[Archived] The Season's Book of Kean's most ridiculous Statements

[TBTF]

As the season draws to a deeply unedifying close i have lost count of the most ridiculous quotes emerging from Coco's mouth during this season.The media think we have given him an unduly hard time but have based their opinion on 5 minute clips and odd soundbites whereas we have had to endure constant claptrap 24/7.

Is not a a decent idea to build a compilation of the quotes we have been asked to absorb and believe during this utterly disastrous reign of terror. Feel free to include our beloved owners in this farce.

Can we produce a season's Top 20 , as after all the goal of the season comp was a joke and player of the year will be even worse!!

As a starter for 10 who can forget that Saturday morning as we made our way to Wigan bouyed by those immortal words uttered by the baldeagle

''No way we will be relegated!!!''

Over to you guys to beat that one!!

[Amo]

"We are not going to be able to invent 10 games where we can go on an unbeaten run because there are not enough games left."

[John]

“It was difficult with Phil because he got the opportunity to go to Manchester United and he wanted to play Champions League football now. We’re not there yet but I’m sure we will be in the next three or four seasons.”

[onlyonejackwalker]

"We are not going to be able to invent 10 games where we can go on an unbeaten run because there are not enough games left."

Classic!!!

"We have been AMAZING in EVERY game".

Comedy gold.

[TBTF]

“It was difficult with Phil because he got the opportunity to go to Manchester United and he wanted to play Champions League football now. We’re not there yet but I’m sure we will be in the next three or four seasons.”

this compilation will be media gold by the time we have finished.If this doesn't illustrate our point about this regime i don't know what will.

[bob fleming]

"He's in a bad way. I've just been to see him. He's in traction. We need experienced players in the team and I can't wait to get him back, but I doubt he'll be let out before the end of the season. It's just typical of my luck and I'm struggling to retain my dignity." on Ryan Nelsen 2 hours before Kean gave him away and he scored a hat trick against Brazil for Spurs. Something like that anyway.

[Mattyblue]

"They do want European football but it wasn’t this year. We all want that and I’m convinced we can do that.”

Steve Kean, April 2012.

[Amo]

“If we can put the first 80 minutes against Manchester United together with our 20-minute spell in the second half against West Brom, you will get the overall intensity and performance required."

[frosty]

"I think that on another day if there was a bit more dew on the grass one of his shots would have gone in.” Moron.

Someone find the one about penalty box entries when we lost 3-1 to an awful Villa team, as well.

[EwoodDawn]

On Goodwillie v Everton last August: "I think that on another day if there was a bit more dew on the grass one of his shots would have gone in."

Edit - great minds, Frosty!

[bob fleming]

"He's desperate to sign, we're making progress" - Kean on Junior, every other day since December 2010.

[Rochdale Blue]

'We feel that Myles Anderson is a player with great potential as a late developer,' Kean told the Lancashire Telegraph. 'He could become something of a Chris Smalling, who came through late in football and Myles has done the same because of his schooling.

'We think he has a lot of potential but there was the opportunity for him to go Scotland in January and we and he felt that would be a good experience for him.

'There was interest in him from a couple of Spanish clubs but he is our player and will be at our club full time in July.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1369232/Blackburn-boss-Steve-Kean-defends-Myles-Anderson-signing.html#ixzz1stS5F5nT

[Mattyblue]

"Bruno, or Denis after Denis Irwin, because he never gives the ball away, he'll be great for us,

[perthblue02]

When asked about the plane

“I didn’t see the plane and I don’t know what it said," My link

and this is him not seeing the plane

[Rochdale Blue]

And Kean says Ribeiro has drawn comparisons with former Manchester United defender, Irwin. 'Bruno, or Denis after Denis Irwin the boys call him because he never gives the ball away, will fill in that position and that is great for us,' Kean told the Lancashire Telegraph.

Rovers have also been linked with Serbian midfielder Radosav Petrovic and PAOK Salonika’s Portuguese winger Vieirinha.

And Kean has admitted he hopes to sign a striker and midfielder before this Saturday's Premier League opener against Wolves.

'We are still looking for another striker and another midfield player as well, we are active and we are out there,' said Kean.

'The lads are itching to go and they have been itching for a while now. They have been absolutely flying in training and the fitness levels are great.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2023745/Steve-Kean-delighted-Bruno-Ribeiro.html#ixzz1stSurfE5

[Amo]

"...considering we were in their box 36 times, the same equal amount as Villa."

After a 3-1 defeat to Villa.

This is my new favourite topic now.

[Mattyblue]

Kean said: “David’s always been put on a par with a young Rooney and he can certainly score all types of goals.

