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[Archived] Friday Funnies

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  • 3 weeks later...
Grabbi Graeme Uefa Europa League

Grabbi Graeme

Posted
Posted

In light of the recent gun incident involving Ashley Cole, Roman Abramovich has put his own brand of gun onto the market, it's called a Cole Ashley Kov

Apparently Gaddafi has made a £40 million bid for Ashley Cole as he has heard how good he is at shooting students.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Grabbi Graeme Uefa Europa League

Grabbi Graeme

Posted
Posted

My mates asked me if I wanted to rob a bank in a French Town, but I said no, there's too much Toulouse.

When I was at school I belonged to a gang called The Secret Seven and we were sworn to secrecy.

We were so good that I never found out who the other six were.

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philipl World Cup

philipl

Posted
Posted

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

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philipl World Cup

philipl

Posted
Posted

YOU KNOW YOUR LIVING IN 2011 WHEN...........

1. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer

2. You learn about your redundancy on the news

3. You'd rather search all around the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the t.v

4. You cant go anywhere without your mobile, leaving it behind causes you to panic

6. You get up in the morning and go online before breakfast

7. Every t.v advert has a website

8. You read this agree and smile

9. You didnt notice there was no number 5

10.You actually looked up to check if there was a number 5

11.Now your laughing at your stupidity

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

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bazza Champions League

bazza

Posted
Posted

Man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you."

She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"

He replies, "It's me.............talking to the beer."

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Billy Castell Champions League

Billy Castell

Posted
Posted

There is an English man, a Scotsman and a Polish man sitting on a train in some remote part of the world. The Polish man searches in his bag, pulls out a sausage, takes one bite and throws the rest out the window. The English man asks "why did you do that?", to which the Polish man replies "I'm from Poland, and we have loads of sausages so we can afford to waste them."

Next, the Scotsman takes out a bottle of whiskey, takes a sip, then throws the bottle out the window. The other two give him a curious look and the Scotsman responds by saying "Well we have so many distilleries producing so much whiskey that we don't know what to do with them, we have too much whiskey" A short time later, the English man suddenlly grabs the Polish man and throws him out the window. The Scotsman shouts "Why the hell did you do that??!!!" The Englishman replies, "I'm from England and there are so many of those we don't know what to do with them."

---------------------------------------------------

. He even quotes Stan Ternant around 6 min 20 secs.
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rebelmswar World Cup

rebelmswar

Posted
Posted

There is an English man, a Scotsman and a Polish man sitting on a train in some remote part of the world. The Polish man searches in his bag, pulls out a sausage, takes one bite and throws the rest out the window. The English man asks "why did you do that?", to which the Polish man replies "I'm from Poland, and we have loads of sausages so we can afford to waste them."

Next, the Scotsman takes out a bottle of whiskey, takes a sip, then throws the bottle out the window. The other two give him a curious look and the Scotsman responds by saying "Well we have so many distilleries producing so much whiskey that we don't know what to do with them, we have too much whiskey" A short time later, the English man suddenlly grabs the Polish man and throws him out the window. The Scotsman shouts "Why the hell did you do that??!!!" The Englishman replies, "I'm from England and there are so many of those we don't know what to do with them."

---------------------------------------------------

. He even quotes Stan Ternant around 6 min 20 secs.

Yetidog is going to be on you like a dog on its nuts.

Maybe.....

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colin Champions League

colin

Posted
Posted

At Turf Moor last week a Burnley fan was spotted climbing over the wall at half time.

The stewards grabbed him, dragged him back inside and made him watch the second half.

I thank you ladeezngennlemen

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