[Archived] The Season's Book of Kean's most ridiculous Statements

[perthblue02]

Eric Black said Kean deserves a knighthood for what he's been through.

Still don't actually know what he's actually been through or another one I hear how he's conducted himself with "dignity" whatever that means. Dignity must mean to lie. 

Your joking aren't you! have you never been sat in a restuarant and you receive a text from your PR saying "fantastic story opportunity go somewhere else for pudding, aggers xxxx"

Actually getting up after a lovely meal and going somewhere else for spotted dick and custard is a real chore!

[Rovermatt]

Spot on, Theno.

Following Muamba's collapse and just prior to the Bolton match, his chum Coyle was quoted as saying "I have to place on record my thanks to Stevie Kean, who was one of the first to contact me. He's a gem of a lad and he knows I have a lot of time for him".

How about a list of BS quotes about Kean ? Stevie's a gem of a lad !

That could require another thread.

Phil Thompson: "He's a fantastic manager."

Gary Neville: "He's been so honest all season."

[he6rt6gr6m]

"The shape of the team was okay."

Steve Kean after losing 2-0 to Spurs.

If this ever made it to print, it would be the best selling joke book ever EVER.

[DE.]

How about a list of BS quotes about Kean ? Stevie's a gem of a lad !

Nixon would have to have his own section though I imagine he regrets making a lot of those comments now.

[booth]

Eric Black said Kean deserves a knighthood for what he's been through.

Still don't actually know what he's actually been through or another one I hear how he's conducted himself with "dignity" whatever that means. Dignity must mean to lie. 

One things for sure if he deserves a knighthood the fans deserve a knighthood, to be canonised, given a million pounds and get to spend a night with both cheryl cole and Megan fox just as a start. 

So he deserves a knighthood for getting the chance of a lifetime to manage in the Premiership (something he would never have had the opportunity to do had it not been for Venky's takeover) and getting a lot richer as a result.

[True Blue & White]

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/sport/9373396.Blackburn_Rovers_relegated__No_chance__says_Steve_Kean/?ref=mr

As someone pointed out up to 8th read on lt site other day

Another classic from the same interview...

“You look back on the games, were we good enough for a point against Chelsea? Yes. Should we have got three against Norwich? Yes. Should we have got a point against Tottenham? Yes.

“You add up all those points and we’re sitting halfway up the league."

Kean points out the footballing equivelent of your aunty having testicles being your uncle.

[True Blue & White]

I suspect Kean has already phoned his comedic scriptwriter to bash out a few soundbites for our inevitable relegation next week. Here's a few lines I reckon he might say when asked about Rovers on being relegated...

"We're not in the Championship yet, look at Rangers they were deducted 10 points recently and that might happen to both Bolton & QPR in the next week which would put us in 17th"

"The target this season was always to finish above Wolves and the owners and squad are delighted we've managed to achieve it."

"If you stand on your head and look at the table, we actually finished 2nd and look at the kind of money City had to spend to get there."

"It was Ryan Nelsen's fault"

[TBTF]

I suspect Kean has already phoned his comedic scriptwriter to bash out a few soundbites for our inevitable relegation next week. Here's a few lines I reckon he might say when asked about Rovers on being relegated...

"We're not in the Championship yet, look at Rangers they were deducted 10 points recently and that might happen to both Bolton & QPR in the next week which would put us in 17th"

"The target this season was always to finish above Wolves and the owners and squad are delighted we've managed to achieve it."

"If you stand on your head and look at the table, we actually finished 2nd and look at the kind of money City had to spend to get there."

"It was Ryan Nelsen's fault"

The minority 1% have been against us and the other 99% showed they are with us by renewing their season tickets.Ha Ha!!

[bluebruce]

This must be one of the worst yet. Tonight after our relegation:

Asked if he had discussed his future with the club's owners, Kean also said: "I have spoken with the owners, like I do every day.

"We haven't mentioned what has happened tonight, but I am confident we will have a sit down and have a plan in place as quickly as possible."

..................what the hell else were you talking about then?!?

[Jock]

This must be one of the worst yet. Tonight after our relegation:

Asked if he had discussed his future with the club's owners, Kean also said: "I have spoken with the owners, like I do every day.

"We haven't mentioned what has happened tonight, but I am confident we will have a sit down and have a plan in place as quickly as possible."

..................what the hell else were you talking about then?!?

Who's worth what, in the firesale.

[perthblue02]

This must be one of the worst yet. Tonight after our relegation:

Asked if he had discussed his future with the club's owners, Kean also said: "I have spoken with the owners, like I do every day.

"We haven't mentioned what has happened tonight, but I am confident we will have a sit down and have a plan in place as quickly as possible."

..................what the hell else were you talking about then?!?

Relegation bonus and more shares for him and his mates?

[ABBEY]

His interview last night when he said every fan in the ground knew how we tried and talked its if we took siege of the pie eaters goal . The truth you lying sack of chicken ###### is we had 37% possession and have had 2 shots on target in 180 mins . If you think that's good enough shows you up for the fraudster you are

[donis1410]

It really winds me up how he comes up, time after time after ####ing time, with drol that is never an honest reflection of the true performance. I understand trying to have a "positive outlook" on things but he takes the biscuit (or the shortbread in that scottish clowns case).

[Mattyblue]

'I have faith in my ability'.

[True Blue & White]

"I believe we can be in a position where we can be very competitive from the first game of next season."

Oh please just die you numpty!!!

[Glenn]

This one has been bugging me since I first read it, but I've only just found confirmation that it wasn't just in my head.

From the LT's report of this initial court hearing for drink driving http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/crime/9071295.Defence_may_claim_Blackburn_Rovers_manager_s_drink_was_spiked/

As the court decided on a date for trial, Kean was asked when the new season started and replied 'August 22'.

