[Archived] Looks Like Kean Needs Help

[Ralfinho]

Just came across this on Twitter

http://www.prozonesports.com/about-us-careers.html

Looks like Kean needs someone to look at up coming opposition and tell him how to try and beat them.

[Moppy]

Just came across this on Twitter

http://www.prozonesp...us-careers.html

Looks like Kean needs someone to look at up coming opposition and tell him how to try and beat them.

Get your applications in folks.

EDIT - Sorry Ralfinho / mods I reported the above post. Only meant to reply not report.

[thenodrog]

Just came across this on Twitter

http://www.prozonesp...us-careers.html

Looks like Kean needs someone to look at up coming opposition and tell him how to try and beat them.

Qualifications required would leave the current manager for dead! Lets hope the position is Singh's work and has already been filled.

[Ralfinho]

I have just sent a word document titled as my CV and when you open it I have put...

Experience - I AM BETTER THAN STEVE KEAN

We should all email in

[thenodrog]

I have just sent a word document titled as my CV and when you open it I have put...

Experience - I AM BETTER THAN STEVE KEAN

We should all email in

Not good enough I'm afraid ralfinho..... the guy at the Singh public meeting has you beaten hands down. Lest we forget. "I'm a liar, a suck up, I know nothing about football and I'm half Scottish.... can I have a job?"

[philipl]

Re Blackburn opposition analyst's job vacancy; I'd hate to spend all my time analysing Steve Kean.

[tomphil]

Surely coco has a mate who's a shoe in for this job. You know someone who is good at masssaging stats . After all he's not enough mate's there with him yet

[Elegia]

What the hell gonna apply myself and in my interview will tell them that I am good at looking at positives but not learning from them, work hard, stay late, would hit the ground running, had a tough upbringing in Higher Croft, and was once told by my P.E teacher that I was good enough to play for Liverpool in their heyday but only managed to play Sunday league divison 94... often wonder what might have been had i not made up what my teacher said lol

[Nobert]

My first thought from the title was 'well we all know that', but I do think that all the FM players should send CVs based on their gaming for a laugh.

[AllRoverAsia]

Just came across this on Twitter

http://www.prozonesp...us-careers.html

Looks like Kean needs someone to look at up coming opposition and tell him how to try and beat them.

Gizza job

[perthblue02]

You can just imagine the conversation couldn't you -

"Steve Why were we relegated"

"err my assistant coach was at fault"

" But Steve it was your 4rth assistant this season " Turns to his little performing monkey Aggers who whispers something in his ear

Steve -"err its the bloke who provides the stats on the opposition it's his fault"

[Rovermatt]

We should all e-mail a wave of spurious, bullshit applications to that address, citing our abilities on Football Manager and our penchants for spotting the next Phil Jones.

[chaddyrovers]

All football managers have them.

Jose Mourinho had AVB doing that role when he was Chelsea.

I think I should apply for the job. so good at football manager.

[SAS]

Just 'Applied'

[MarkBRFC71]

Well you'd need something Kean clearly lacks - "A strong football knowledge and high level of understanding tactics, roles & responsibilities and patterns of play is crucial".

[bradeagle]

Wonder what the job description will be when the first team managers position eventually comes up.....

Essential Criteria:

Talk complete nonsense

Desirable:

Experience collecting in bibs and cones

[windymiller7]

Steve, only my first week in the job I know, but i've been to watch ????? (fill in team name of your choice) and one thing I've noticed which could cause us a problem is that they try to score goals. This often involves players advancing towards our goal, but don't worry about it, I've worked out how to counteract it. What we need to do is STOP BACKING OFF LIKE A BUNCH OF GIRLS AND PUT A F*^$%^G TACKLE IN!!!

[Glenn]

Behave y'all. The club has enough problem without having to wade through comedy CVs looking for the real ones.

[Ralfinho]

It worries me that Rovers even advertise like this. Shouldn't they be head-hunting instead?

I bet they tried that strategy of head hunting but they were kindly rejected on numerous occasions for some strange reason

[Glenn]

To be fair. It wasn't Rovers who advertised it. I happened to spotted it on twitter from a ProZone employee, not a Rovers one.

