[Archived] The Season's Book of Kean's most ridiculous Statements

[Baz]

"My drink was spiked", to the judge who found him guilty of drink driving.

Kean admitted to drinking 2 1/2 glasses red wine and a Bottle of beer....

"no" his answer to the question "have you had anything to drink?" by the policeman who stopped him.

"we need experienced players" March 12 after 15 months of giving experienced players away.

[joey_big_nose]

I would say there is a really good PR move here if we can stick all of these (as long as we make sure they are 100% accurate!) into a Tumblr blog then send the link out to national and local papers.....

Probably could get an internet meme on the go as well...

[EwoodDawn]

Again, I know it's not this season but it's relevant - Big Sam on his sacking and SK's promotion ahead of Neil McDonald:

'I can't put my finger on it, and that's one of the problems because having never really met the new owners and having had little dialogue with them, somebody somewhere has obviously said something derogatory to get me out of this job.

'They have said something either prior to the takeover or just after it happened for them to ring up and say we no longer want your services or Neil McDonald's.

'That was a stranger one for me because if there was anybody capable of looking after the reins when I left, with all due respect to Steve, it would be Neil.'

[perthblue02]

I would say there is a really good PR move here if we can stick all of these (as long as we make sure they are 100% accurate!) into a Tumblr blog then send the link out to national and local papers.....

Probably could get an internet meme on the go as well...

Somebody as got a website with plenty of "Keanism's" on, sure I've seen it posted on here

Can imagine the term "your such a kean" taking off about anybody who is economical with the truth or "stop keaning me"

[TBTF]

I would say there is a really good PR move here if we can stick all of these (as long as we make sure they are 100% accurate!) into a Tumblr blog then send the link out to national and local papers.....

Probably could get an internet meme on the go as well...

that was my point Joe.And you are right.there is some fantastic stuff on here already and we have only been going an hour.God how much utter utter sh1te have we been asked to digest? But i think the final compilation will have to comprise direct quotes only or it will lose its effect-however funny and amusing it is.I think if they are actual quotes then the media might use them as part of our epitaph.If only it wasn't so feckin tragic!!

[Rovermatt]

It's not as ridiculous as his other stuff but he made a statement (I'm sure) earlier in the season about deserving this job. It really annoyed me. Perhaps someone could clarify exactly what he said?

[perthblue02]

It's not as ridiculous as his other stuff but he made a statement (I'm sure) earlier in the season about deserving this job. It really annoyed me. Perhaps someone could clarify exactly what he said?

was it this

‘I feel that I don’t owe anybody anything,’ he then adds, adopting a more serious tone. ‘I feel anything I’ve got I’ve had to work for.

‘I was never gifted anything as a player. I joined Celtic as a schoolboy but I got to a stage there where I wasn’t playing and I wanted to play, so I went to Swansea on loan.

‘I hoped to get a pro contract there, but it didn’t work out. Then I got the opportunity to go to Portugal. I remember people asking me what on earth I was doing going there. But I just wanted to play.

‘I had to hunt for a playing career, and then I had to hunt for a way to stay in the game when I finished playing at Reading. I didn’t want to stop, so I would coach in the evenings, drive people to the airport — do whatever Mark McGhee needed as the manager at that time, because he didn’t have a lot of staff. I’ve paid my dues, and if you’ve done that you deserve a go at it.’

[Mattyblue]

It's not as ridiculous as his other stuff but he made a statement (I'm sure) earlier in the season about deserving this job. It really annoyed me. Perhaps someone could clarify exactly what he said?

I had to hunt for a playing career, and then I had to hunt for a way to stay in the game when I finished playing at Reading. I didn’t want to stop, so I would coach in the evenings, drive people to the airport — do whatever Mark McGhee needed as the manager at that time, because he didn’t have a lot of staff. I’ve paid my dues, and if you’ve done that you deserve a go at it.’

[TBTF]

was it this

‘I feel that I don’t owe anybody anything,’ he then adds, adopting a more serious tone. ‘I feel anything I’ve got I’ve had to work for.

‘I was never gifted anything as a player. I joined Celtic as a schoolboy but I got to a stage there where I wasn’t playing and I wanted to play, so I went to Swansea on loan.

‘I hoped to get a pro contract there, but it didn’t work out. Then I got the opportunity to go to Portugal. I remember people asking me what on earth I was doing going there. But I just wanted to play.

‘I had to hunt for a playing career, and then I had to hunt for a way to stay in the game when I finished playing at Reading. I didn’t want to stop, so I would coach in the evenings, drive people to the airport — do whatever Mark McGhee needed as the manager at that time, because he didn’t have a lot of staff. I’ve paid my dues, and if you’ve done that you deserve a go at it.’

Or in other words do anything to worm your way into a job.Perhaps this should continue...... '' and now that hasn't worked out i deserve my ginger hair back and a good hiding in the side streets of Glasgow''

[Wing Wizard Windy Miller]

The "and Junior has signed a new contract" text to sky sports at the end of the (September 2011)transfer window - is a personal favourite of mine...

Followed up in the LET the day after.

"He's not signed yet but should be in the next 24 hrs or so"

Repeat ad-infinitum over the last 7 months.

[The Dart]

I really don't know what all the fuss is about. Things are fantastic.

September 19, 2011 Kean - Hoilett deal close

September 30, 2011 Kean urges positive approach

October 23, 2011 Kean staying positive

February 9, 2012 Kean positive over Samba

March 31, 2012 Kean - Fans are back on side

April 3, 2012 Kean focused on positives

April 5, 2012 Kean - Good time to play Reds

April 10, 2012 Kean sees bright future

April 13, 2012 Kean - We are not down yet

April 22, 2012 Kean remains confident

[tomphil]

Can't remember the exact words but has anyone got the "book value" 1

[EwoodDawn]

Back to this year, the 'love-in' type thingy with Jim White out on the pitches whilst the players were training at Brockhall this Jan:

JW: "Ok, Steve, let's get the tough questions out of the way first. It's January and that means the transfer window. And we understand a mainstay of your team, Chris Samba, has asked for a transfer. And I don't see him out there today. Where is he where are we with that?"

