[Archived] Who's the worst football player you've ever seen.

[Alex Rover]

So as the season has ended and not much is going on (on the pitch that is) a comment from another thread made me think of a new topic that I don't think has been done for a while.

Who's the worst football player you've ever seen?

Mine is Carlton Palmer. He's a player I can't understand. How did he make it as a footballer? At any standard. Nevermind as a professional, as a Premier League player who people picked for their team, who people bought for £millions who won 18 caps for England.

It doesn't make any sense to me. He actually couldn't play the game. Sometimes players of less ability have at least one redeeming feature. some would do not a lot but could score lots of goals, some be good at breaking up play or be able to put in a good cross for example.

Carlton could do none of these things. I suppose you could say he ran around a bit but he wasn't able to do the act of running very well either in fact he seemed like he had problems just being able to stand up.

Now obviously better people than me saw things very differently so much so that me was judged on 18 occasions to be one of the 2 best central midfield players in the world able to represent England. No mean feat but I still don't understand.

I think Dave Jones put it well; "He covers every blade of grass out there, but that's only because his first touch is so crap".

[LDRover]

I know he's an honest tryer but for sheer lack of ability I'd have to say Jason Lowe.

I can't think of anything (apart from run) that he can actually do on a football pitch.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

That little full back we had when Woy boy was managing us. Patrick Valery, the only pro footballer I've ever seen that couldn't actually jump off the ground.

[Salgado Is A Hero]

I think Dave Jones put it well; "He covers every blade of grass out there, but that's only because his first touch is so crap".

Haha. Apparently someone once said of him "he could trap the ball further than most could kick it."

Like I said on the other thread, Peter Whittingham is the worst player I've ever seen live. I think it was against Chelsea in a League Cup game at Villa Park in about 2004. (Nope, 2003, League Cup Quarter Final, 2-1 Villa.)

I laughed when my Cardiff housemate at Uni told me he was one of their best players. Then I saw him and he was actually pretty good. Baffling that he became a professional footballer. He looked like he had never seen a football match before when I saw him live as it looked like he had no idea what he was meant to be doing.

He had no semblance of positioning at all and I found myself watching him more than the game because it was actually quite amusing watching him run around the place, seemingly at random.

Peter Crouch then came on as a sub for Villa and he was shocking as well.

The best I've seen live was probably Woodgate for Newcastle. Unbelievable player, was not surprised in the slightest when Real Madrid signed him. Shearer, Lucio, Arjen Robben, Thiago Silva and Neymar run him pretty close.

[Aberdeen Blue]

Myles Anderson by a country mile.

[T.J.Newton]

From our current squad id have to agree with the above, as mean as it sounds criticising a young player, though he's a grafter Lowe just seems to have the absolute minimal footballing ability(defensively, attacking or just keeping possession of the ball!) though to be fair from what i so Edinho was truly terrible.

£ for pound Grabbi has to be our worst player of the last 25 years(though he did have lovely hair)

Premier leagues 1st(i think)and worst ever Italian player- Andrea Silenzi

The infamous souness signing- Ali Dia

(and possibly every player signed by souness whilst at Newcastle?)

Jason Lee(He had a pineapple on his head you know!)

[Bendrover]

Marcus Olsson has got to be up there. Nile Ranger formally of Newcastle aswell, plus he is a complete tw@t

[Sandiway Blue]

Dicky Brown.

[matt83]

That goulon who played at old trafford when lost heavily. Danny murphy in a rovers shirt without his reputation to fall back on would come close in the dreadful steaks.

[T4E]

As a pure awful player I'd have to say Keith Treacy.

In terms of players who have somehow managed to make a good living for a long time despite being utter rubbish, it's pretty hard to look past Morten Gamst Pedersen.

[Alex Rover]

What about any footballer, not just Rovers

[T4E]

Oh, and Brett Emerton.

[saxo1man30]

Dicky Brown.

yep, richard brown, bless him. he waddled like a duck, hilarious.

[T.J.Newton]

Oh, and Brett Emerton.

come on!!! your kiddin right?

He wasn't quite the type of player we were led to believe he was when he signed, but still created loads and offered good cover in almost every position on the pitch.

Jordi Cruyf, cant belief he got so many games at man u, he was poor.

[Head Rover Heels]

Didn't even have to think about this one.

Darren peacock. Simply awful.

Although you do make a darn good case for Carlton palmer. I never understood how he stole a living so easily.

[McClarky]

Ashley Ward, would be better fielding a statue up front. He was useless.

[Tom]

Seriously the worst player I have seen in a rovers shirt is probably Edinho Junior

It was literally akin to watching a 12 year old wander on the pitch

He has age on his side but had nothing literally nothing at all to show

[K-Hod]

Herald Goulon at OT when we got slapped 7-1 will take some beating.

[T4E]

but still created loads

:lol:

[broadsword]

Another vote for Peacock.

I'm staggered how he ever made it as a professional footballer. Absolutely gob-smacking. The ball was like a hot potato smeared in butter to him.

[AspRover]

You know, this brings to mind the time I went with a Bournemouth supporting mate (now very happy at the prospect of giving us a thumping next year...) to see them play Brentford (I think). He was going on about this lad they'd just signed on loan, about how highly thought of he was by his PL club, that he'd tear up the division and be the next big thing for the England U21s.

As we sat down to watch the game he pointed the player out, playing as the striker, and I watched with interest as he shinned every ball he tried to control, bounced off the defenders and fell over. A lot. In his defence he might have had the wrong studs in or something, but he was hitting the turf when the ball was on the other side of the pitch and no-one was within five yards of him. His shooting was seriously worrying the corner flags and, if I remember correctly, he completely spooned the one good chance that fell his way.

As we left the ground I confidently said to my mate that the player was without a doubt the worst I had ever seen and would probably sink without trace.

The subsequent career of Jermaine Defoe is probably a warning against writing off any player too early or off the back of a handful of performances.

[T.J.Newton]

:lol:

ok fair doos, well maybe not loads(though he did create plenty in his 1st season), still a quality reliable team player though, that was missed on the right side after his abrupt departure!(and he always seemed to play very well for his national team)

[Salgado Is A Hero]

Emerton played well if I recall when we were dragged into that relegation battle a few seasons ago. Scored a couple of goals against Utd and Wolves as well. Either way, his name should be nowhere near this thread.

[Waggy76]

Bradley Orr is up there for me along with Goodwillie ..

Going back in time John lowey , John O'Mara , Christian dailly ...

Tony Finnigan apart from scoring at Burnley was pretty clueless...

Emerton played well if I recall when we were dragged into that relegation battle a few seasons ago. Scored a couple of goals against Utd and Wolves as well. Either way, his name should be nowhere near this thread.

Very True !

[Roost]

Herald Goulon at OT when we got slapped 7-1 will take some beating.

You must have missed his appearance at Goodison Park then.

That Jonjo Shelvy (sp) is another chronic player. brendan loves him - says it all really