[Archived] February Review

[bob fleming]

February Review

Welcome back. This time it was February, that shortest and most peculiar of months. One that throws an extra day in completely at random, seemingly whenever it feels like it, every few years, ‘cause it can. A very strange month then. Almost psychotic in its approach to not having anything like the normal amount of days in it, all in all a bit of a moody bitch.

February was also a big month for Blackburn Rovers as well. If we were going to make a bid for the Play Offs then round about now was the time to do it. Now or January in all honesty.

If we were going to get into the top six then Jordan Rhodes, a man who apparently only scores when he wants, could perhaps avail himself to do so a bit more often? It would help. Perhaps if he saw fit to score five in the first ten minutes of games we would all be a lot happier. But no, not Jordan Rhodes, he scores when he wants, not when we want him to.

I wonder if Jordan was born in February?

Friday 1^st February

Those of you with memories and heads will recall that there were a few, er, “issues” with the end of the January transfer window. Although a full explanation was not forthcoming from the powers that be at the club it was widely assumed that there was an issue with the fax machine. Well, when I say “widely assumed” I mean I made that up for the purposes of this post / column / blog / gibberish.

To ensure there would be no further “issues”, a new state of the art fax machine was brought to the club and the old one taken away and beaten into tiny pieces behind the Riverside by hired hoods.

Carefully chosen by Venky’s after they had a quick butchers on e-bay, it was thought that the new fax machine would bring Rovers kicking and screaming, whilst making ridiculously loud squealing noises, into the 19^th Century.

New Fax Machine “The Beast” - 4.5 year contract, 40K a week, no medical. Can’t play central midfield: Paul Agnew, pictured, at the controls of “The Beast” on February 6th. Diligently directing fax operations and other stuff.

Saturday 2^nd February – Rovers 2 Bristol City 0 (Rhodes and Rhodes)

So after the debacle that was the end of the transfer window, Rovers returned to action with the visit of lowly Bristol City. And our highly paid men put them to the blue and white sword with a minimum of fuss, this despite Rovers not having one of their better days.

Jordan Rhodes, of course, scored in the first half. This guy is dynamite in front of goal. I actually think he’s getting better, better movement, stronger.

And yes, I will say it as well, in case you forgot, his second goal in the 2^nd half was exactly like Shearer - but with more finesse. Whereas Shearer would have just blasted the second goal past, or even at, a terrified goalkeeper, Rhodes just nonchalantly placed the ball in the bottom corner. He made it look easy. However, it was the run that most reminded me of Big Al. Strong, and clever, he made sure his body was between the ball and the hapless defender, leaving him no chance.

Good stuff all round. A comfortable win to say the least.

Tuesday 5^th February – Obviously. Jordan Rhodes turned 23.

Thursday 7^th February – Around about this date anyway, Andy Cryer, Rovers correspondent for the Lancashire Telegraph announced that he is leaving. Always a very negative man Andy, particularly when dealing with patronising bullsh1tters and liars, he has put a good stint in. I’m sure that if he ever covers another football club again in his career it won’t be as mad as this one has been over the last couple of years.

Saturday 9^th February – Rovers 1 Ipswich Town 0 – (Rhodes)

Disciplined. Very disciplined. Workmanlike. A workhorse of a performance. Controlled. Solid, Accomplished. Professional. Tight. Yet lacking in flair.

Still who cares! We tried the Barcelona way two caretakers and a manager ago and for some strange reason it just didn’t work.

Jordan Rhodes scored the winner, making the keeper score using his own foot. That’s how good this guy is. Not only does he score when he wants but he can make other people score when they don’t want. That’s what 8 million can buy you these days. Mind control.

Not only that but he claimed the goal and equalled the club record for scoring in consecutive league matches! Very well done, Sir!

A bright spot on a cliched utterly miserable existence.

Also on this day, DJ Campbell (“The Beast’s” first loan signing), resplendent with comedy Shebby Singh ‘tache, made his debut. Not only that but he’s kept the ‘tache on ever since! Brilliant!

And they say there’s no characters in football anymore.

Like a rising majestic thing, we rose majestically to seventh in the table and all of a sudden things were looking rather promising. One or two fans were even described as happy in some quarters.

