[Archived] The all new Super Steve 'Coco' Kean Thread!

[mark1875]

60 seconds with steve kean

(warning, he goes on for 275 seconds lol)

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/video/18042012/58/60-seconds-steve-kean.html

[philipl]

Kean is there watching the game.

Yes true- Steve Kean went on a jolly as a guest of Real Madrid to watch the Champions League semi-final in Munich last night.

He was scouting Ronaldo for the Championship side on the instruction's of Balaji's Brazilian side kick....

Oh sorry, I forgot, relegation is impossible. Therefore who needs to prepare for Saturday's game?

[Amo]

Yes true- Steve Kean went on a jolly as a guest of Real Madrid to watch the Champions League semi-final in Munich last night.

He was scouting Ronaldo for the Championship side on the instruction's of Balaji's Brazilian side kick....

Oh sorry, I forgot, relegation is impossible. Therefore who needs to prepare for Saturday's game?

The less time Kean spends at the training ground the better.

[JMillZz]

Martin Blackburn and Henry Winter seem to have little time for Kean's verbal garbage.

Blackburn said, if covering the Norwich game, he will try and probe Kean on a few questions.

I hope he manages to weasel something out to him before Agnew steps in. I really want his words to come back to haunt him and see him humiliated in the nationals. Fed up of him getting away with every BS thing he says.

On a side note, I am doing a charity hike for Meningitis Trust. I vow to take a "KEAN OUT" and/or "VENKY'S OUT" banner(s) to the top and get a photo if these morons are still at our club. If not a BRFC banner will have to do. Either way any help would be greatly appreciated. www.justgiving.com/millerdoesmachupicchu

[Rover_Shaun]

http://sport.stv.tv/world-sport/303686-steve-kean-confident-over-blackburn-rovers-relegation-fight-as-fans-plan-protest/

Weve been fantastic in every single game and there have been games where we should have probably got a little more out of them I dont mean the players, I mean the results, he said.

[Roaming Rover]

Garbage as ever.....though the last paragraph is interesting. Is that a touch of uncertainty from mr kean on his future????

[davulsukur]

His wife 'wasn't in the right frame of mind'.

:lol:

[Rover_Shaun]

Any news on the 'alleged' training bust up or is it just the usual rumour hot air?

[perthblue02]

Came across this while looking around the net, quite funny and not from Rovers supporters My link

[m1st]

60 seconds with steve kean

(warning, he goes on for 275 seconds lol)

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/video/18042012/58/60-seconds-steve-kean.html

Thanks a bunch for that, mark ; I threw up all over my laptop after 1' 48" - can't take any more of that BS [or that smug grin].

[Mercer]

Any news on the 'alleged' training bust up or is it just the usual rumour hot air?

Cryer, Blackburn (THe Sun) and Kamy all have an 'understanding' that something went off.

Philipl seems to think that he might know what happened (Norwich thread):

No not them apparently (referring to Givet & Petro).

Steve puffy face Kean knows who laid them on him though. The Brockhall peregrine falcon seems to have witnessed Kean starting one of the fights because he had been rescued from a beating and had turned on the rescuer and came off second best again.

[Rover_Shaun]

So nobody knows anything worth reporting then?

[winstonsmith]

Any news on the 'alleged' training bust up or is it just the usual rumour hot air?

Word is that, as his reputation as a hard man from the mean streets has grown, then it was inevitable that Steve 'Dignified' Kean would have to have a showdown with David 'Mad Dog' Goodwillie.

Seems that Dignified waltzed into the canteen followed by Ninja Dan and a couple of Indian gents in white coats with a stop watch and clipboards who had just popped over from Mumbai to conduct a time and motion study. Anyway, Dignified is shouting to the players sat at the long tables 'Who's the Daddy ?'. Myles, Bruno and Scott respond 'You're the Daddy'.

Mad Dog does not look up but just carries on eating. Incensed, Dignified goes up to Mad Dog and bends down to shout 'Who's the Daddy ?' in his ear whilst tipping his plate of chicken and beans all over the floor.

Mad Dog jumps up and manages to nut Dignified before he is disabled by a death grip from Ninja Dan.

Who'd a thowt it, eh ?

