[Archived] Friday Funnies

[colin]

Almost certainly done the rounds before.....

Call centre conversations

Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".

Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?"

Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):

"If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

Customer: "OK".

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No".

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

[American]

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp

Not quite.....

[colin]

Thanks American,

I thought the last one was too good to be true.

[American]

I like that it was based in reality, though...

[fee]

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.

He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."

The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray.

He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."

The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

[cletus]

Two young brothers get called down for breakfast.

Mum asks the oldest one what cerial he wants.

Cockily the brother says "I`ll have f###### coco-pops!"

Mum turns quickly & gives him a slap across his face & shouts "GET TO YOUR ROOM!!! "

He runs out crying.

Mother tries to regain her composure & asks the younger child what he`d like for breakfast.

The child looking quite worried says "well i don`t want f###### coco-pops!! "

[Presty On Tour]

Why Is The Head Larger Than The Shaft?

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the

head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year

and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger

than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own

study. After $250,000, and 3 years of research, they concluded

that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own

study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded

that it was to keep man's hand from flying off and hitting him in

the forehead.

[cletus]

A woman decided to spice up her marital sex life by wearing a pair of crotchless panties.

She donned the knickers & went downstairs to where her husband was watching tv.

Sitting opposite to him & being provocative she tried to catch his eye by crossing & uncrossing her legs & generally acting sexy.

After a while her husband looked over & asked "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

"yes i am" she replied.

"Thank f### for that...." he said "...i thought the the sofa had burst for a minute!"

[Grabbi Graeme]

Patrick Swayze wont be doing another Dirty Dancing movie but he might be remaking Ghost in the next 5 weeks or so.

[cletus]

Read a good 'text' printed in the Star yesterday. It read....

David Blane is devastated.

His record of 49days in a box doing f###-all has been shattered by Michael Owen!

[colin]

well, it's better than having sex with a bike in a hotel room

[Paul]

And in 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs

How would one achieve that?

[cletus]

I`m stuck on this, can anyone help?

Q...Name the town?

_________

[/......I.....

[.......0.....

[....../I\....

[......./\....

[ .............

[________

B R _ D G _ _ D

[Paul]

I`m stuck on this, can anyone help?

Q...Name the town?

_________

[/......I.....

[.......0.....

[....../I\....

[......./\....

[ .............

[________

B R _ D G _ _ D

At a straight guess and not having tried to decispher the thing above - Bridgend. In Wales I believe.

[cletus]

Q.....what`s big, black, hairy & stuck to an arsehole?

A.....Alistair Darling`s eyebrows

Q....Why are women like clouds?

A....Cos when the ####-off, it`s usually a nice day

[Wolverine]

Could only think of putting this here...

Just been watching BBC News 24 and they were talking about the elections in Iran, with the heading all the way through "IRANIAN ELECIONS"[sic], followed by a report on dyslexia. It made me laugh anyway...

[Anti-Dingle-Brigade]

Long read, but worth it. Guaranteed laugh out loud quality.

Never use your mobile in the bathroom

All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioningcomputer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for my wife. I completed this task, and as I waswalking past the stores on my way backto the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience:

0.Occupied.

1.Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.

2.Poo on seat.

3.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.

4.No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet.

Clearly, it had to be Stall ..1. I trudged back, entered, dropped trousers and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Sh1tter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.

I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Sh1tter was blathering to Mrs. Sh1tter about the sh1tty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.

Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.

Once my @ss cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became

apparent:

(1) The next-door conversation had ceased;

(2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come;

and

(3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench.

It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.

"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"

Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride.

Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.

Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bumat the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone in.

There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks

plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.

As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.

I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never

talk on your phone in the bathroom.

[ABBEY]

dont know if this has been posted but it made me chuckle

[adopted scouser]

What's the difference between Australia and a pot of yoghurt?

If you leave the lid off a pot of yoghurt it will eventually develop a culture

*******************************************

During a recent interview about football legends, Emile Heskey was asked "What did you think of that Rummenigge?" to which he replied "What rumour?"

[Ozz]

During a recent interview about football legends, Emile Heskey was asked "What did you think of that Rummenigge?" to which he replied "What rumour?"

Nice to see that joke get a run out on its 26th birthday AS!

[cletus]

I crapped myself yesterday! I was in a bar at Manchester airport, when a muslim ran in shouting "Allah Allah Allah allava coke & a packet of peanuts please!"

Bloody stuttering muslims!

Q....What`s the definition of irony?

A....Shakin` Stevens getting Parkinsons Disease

........i`ll get me coat

[1864roverite]

Subject: Fw: Surrogate Fathers.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' ;

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted.

[1864roverite]

Tale of the Irish Sausage

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't

have a lot of money between them, they could only

raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out

with one large sausage.

Shamus said 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any

money left at all!'

Murphy replied, 'Don't worry - just follow me.'

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two

pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much

trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!'

Murphy replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, I have a

plan, Cheers!'

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, 'OK, I'll stick

the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees

and put it in your mouth.'

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them

out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and

more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said 'Murphy - I don't think I

can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are

killin' me!'

Murphy said, 'How do you think I feel? I lost the

sausage in the third pub.

[1864roverite]

Chili Cook-Off

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope

for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed

to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the

first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is.

They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes

around.

It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City

Park .

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting

from Springfield , IL .

Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili

cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I

happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for

directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was

assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't

be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer

during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.'

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could

remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the

flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken

seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what

I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who

wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer

when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels

like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get

me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my

backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting s***-faced from

all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice.

Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or

other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable

to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer

maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is

starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is

chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding

considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must

admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I

can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed

paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her

chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by

pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my

lips off.

It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bol d vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of

spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic.

Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,

sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it

will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me

except Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a

snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of

chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried

about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is

cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin,and I

wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds

like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which

slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my

shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've

decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting

any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the

4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too

bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild

nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,

passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.

Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have

reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

[1864roverite]

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a

deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and

sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor

about her baby.

The doctor replies, 'Ma'am, you had twins.... a boy and a girl. The

babies are fine, However, they were poorly at birth and had to be

christened immediately so your brother Paddy came in and named them.

The woman thinks to herself, ' Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother

he's a clueless eejit... Expecting the worst, she asks the

doctor,' Well, what's my daughter's name?'

'Denise' says the doctor.

The new mother is somewhat relieved, 'Wow, that's a really beautiful name,'I guess I was wrong about my brother',

she thought....'I really like Denise

Then she asks, ' Whats the boy's name?'

.

.

.

The doctor replies ' Denephew '