How foolish of them, misery is the order of the day. As we all know, it’s one disappointment after another following Rovers. Two relegations in 33 years are hardly glossed over by the two promotions, two Charity Shield appearances, Full Members Cup Win, umpteen European trips, FA Cup Semi Finals, League Cup Win, winning promotion at Wembley and winning the Premier League. They always let us down, always. Anyway, moving on...

Tuesday 12^th February – Brighton and Hove Albion 1 Rovers 1 (Vincent / Rhodes Dann)

The misery of having to travel down the motorway for a meeting at Heathrow – an evening meeting at that (no, not that sort of meeting) – and stopping at Norton Canes services to see many a brave and hardy Rovers fan en route. A great effort from those fans.

While I’m here a big shout out to BRFCS person Kiwiwannabe (or to give her her proper name Kiwi Wannabe) for entering the 92 Club. Hats off!

I’ve not a clue about this game. Let’s say / pretend it was a fantastic attacking performance with our midfield dictating play. Dann scored a header from 35 yards and Brighton equalised in the 98^th minute with a penalty.

If you want match reports do read Parson Blue’s. Quality.

Thursday 14^th February. Just before the window slammed shut, for a bit, Rovers re-entered the market and “The Beast” spluttered into life once more. Hot on the heels of Lee Williamson (who?!?), Karim Rekik signed on loan from Man City. A good player someone once said I think.

But it didn’t end there…

Friday 15^th February. Aggers and Shelfy continued to work their little cotton socks off to keep that mother’s fire burning for seven straight hours. Coal, numerous contracts and applications were thrown in. Frivolous and carefree was their approach.

At the end of it all it was worth it: a piece of paper dropped out. On it was the name “David Bentley”, he was ours on loan, all sobered up after his trip to Spain. Or was it Spurs? Anyway, welcome back to Rovers (it’s changed a bit) and welcome back to football David.

Saturday 16^th February – Michael Appleton was on Football Focus, a football programme on BBC1 I’ve been told. It struck me that he’s only 37, and that’s the same age as Danny Murphy. I wondered how he could command respect in that case? However, by the end of the interview it was clear that he is very much the boss, very much in charge and not a person you would want to cross.

That’s what my perception was anyway – and how you are perceived is so very important, right? Hey I might be wrong, but that’s what I perceived at the time.

"We've not had any contact from Shebby since I've been here," Appleton said. "He knows my number. He knows where I am. I'm not sure what he's doing at the moment but, if he's global advising, he's certainly not advising me."

Make of that what you will.

Elsewhere on this day: FA Cup 5^th Round: Arsenal 0 Rovers 1

A good away win. Not bad. Only Arsenal, though, wasn’t it? I mean Bayern Munich got three a couple of days later. Big Colin Ego scored for us hitting the ball into the ground and up into the net off a post, leaving the keeper with no chance!

One of the happier days during the Venky’s debacle to say the very least. Into the last 8 we go.

Sunday 17^th February - Around about now Appy Appleton started to say things along the lines of “I’d be very surprised it we don’t have a couple of new loan signings in for the Hull game..” and such like. That’s two more loan signings by the way.

We draw Millwall Away in the Cup. Yeah, I know you know.

Tuesday 19^th February - And then, as they always let us down, all the time, ever. REALITY CHECK…… Hull City 2 - 0 Rovers (Elmo Hamady, Gedo)

I didn’t turn up, neither did the team. The players must be saving themselves for the Millwall and burnley games, eh?

A Tiger: Finding it all a bit too….

Thursday 21^st February - Appleton mentioned that he would be very surprised if he didn’t have a couple of loan signings in for the Leeds match.

Saturday 23rd February - Rovers 0 - 0 Dirty Leeds United

Solid, dire, turgid, no attacking options, no goal off the keeper. Could have lost it, could have done better. Could have written more words.

Didn’t.

Sunday 24^th February – despite the nil-nil draw with dirty Leeds, all was not lost. Appleton was talking positively and explained that he was optimistic that Rovers would probably have a couple of loan signings in ready for Leicester City away.

Tuesday 26^th February - Leicester City 3 Rovers 0 (three headers, Someone, Someone and then Someone Else)

I didn’t turn up, neither did the team. The players must be saving themselves for the Millwall and burnley games, eh?

Hopefully they’ll remember how to jump by then.

A Fox: …..Easy

Wednesday 27^th February – Rovers do not announce that they won’t be finding the 120,000 pounds needed to fund the Rovers Ladies team to play in the second level of their league. Preferring instead to not do the paperwork required and instead pay Shebby Singh that amount every calendar quarter in order to support whatever it is he is doing at the moment on a global scale.