SK: "Chris is here in the building just now. You know he had quite a bad stomach virus over the weekend and we have to make sure that that's fine. He's here, he's training today. You know the statement reads for itself, we want to keep Chris. Obviously we know there's bids out there for him but you know it's a mark of what we're trying to do that we've refused the bids and that's where we are. Chris is here in the building today and hopefully will be training tomorrow with us."

Contradictions?

Then just under 7 mins into this cosy chat, someone looking suspiciously like Samba runs past in the background of the camera shot, certainly not appearing to be suffering from a dicky tummy. You can then see Chris engaging in a bit of 'horseplay' on around 8 mins 40, as commented upon by Jim. Hmmm.

[blueboy3333]

was there one about Formica being the new Batistuta?

[LDRover]

'The transfer fund is very healthy, the biggest this club has had in years'

[DE.]

"If you have a good gameplan and a good bunch of players you have a chance, and I've got both."

Steve Kean, April 2012. His good players and good gameplan currently have Rovers 18th and almost certain to get relegated.

"Gaël Givet and Bradley Orr both had to have injections to play, Junior Hoilett and Ayegbeni Yakubu are both carrying injuries too, but no one wants to come off the pitch at the moment and that's a fantastic sign."

Steve Kean on why having numerous players with niggling injuries is a good thing.

"I'm always very open and honest with anything I'm asked."

Steve Kean lies about being honest.

"My phone's been going hot all week with messages saying: 'Hang in there.' No disrespect to local MPs or local journalists or ex-players but, when you've got vastly experienced managers phoning and saying under the circumstances you're doing a marvellous job, then I'll listen to them."

Steve Kean thinks people love him, but in reality his number was posted on a Burnley message board.

"I've worked with him before. He's a fantastic leader but more importantly he's a top player."

Steve Kean gets Scott Dann confused with a good footballer.

""If you look at this season and the way we're playing, we deserve more points.

"And that's coming from speaking to people like Harry. He told me he felt we deserved a point when we lost to Spurs.

"Andre Villas-Boas and John Terry also came in to see me after Chelsea beat us. They told us what a tough game we had given them and guys like Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard said the same thing.

"I don't think they say that week in, week out to other managers."

Steve Kean shamelessly namedrops like a League Two manager proudly discussing a valiant loss in a Carling Cup match.

"They have a lot to look forward to when they see the age of the team. In one of our last games it was the youngest Blackburn team since 1996. So the future is bright and I think the owners know that."

Steve Kean fails to explain how having the youngest team since 1996 means the future is bright.

"I've seen vast changes in people in my life through different experiences and I would hope the educated fan can understand it's a transitional period for the club."

Steve Kean explains that a fan would have to be uneducated to be unhappy with the state of the club.

[SIMON GARNERS 194]

As we are beaten game after game and slip further down the league.....

''LOOK AT THE POSITIVES''!!

[Wiggy]

Daily Mail

I was born about a mile from Celtic Park but where we lived was a strong Protestant area,’ he says.

‘My parents worked, hard. My dad drove a van and my mum worked as a dinner lady, and when you’re part of a family that’s not the same as everyone else you just have to survive.

‘In Dalmarnock you had to have your wits about you. You needed a sixth sense for danger and trouble and developed the kind of survival instincts that I think have stood me in good stead.

‘The main objective was getting to and from school in one piece. I would get the occasional hiding but I would find different ways to get there. You couldn’t walk the most direct route."

Guardian[

Kean was born in Cumbernauld, a satellite of Glasgow lying on the opposite side of the city to Paisley, and best known in football terms for being the location for the film Gregory's Girl.

Wikipedia

Kean grew up in Cumbernauld, a new town on the outskirts of Glasgow, attending St. Maurice's High School.

BBC

Cumbernauld-born Kean has been first-team coach under manager Sam Allardyce at Blackburn since August.

[perthblue02]

"stop please, Mrs D you said I could wear the strap -on when we won"

[Boner]

Don't have the links as these are off the top of my head. 2 interviews aimed directly at the owners.

Post match home to city - some rubbish about keeping a clean sheet for 60 minutes.

One interview before our 6 "winnable" games in the autumn, where I think we took 4 points from 18: "I'm sure we're about to go on a very long unbeaten run".

[OJRovers]

'The footballing world will take note when I announce the appointment'

Few days later, John Jensen signs as assistant.

[EwoodDawn]

Post match home to city - some rubbish about keeping a clean sheet for 60 minutes.

I have every confidence we can turn this situation around, and for 55 minutes of the game we were in good shape and in contention.

[OJRovers]

'We had so many injuries we had to make 3 or 4 substitutions' vs Swansea.

[EwoodDawn]

One interview before our 6 "winnable" games in the autumn, where I think we took 4 points from 18: "I'm sure we're about to go on a very long unbeaten run".

“This period is massive,” he said. “You look to the first phase of 10 games and it has been tough.

"There have been a lot of tough games and I feel as though we should have another six points.

“Now we have got games against teams around us and if our levels are as high as they have been then I am convinced we will pick up points and by the time we get to half way we will be much in a much, much better position.”

[Neil Weaver]

Somebody as got a website with plenty of "Keanism's" on, sure I've seen it posted on here

Think it's by krypton1980. Roverstruth, not sure if it's right up to date.