[Moppy]

On a bit of a change of direction. I assume there is going to be lots of anti Kean chanting on Saturday, certainly if we go a couple down. Can we get a few other songs rather than just the typical Kean out. Maybe tweak some of the Burnley songs to Kean.

E.g

What do you think of Kean

Kean you B******, T***, and C***

F*** O**

Or a different version on No Way Never.

Any ideas?

[Rover_Shaun]

When is it time for the old classic "You're not fit to wear the shirt!"?

[Moppy]

When is it time for the old classic "You're not fit to wear the shirt!"?

Certainly getting there,

Would prefer to aim it at Kean though so "You're not fit to ?????????"

"wear that suit"

"manage this team"

"live on earth"

"shine Sam's shoes"

"lace Sam's boots"

[getskills]

THE SCENE:

September 2032. A Run down pub in Glasgow.

A smartly dressed young man, early twenties, wanders to the bar for an after work drink. At the corner of the bar sits a bald old man. He is sat alone, muttering into his pint glass.

“HEY. HOW ARE YOU YOUNG FELLER” he shouts

The young man sighs. He's been through this many times. His shoulders slump.

“YA KNOW MY TEAM BEAT UNITED. AT OLD TRAFFORD?”

“Yessss” the young man says. “You mentioned” A couple of hundred times every night, he thinks to himself.

“AN MY BOYZ DREW AT ANFIELD. DALGLISH! FERGUSON! I OUT THOUGHT THEM ALL.” the old man is getting animated. He waves his arms at a field of players only he can see. “CLOSE THEM DOWN BOYS!”

The barman slowly shakes his head.

“FEED THE YAK!”

The young man looks at the barman. Eyebrows raised. The old man is holding an interview with a TV crew that isn't there. “ALL WE NEED TO DO” he shouts into his microphone, a half beer bottle “IS TO GET 25 POINTS FROM THE LAST 2 GAMES AND WE'LL BE IN EUROPE.”

“How do you put up with him?” says the young man “why don't you throw him out?”

“KICK THE ROUND THING”

“Can't” says the barmen. “He manages the place. We used to be one of the best pubs in Glasgow but look at it now.”

“So what happened?” asks the young bloke

“We had some beautiful barmaids. He kept giving them the night off. Told everyone they had sore knees and recurring split ends. Eventually they left. He insulted the customers, called them all stupid. Insisted on doing all the jobs instead of getting his staff to do it. Used to have this saying 'Delegation? No chance'.”

The barmen picks up a bright orange and black menu “Changed the menu, we used have a great menu. Look at it know.”

“Chicken sandwich

Chicken and chicken sandwich

Chicken and chicken sandwich with extra chicken

Chicken salt, two pounds extra”

“Then his mate Jerry got him to hire all these new barmen. Top wages too. Trouble is they'd never poured a pint. Spent all their time on the wrong side of the bar just staring at the ceiling. So he 're-organised' the staff. Waiters became glass washers, the bouncers became the cleaners and old Alfie was the exotic dancer. Looked stupid in a bikini the poor bloke.”

“THIS WILL BE THE BEST PUB IN GLASGOW BY THIS TIME LAST YEAR”

“Why don't the owners get rid of him?”

“One of the great mysteries of life” the barmen shakes his head “donkey photos maybe. See any tables in here?”

“No” the young fellow looks around “half the stools are missing. Where's the toilet doors gone?”

“Owners sold them all. Thought no-one would notice. Sold all the spirit glasses too. Now, if you want a whisky you have to cup your hands. Course they've never run a pub. Never even been in one.”

“He” the barmen nods a head in the drunks direction “threw all the pictures out. Said in his mind the frames weren't right”

“So he was a football manager was he?” the young man asked

“Aye so he says. Do you remember Blackburn Rovers.”

“Vaguely” the young bloke scratches his chin. “Ma dad used to talk about them. Aren't they an English football club”

“Were” said the barman “very sad story”

“SOMEONE'S SPIKED MA DRINK” the old man topples backwards of his stool.

[rigger]

Jog on Stevie Kean,

You know what we mean,

You're a bullsh@tting illegitimate,

and you've ruined our team.

To the tune of daydream believer.