Meanwhile, forgotten bearded man / tramp Gael Givet, aka the French God of Thunder and Alleged Stroppiness, tells the Big Issue that if it wasn’t for his wife and family he would probably have hung himself by now. Blimey. steady on Gael!! Just stop reading BRFCS for a bit, that’ll cheer you up!

Thursday 28^th February. Not so Appy Appleton tells the LT that the players now need to shape up if they want to play a part next season. Otherwise, presumably, the club would pay up their contracts and let them leave. Any who would want that hanging over them? Ruthless Rovers.

After all with the exception of a handful would you buy many of them?

Appleton also stated, it had been a couple of days after all, that he would be absolutely gobsmacked if he didn’t have at least two players in ready for the big game against Peterborough United. Rumours that with Staples closing down “The Beast” had stopped working were unfounded, probably. The fact that you can’t buy “Beast Paper” refills anywhere else in Western Europe, has had no effect whatsoever on the club’s intention to bring in a couple of loan signings.

Finally a slight departure. There was a thread last month that stated Venky’s had put 24 million of their own money into the club. Good news, eh? Shouldn’t we all be happy?

It was barely mentioned. It certainly wasn’t celebrated. There is no trust here, and there never will be. Bridges have long since been burnt. The following post from BRFCS member Paul kind of sums up exactly where we are as a club, I hope you don’t mind my quoting you, Paul. He is only surmising here but let’s be honest, I bet he’s not far wrong, and if you think he's wrong can you please show me something to base your confidence on?

“The response to this is Venkys appear to already have put the 25m into the club. VLL recently issued 24,388,000 shares at 1 each. Presumably this is to cover current operating losses. How next season will be dealt with is anyone's guess.

I'd agree we need to clear out many highly paid players but this realistically means paying up their contracts. How many on here would accept a 50% or more pay cut to leave Ewood?

The REALLY BIG question which needs answering is where has the 24m come from?

The Raos own pockets?

Outside investors? A new shareholder would have to be registered

Mortgaging the parachute payments?

http://m.guardian.co...league-payments

I believe this is our situation. I think we have borrowed against the next two years parachute payments, 24m as it happens, to fund the current operating losses.

Rhodes will be sold this summer to begin funding next season's operating losses.

Happy days. Forget sorting out the midfield, the bank account needs fettling first.”

Ah yes, the fettling midfield. We have Murphy, Etuhu, Dunn, Lowe, Morten, Williamson, Bentley. That’s 7 players alone there (I’ve not even looked at the young players) who can / do play central midfield. How much do we pay those players a year? I bet it’s over half of next year’s parachute payment (£16m) and certainly more than the following year's (£8m).

Anyway, on that rather sobering, fun free thought… It’s Peterborough at home today!… and we brought in a new player on loan yesterday in Cameron Stewart, left winger, from Hull. So there you go.

This time next month let’s hope we’ve beaten them and booked a place at Wembley. It’s a big month March, it’s certainly got more days in it.

Summary at the end of February:

Played: 34

Goal Difference: -1

Points: 45

Position: 11^th

FA Cup: W3 D0 L0. GD+6. 100% win record!

Top Goalscorers:

Jordan Rhodes 21

This post has been promoted to an article

[Stuart]

A month in the life of a Blackburn Rovers supporter... (in any order!)

Nice one Bob.

[1864roverite]

Its a great read Bob, made me chuckle then at the end I froze having missed what Paul had written earlier in the month.

In bad times Bib always makes a Rover smile.

[Ozz]

I'd be tempted to give The Beast 60 minutes in midfield on Tuesday if I was boss.

February Fact Bob-We played 7 games in 28 days, a match every four days.

Brill review,thanks for making the effort. More than can be said for the players.

[Stuart]

February Fact Bob-We played 7 games in 28 days, a match every four days.

That is pretty ridiculous. Par for the Championship though.

IMHO This division needs to jettison 4 teams.

[Rover_Shaun]

IMHO This division needs to jettison 4 teams.

Let's make it easier to get out of this league.....wahey!!!!!

[Kiwiwannabe]

I feel honoured getting a mention in Bob's review - thank you.

"Blimey. steady on Gael!! Just stop reading BRFCS for a bit, that’ll cheer you up!" - classic!!!