[Al]

Behave y'all. The club has enough problem without having to wade through comedy CVs looking for the real ones.

That's the general idea Glen.

[promoted2001]

To whom it may concern,

I would like to put my name forward for the opposition analyst job. My main skills:

• 10 years experience managing clubs including Manchester Utd, Newcastle, Barcelona, Espanol, Liverpool, Man City and England winning dozens on trophies (on Football manager)
  
• Highly skilled in Steve Kean's tactics - once you score sit back and soak up all the pressure in your own half or if you're away to a better team don't you even dare leave your own half.
  
• I am also highly knowledgeable in Kean's roles and responsibilities within the team and can stress to players that they will only play if they give some positive PR for Steve Kean and his cronies.
  
• Willing to be a fall guy - need someone to blame a drink driving charge on? Poor performance? Something stupid said in public? I'm your guy.
  
• I can produce office documents that even a bald chimp-like retard could understand.
  
• I am good at learning new names so I can keep up with the ins and outs of the First team coaching staff.
  
• I cook a mean Chicken Casserole that would even meet David Dunn's standards.
  

[yoda]

If they require this from someone to help coco

"

Opposition Analyst: Blackburn Rovers Performance Analysis Department

Blackburn Rovers’ Performance Analysis Department are looking for a highly skilled and motivated individual to join them; becoming their new Opposition Analyst.

Based at Blackburn Rovers' Senior Training Centre, the successful candidate will analyse the upcoming opponents and deliver that information to key first team personnel. The role requires the successful candidate to perform a variety of duties within the Performance Analysis Department and having the ability to work well as part of a well established department is essential.

The successful candidate must have a positive and proactive attitude, a willingness to work flexible hours and also at weekends. A strong passion for the game and the desire to constantly develop their skills, both practically and intellectually, are essential for this role.

Requirements for this role are as follows:

- An undergraduate degree in Sports Coaching or relevant subject

- Minimum of 2 years experience working within a professional sports team/organisation

- Experience of working with Performance Analysis software, especially Prozone and SportsCode

- Experience using Microsoft Office products (PowerPoint, Excel, Word, Outlook)

- A strong football knowledge and high level of understanding tactics, roles & responsibilities and patterns of play is crucial

- The ability to effectively understand, interpret and present data and information to various members of the first team staff

- FA/UEFA Coaching Qualifications are desirable

The closing date for applications is Sunday 26th August 2012 at 11pm.

If interested, please send your CV and covering letter outlining your suitability for this role to [email protected]"

HOW THE (Please don't use that word again) DID COCO GET THE JOB IN THE 1ST PLACE

[thenodrog]

Requirements

An undergraduate degree in Sports Coaching or relevant subject

- Minimum of 2 years experience working within a professional sports team/organisation

- Experience of working with Performance Analysis software, especially Prozone and SportsCode

- Experience using Microsoft Office products (PowerPoint, Excel, Word, Outlook)

- A strong football knowledge and high level of understanding tactics, roles & responsibilities and patterns of play is crucial

- The ability to effectively understand, interpret and present data and information to various members of the first team staff

- FA/UEFA Coaching Qualifications are desirable

So thats it then. Should MU manager (and Steve Kean's part time apologist) Alex Ferguson seek a bit of part time employment when he eventually packs it in at Old Trafford he won't be considered at Ewood cos he isn't qualified enough to run the rule over our next opponents.

btw....."An undergraduate degree in Sports Coaching or relevant subject" What a load of bollockz! Does actual experience of playing the game count for nowt? It seems any random computer geek with championship manager experience is 3/4 the way there.

If that constitutes a 3 year degree course these days then I'm happy to remain thick.

[thenodrog]

Just as an aside and whilst we are talking of coaching qualifications....... Just what happened to the ever so knowledgeable 4-4-2 brigade who were so vociferous in their condemnation of the more popular 4-5-1 which is employed by most top teams and which we played under the last manager? They do appear to have left the room.