve his name to be tainted and personally feel it should be lain to rest. Depression is a very misunderstood condition which sadly even in the modern society which we live continues to take lives.

Gary Speed. I truly hope that in some sense your soul has found peace.

[Tom]

Off topic but so sad to hear about a 12 year old from Burnley committing suicide, horrible stuff.

[Paul Mellelieu]

Indeed. One only has to pick up a newspaper to see people with much bigger problems than one's own. A sense of perspective must be a key factor.

For someone suffering from depression this is no advice at all.

[T4E]

Please don't use this as a place to renew old rivalries. Let it go.

[DeadlyDirk]

RIP Gary, a model professional, very sad to hear the news, one of the few players who have never played for Rovers that as a kid I stopped and took the time to get the autograph of, still have it today from him in one of the old Leeds kits.

I do have to say though, there has been a lot of talk about him suffering from depression and I may well be behind but has this been confirmed at all or are people just putting 2 and 2 together? I don't want to speak ill of the dead and certainly not without any knowledge whatsoever of the man's private life, I myself would also assume it's related to some kind of long term depression but there are other reasons why someone may choose to take their own life.

[T4E]

Fair question Dirk. The more I think about this the harder I find it to know what to think. Someone posted on Twitter earlier that they find it hard to applaud someone that chose to die and leave two young sons behind. I can definitely understand people feeling that way.

Until more comes out its hard to know what to make of it.

[DeadlyDirk]

Fair question Dirk. The more I think about this the harder I find it to know what to think. Someone posted on Twitter earlier that they find it hard to applaud someone that chose to die and leave two young sons behind. I can definitely understand people feeling that way.

Until more comes out its hard to know what to make of it.

It is just a very messy situation and yes leaving children and a wife behind makes it even more difficult to understand. I think it just goes to show what kind of bloke Gary was as people have automatically assumed it's some kind of depression as it's the only one that really makes any sense at all.

The only reason I asked is because unfortunately I knew someone who took his own life a few years back. I am not for one second suggesting that this might be a similiar situation to Gary Speed's, just that there are other options and that we do not know the whole story and perhaps never will.

He wasn't particularly a friend, just someone you know from about town when you grow up. But anyway he took a trip down to Cardiff (Ironic as we're playing them) lost reportedly over 15k at a casino there and took his own life in the hotel room and never returned home. People assumed it was because he couldn't bare to tell his wife what he had done. She found out when she got the bank statements, he'd not even been a gambler before either apparantley, just made a very stupid choice that he couldn't live with, now I'm sure he was depressed about the situation but that's a different kind of depression than mentally suffering from it.

All in all it's just very sad this has happened whatever the circumstances or reasons, thoughts go out to his family.

[Andy]

You're absolutely right - as far I know, people are just assuming that Gary suffered from depression, but there are a number of reasons why somebody might opt to take their own life.

Doesn't stop it from being extremely sad, of course.

[Darwen Rover]

I find it amazing that so many people assume wealth should equate to happiness... It's just totally not the case unfortunately soceity has made us all into capital materialists...

50 yrs ago success was respect due to ethical values...

[Amo]

You're absolutely right - as far I know, people are just assuming that Gary suffered from depression, but there are a number of reasons why somebody might opt to take their own life.

You can never know another. His close friends obviously didn't know him well enough due to the utter shellshock of his suicide. For the man to be pushed to suicide, there was obviously something untoward going on in his life. I wouldn't like to speculate but we shouldn't make assumptions about someone merely based on their public image.

[Audax]

http://www.independent.ie/opinion/letters/right-way-to-remember-gary-speed-2949399.html

Some fair ideas here:

Many local towns have been devastated by a series of suicides in relatively quick succession. There is little doubt that 'copy-cat' suicides have occurred as vulnerable youths see suicide as a way out with the likelihood of a massive outpouring of grief and their names being always remembered locally due to the tragic events.

Copy cat? We don't know about that 12 year old but it is strongly coincidental at this point.

This reminds me some of the Kurt Cobain suicide, founder of the Nirvana rock band.

RIP, Gary Speed

[Stuart]

Off topic but so sad to hear about a 12 year old from Burnley committing suicide, horrible stuff.

Awful. Went to school in Blackburn.

[Hughesy]

Yeah little lad went to Wilfreds and was being bullied.

No doubt he saw what Speed did and thought about the same......just goes to show they should think how their actions can affect others.

RIP little lad

[BuckyRover]

Yeah little lad went to Wilfreds and was being bullied.

No doubt he saw what Speed did and thought about the same......just goes to show they should think how their actions can affect others.

RIP little lad

Logical thinking doesn't usually play much part in suicide. That's why it is a problem.

[Audax]

Bringing this topic back up, I just don't get it now that an investigator is saying he is not positive that Mr. Speed's death was an intentional suicide. Respectfully, this is a shocking story that somehow, one wants to make some sort of sense about, saying he was depressed or summat like that.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2094096/Gary-Speed-inquest-Wife-slept-car-hours-death.html?ITO=1490

Has anyone heard anything or have any observations?

[Paul]

I'm not sure what you're point is? An inquest has been held, a narrative verdict reached (nothing untoward about that) and a newspaper has reported it in a balanced manner.

The only remark I would make is if an "exchange of words" about "something and nothing" occurred in my marriage it wouldn't result in one party blocking the exit or the other walking out. That strikes me as odd but then every relationship is different and some more volatile than others. I would expect to recall the detail of a row serious enough to prompt those actions.

[ABBEY]

Not disrespecting anyone here but ain't it strange how he's being turned into a martyr and everyone had a minutes silence for him , yet Gary Ablett died of a horrible nasty disease and no silence or bigging his life up .

[Paul]

You're not the only one thinking that. The number of times we are asked to stand in silence has for me devalued the tribute.