“It’s not just nice tap-ins, he can create a goal for himself, score from outside the box, chip them in, pass them in, smash them in.”

[TBTF]

And Kean says Ribeiro has drawn comparisons with former Manchester United defender, Irwin. 'Bruno, or Denis after Denis Irwin the boys call him because he never gives the ball away, will fill in that position and that is great for us,' Kean told the Lancashire Telegraph.

Rovers have also been linked with Serbian midfielder Radosav Petrovic and PAOK Salonika’s Portuguese winger Vieirinha.

And Kean has admitted he hopes to sign a striker and midfielder before this Saturday's Premier League opener against Wolves.

'We are still looking for another striker and another midfield player as well, we are active and we are out there,' said Kean.

'The lads are itching to go and they have been itching for a while now. They have been absolutely flying in training and the fitness levels are great.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2023745/Steve-Kean-delighted-Bruno-Ribeiro.html#ixzz1stSurfE5

Class effort lads and we haven't had ''our baby'' mentioned yet!! Have we signed Papiss Cisse yet??

[bob fleming]

"I held my hands up to the owners and explained it's all my fault. I'm sorry to see him leave" Kean on John Jensen's departure.

"There is no way Chris Samba is leaving this football club. I've spoken to the owners and that's the end of the matter" Kean, 5 minutes before setting off to drop Chris at Manchester Airport for his flight to Moscow.

[EwoodDawn]

Sky Sports interview April 2012

interviewer: "How do you stop the work life coming back here into your home? I've not seen any signs of a cat. I don't know if you've kicked it out or..."

SK: "No, we don't have a cat, we don't have a dog but we have plenty of TVs and we watch football, I'm always at football...."

So who chomps the pedigree chum to the left of you in the background, then Stevie?

[TBTF]

"I held my hands up to the owners and explained it's all my fault. I'm sorry to see him leave" Kean on John Jensen's departure.

"There is no way Chris Samba is leaving this football club. I've spoken to the owners and that's the end of the matter" Kean, 5 minutes before setting off to drop Chris at Manchester Airport for his flight to Moscow.

they would have got there 2 minutes later if Samba had been driving

[bob fleming]

One from last season "Blimey, there's half a bottle of red in that glass...."

Also....

"It's just 1%"

"The owners are very knowledgeable"

"Please make them stop asking questions Aggers...."

"Don't hit me Morton!"

Coming soon... "I'm confident we can get the 7 points we need against Chelsea"

[Rochdale Blue]

Blackburn Rovers "forfeited" their Carling Cup quarter-final against Cardiff City to concentrate on turning around their Premier League fortunes, according to the club's under-fire manager Steve Kean.

Blackburn lost 2-0 at Cardiff after Kean made five changes and opted not to risk defenders Chris Samba, Martin Olsson and Michel Salgado.

"We are in a position where we have forfeited going through and having the chance to reach a cup final," Kean said. "We have games against sides within touching distance of us in the league. We need to treat those games as cup finals."

[SIMON GARNERS 194]

''I receive 500 letters of support per day''

[Wiggy]

The 43-year-old initially told the police he had not drunk any alcohol that day. After he was found to have 65 milligrams of alcohol in his breath – the legal limit being 35 – he admitted drinking over a three-hour period, having two and a half glasses of red wine with Ferguson followed by a bottle of beer with some friends.

Kean described himself as "stunned" when he was told he was over the limit and told Macclesfield magistrates court the only possible explanation was that his drinks had been laced. However, he could not provide an explanation of where this had happened or who was responsible and the district judge Nicholas Sanders said he had a public duty to ban him from the roads so he could "no longer represent a danger to the public".

"There is no evidence of lacing of drinks," Sanders said. "No one has come forward and said: 'Yes, I put 17 vodkas into his beer.' There is another explanation – and that is Mr Kean had more to drink than he has admitted."

The judge concluded this was "the more likely explanation" and questioned whether Kean's account could be regarded as truthful. He said: "It is perhaps relevant that when he was stopped by the police and asked whether he had had anything to drink he replied 'no' and that was clearly not true."

Kean, who was fined £1,800 and ordered to pay £720 costs, had denied the charge but changed his plea to guilty on the basis he wanted to make a "special reasons" argument to avoid a disqualification, namely that his drinks had been tampered with and that he would have been under the legal limit if this were not the case.

Kean said: "I felt fine. It was an emotional game and the adrenaline was flowing but I felt absolutely fine – not at all [drunk]. I was happy because of the result but not at all intoxicated. I was shocked and surprised to be told I was over the limit. I thought it was a mistake. The only way I could have been over [the limit] to that extent was if I had been drinking in my car, and I certainly wasn't drinking in the car."