[Kelbo]

THE SCENE:

September 2032. A Run down pub in Glasgow.

A smartly dressed young man, early twenties, wanders to the bar for an after work drink. At the corner of the bar sits a bald old man. He is sat alone, muttering into his pint glass.

“HEY. HOW ARE YOU YOUNG FELLER” he shouts

The young man sighs. He's been through this many times. His shoulders slump.

“YA KNOW MY TEAM BEAT UNITED. AT OLD TRAFFORD?”

“Yessss” the young man says. “You mentioned” A couple of hundred times every night, he thinks to himself.

“AN MY BOYZ DREW AT ANFIELD. DALGLISH! FERGUSON! I OUT THOUGHT THEM ALL.” the old man is getting animated. He waves his arms at a field of players only he can see. “CLOSE THEM DOWN BOYS!”

The barman slowly shakes his head.

“FEED THE YAK!”

The young man looks at the barman. Eyebrows raised. The old man is holding an interview with a TV crew that isn't there. “ALL WE NEED TO DO” he shouts into his microphone, a half beer bottle “IS TO GET 25 POINTS FROM THE LAST 2 GAMES AND WE'LL BE IN EUROPE.”

“How do you put up with him?” says the young man “why don't you throw him out?”

“KICK THE ROUND THING”

“Can't” says the barmen. “He manages the place. We used to be one of the best pubs in Glasgow but look at it now.”

“So what happened?” asks the young bloke

“We had some beautiful barmaids. He kept giving them the night off. Told everyone they had sore knees and recurring split ends. Eventually they left. He insulted the customers, called them all stupid. Insisted on doing all the jobs instead of getting his staff to do it. Used to have this saying 'Delegation? No chance'.”

The barmen picks up a bright orange and black menu “Changed the menu, we used have a great menu. Look at it know.”

“Chicken sandwich

Chicken and chicken sandwich

Chicken and chicken sandwich with extra chicken

Chicken salt, two pounds extra”

“Then his mate Jerry got him to hire all these new barmen. Top wages too. Trouble is they'd never poured a pint. Spent all their time on the wrong side of the bar just staring at the ceiling. So he 're-organised' the staff. Waiters became glass washers, the bouncers became the cleaners and old Alfie was the exotic dancer. Looked stupid in a bikini the poor bloke.”

“THIS WILL BE THE BEST PUB IN GLASGOW BY THIS TIME LAST YEAR”

“Why don't the owners get rid of him?”

“One of the great mysteries of life” the barmen shakes his head “donkey photos maybe. See any tables in here?”

“No” the young fellow looks around “half the stools are missing. Where's the toilet doors gone?”

“Owners sold them all. Thought no-one would notice. Sold all the spirit glasses too. Now, if you want a whisky you have to cup your hands. Course they've never run a pub. Never even been in one.”

“He” the barmen nods a head in the drunks direction “threw all the pictures out. Said in his mind the frames weren't right”

“So he was a football manager was he?” the young man asked

“Aye so he says. Do you remember Blackburn Rovers.”

“Vaguely” the young bloke scratches his chin. “Ma dad used to talk about them. Aren't they an English football club”

“Were” said the barman “very sad story”

“SOMEONE'S SPIKED MA DRINK” the old man topples backwards of his stool.

Simply Brilliant, we should get that published, still chuckling!

[Roaming Rover]

Getskills, that all your own work? Awesome stuff, laughing like a madman on the train. May get the old bloke sat across from me reading 'women and power' a read.....wonder if mrs D is mentioned?!?!?

[Stuart]

Nice one getskills.

The saddest part of the story. The old fella at the bar was sober.

[ChrisyG]

Certainly getting there,

Would prefer to aim it at Kean though so "You're not fit to ?????????"

"wear that suit"

"manage this team"

"live on earth"

"shine Sam's shoes"

"lace Sam's boots"

"breathe air"

[DE.]

Good stuff, getskills

[perthblue02]

Absolutely Brilliant getskills

[Devon Rover]

THE SCENE:

September 2032. A Run down pub in Glasgow.

A smartly dressed young man, early twenties, wanders to the bar for an after work drink. At the corner of the bar sits a bald old man. He is sat alone, muttering into his pint glass.

Brilliantly put together!