He will now face a one-day trial at Macclesfield Magistrates' Court on Monday, August 15 - less than a week before the new campaign kicks off.

The season actually started on 13th August. The 22nd being not just over a week (and two games) later, but also a Monday!

So, he either had no idea when he needed to have the team ready for, or he intentionally gave an incorrect date to ensure the hearing happened during the season. Either is pretty damming.

[DE.]

An Owen Coyle quote, after Bolton beat us 2-1 at Ewood in December.

"I don't think they have given Stevie Kean a chance from the outset when he was appointed," said Coyle. "Ultimately, people who shout the loudest get heard. Stevie Kean is a terrific coach, he is managing in the best league in the world and somebody has to fill the dreaded bottom places. He has injuries that are uncontrollable, he is a genuinely nice person and given time and opportunity he will prove himself."

You weren't wrong Coyley, Kean certainly proved himself to be the fraud we knew he was all along.

[bluebruce]

I think when Coyle said 'he has injuries that are uncontrollable', he meant Kean personally, not the players. And meant a severe mental injury. And probably to the truth centres of the brain.

[bluebruce]

Steve Kean's recent interview:

"We are now taking one step backwards to push forward."

He almost seems like he is trying to pretend this was part of the plan.

"We have the basis of a good young side, we just have to add more experience."

You've just got rid of all the experience. And we are going to lose at least Hoilett.

"We have got new owners and I still think I am new into the job."

You've been here 18 bloody months. I've been in my job 8 months now and I would never say I was new to it.

"Moving forward, I think it is going to be an exciting time for the club."

This is the most frightening time for the club in mine and a lot of supporters' living memories. If terrifying counts as exciting, then yes, it's exciting.

When asked if Venky's are the right owners for the club, Kean said: "100%."

They've quite clearly been hugely, hugely incompetent, stop being such a blatant bullshtting yes man.

"I know we have got many people employed at Ewood to put out different statements on different subjects."

That almost never issue statements on subjects. Paul's letter reveals nobody tends to know the answers, and only you have communication with India.

"The other parts of the club should be answered by the heads of those departments."

If Paul Hunt has been fired, who is above him to answer those questions? Only the Raos. Who of course, are unavailable for comment as usual, unlike when they used to spout crap out the mouth at every opportunity.

"I have been on radio shows and football forums on official websites and I have never not answered a football question."

Saying words does not constitute an answer. You are constantly ducking football issues, with outright lies or blatant misdirection.

He said: "Most of the time, at home, the fans were more supportive."

Of the team, not of you. Ever heard one round of Stevie Kean's blue and white army this season? And by telling the world we are supportive when we don't chant for your head, you only encourage us to chant for your head to dispel that myth.

"They are disappointed, the same as everyone. We are all disappointed we are not going to be in the league but we gave it a really good go."

We DIDN'T! We absolutely capitulated at times, Spurs and City away in particular. We've been relegated with a game to go, and will very likely fall 9 points short of the usual points mark said to grant safety. What we've done is absolutely collapse from a mid table outfit to a relegated one.

When asked if fans deserved an apology for Rovers' sorry season, he said: "You would have to ask each individual fan."

Possibly the worst answer to any question ever. Jade Goody's remark: "Rio di Janeiro, isn't that a footballer?" is more intelligent. First, it's just a bit unfeasible to ask every single fan. Second, if you did, the overwhelming majority would definitely say yes. The fans made it pretty obvious what they thought on Monday. There was no one percent about it. Third, when do you NOT owe an apology for relegating a team? Only newly promoted teams' managers don't always owe this, and even they sometimes give it. When you get an established top flight team relegated, you give an apology even if you think you've just been unlucky. Fourth, YOU have been asked the question of whether YOU think we deserve an apology. And you've ducked it like everything else.

"I don't get anybody coming up to me and saying they deserve an apology."

Blatantly not true, and if it is, it's because nobody can get near you if they don't want to swallow your cock. Or because all they can bring themselves to say is "W@NKER!!! W@NKERRRRR!!!!"

[Gav]

KEAN OUT

[he6rt6gr6m]

"I live in the area..."

"I don't know who [MP Graham Jones] is."

[Boner]

He's another bloke who should be worrying about potholes in roads rather that bothering you, Steve.

[RoyRover]

I think ever since we have gotten relegated he has said more delusional, insensitive and false things than in his entire 18 months in charge and that's saying something.

[Guest TheArtistFormallyKnownAsJB]

“I know you’ve been negative Andy – but I would rather be positive. I’m positive. You’ve been negative all season.”

I have to give Cryer the thumbs up for putting this in the paper.

Change the word positive with "completely off my tits" and negative to "realistic"

I'm starting to think that this guy is a substance abuser. Only have I seen similar symptoms to this in alcoholics etc..

[Ferrit]

“I know you’ve been negative Andy – but I would rather be positive. I’m positive. You’ve been negative all season.”

He has to remain positive, he's one of these clowns that always take the positives out of anything.... he could lose his arms and legs but it'd be case of "Oh well, at least i'm not dead"

And why WOULDNT Cryer be negative? We've been absolutely s*** for christ sake, the league doesn't lie.

I hate this clown, genuinely hate him.

“We tried to get a squad that could stay in the leagues. I don’t want to comment about figures and what’s been decided on a financial plan, it was my job to manage the team and I can hold my head high and so can the players.”

Hold your head high? He actually thinks he's done a good job?

I could go through the whole lot of them (his signings). But if you look at Petrovic it has taken him a long time to adapt but I think he will prove a very good player for us.

And I could through most of the players and say the same.

In league 1 maybe, anywhere else he's complete dump. Ah well, we'll only have to wait 12 months to see Petrovic shine.