[Archived] RANT

[Mike E]

People using the word 'swag' or the term 'beast mode'.

And 'neknominate', thankfully I'm not on facebook to witness some of that stupid sh1t.

Best neknominate was a Scottish bloke who just made a cup of tea

[thenodrog]

More like because people from the Wilpshire direction are chancing it by jumping red lights. Yesterday, the 'filter' light (for straight ahead!) wasn't working so people (heading up towards Whitebirk) were stopping as the right turn controlling signal (on the left of the road!) was red.

They need to sort out those signals before there is a rear-end crash as some newbie comes to a halt when they should continue through. Which doesn't just happen when the signal isn't working either.

They need one like this if the don't move them:

At the moment they are both normal lights with only a 'straight ahead' filter on the left green in front of three lanes of traffic! If you aren't used to it people in the middle lane think (illogically) that they are on red.

I nearly totalled a police car cos of threading through those lights years ago. Coming from the preston side and on the inside lane towards Wilpshire and with a police car waiting in the outside lane to go straight up the dual carriageway. I saw THAT nearest red turn to green and set off, the policeman must have been distracted and not paying attention (never own up to that one will they?)saw me go and set off too..... right smack in front of traffic approaching on a green light from Whalley New Road who had to screech to a halt pdq! I left the resulting cacophany of horn blowing and recriminations behind.

Just wish I'd meant to do it!

btw Other traffic lights that are a disgrace and best avoided are Darwen St Bridge from everywhere and Spring Lane from Ewood.

[Al]

More like because people from the Wilpshire direction are chancing it by jumping red lights. Yesterday, the 'filter' light (for straight ahead!) wasn't working so people (heading up towards Whitebirk) were stopping as the right turn controlling signal (on the left of the road!) was red.

They need to sort out those signals before there is a rear-end crash as some newbie comes to a halt when they should continue through. Which doesn't just happen when the signal isn't working either.

They need one like this if the don't move them:

At the moment they are both normal lights with only a 'straight ahead' filter on the left green in front of three lanes of traffic! If you aren't used to it people in the middle lane think (illogically) that they are on red.

One filter light appears to be confusing enough for some drivers. Three is really asking for trouble.

[old darwen blue]

There are no traffic lights in Skelmersdale centre and traffic seems to flow well there. Mind you it is a town of roundabouts.

[Stuart]

One filter light appears to be confusing enough for some drivers. Three is really asking for trouble.

Have you seen it currently?

As it is, it would (normal working conditions) look like this (telling drivers that ahead - two lanes - is go and right - one lane - turn is stop):

This week it has looked like this:

My suggestion might not help in that situation but it would give more of a clue. The configuration at them moment does not allow for them being out of order.

Both traffic lights are side by side on the left hand side of the road!

[Sandiway Blue]

I think it's about time i share the plight of a mate of mine,Pete the feet (don't ask).His rants are legendary and hilarious and always brightens up a dull day....

Since the time I was unfortunate enough to become gluten intolerant.
(How the @#/? did that happen?)
I've been forced on an odyssey to find alternatives to starving to death or inflating to the point of explosion.
I can just about cope with gluten free food being more costly than the petrol bill for a trip to Mars,
I can cope with the fact that there is less diversity and choice on offer than the butty list at the 80's fast food stand in Doncaster that was called 'Sausage Sid’s'
What I can't cope with is the fact that it all tastes so @#/? horrible.
Why in the name of fluffy @#/? is it so crap?
I mean in this day and age they can synthesize stems cells into anything, can create ears on mice for f*cks sake and yet they are seemingly incapable of making chocolate brownies that taste in any way like chocolate brownies.
I bought some of said brownies and found to my horror that the @#/?s taste like bloody leather?!!?
What the @#/? is that all about?
If I wanted that horrid Frankenstein concoction I'd just butter something with Kiwi polish and be done with it wouldn't I?

Pizzas that taste like old keany potato,
Biscuits that taste of potato/rice and dissolve/revert to mashed spuds in a nano second after hitting your cup of tea.

I'm not asking for much, I'm not asking for a level of catering that rivals the Savoy Grill.
All I want is something that won't make me want to put it straight down the toilet and save myself the bother of digesting it in the first bloody place.
While I'm on that particular analogy, I want to point out that 'Fruity Farmhouse Slices' although described as 'Fruity', delicious' and 'full of goodness',do in fact smell distinctly like something that if 100% honest, would be:
'Stale food with a hint of poo.'
When the packet is first opened, they smell like they've already been through a goat that is in far from good health and are monumentally disgusting.

The 'garlic bread' and I use the term 'garlic bread' in it's widest possible encompassing form by the way, does in fact have nothing whatsoever in common with the 'Garlic bread' we all know and love.
It looks like a garlic bread, It smells like a garlic bread but actually tastes like a cross between a mouldy potato/rice cake that has (Very) faint garlicky grease overtones that suggest a Frenchman has wiped his arse on it.
I've had enough, I'm going to compose some letters of complaint to these highwaymen of culinary f*ckery that masquerade as food vendors and tell the robbing shitehouses exactly what I think of them.
It wouldn't be as bad I suppose if the items in question were so expensive. The simple factis that to buy two loaves and a packet of poo cakes I'd probably have to sell a kidney or at least my arse.

The 'Free from section' is continually free from food or at least 'free from' anything edible at all most times.
The little things that are a bit less than 'Uber keany' soon sell out as there is usually only two of them at any one time and are so completely out of stock that I'm having doubts as to whether some of them actually exist at all in this dimension.
If they served food this bad in jail they’d be rioting and setting fire to their beds.
If the government served food like this in hospitals there'd be an enquiry into it by the European court of Human Rights.

It's terrible enough that the checkout girls look at me and think, '@#/? hell, you must be a greedy b*stard to be fat on this @#/?.' without being continually tortured by the low 'eat-ability' of this blight on the world.
If it wasn't for the highly developed cooking skills of my good lady I'd be in utter despair I can tell you for free.

[thenodrog]

Looks like a marketing opportunity for someone with enterprise.

[cn174]

I think it's about time i share the plight of a mate of mine,Pete the feet (don't ask).His rants are legendary and hilarious and always brightens up a dull day....

Since the time I was unfortunate enough to become gluten intolerant.

(How the kean did that happen?)

I've been forced on an odyssey to find alternatives to starving to death or inflating to the point of explosion.

...

Nice one

But related to that, people who reckon they are 'intolerant' or 'allergic' to things just cos they don't like it.

[Al]

The bloody medical boffins.

First we were told to give up smoking.

Then we are subjected to sodding units of alcohol.

Then we are not allowed to make our food taste better by adding salt.

Now it's sugar that's bad for us.

Just stay in your laboratories, play with your mice and let the rest of us get on with enjoying our lives.

[thenodrog]

The bloody medical boffins.

First we were told to give up smoking.

Then we are subjected to sodding units of alcohol.

Then we are not allowed to make our food taste better by adding salt.

Now it's sugar that's bad for us.

Just stay in your laboratories, play with your mice and let the rest of us get on with enjoying our lives.

Eggs were bad for 40 years and now they are good. Similarly with butter, much maligned but now apparently margarine is the enemy. These people damage entire industries seemingly without a shred of care or responsibility. For clues as to who benefits look at who funds the research.

[Paul]

Mother knows best! I've maintained all my life the food I was raised on was doing me no harm. Eggs, cheese, milk were all "good for you" and always will be in my view. Simple natural products.

My mother cooked, my mother in law cooked, we cook. Within reason you can eat and drink anything especially if it's home prepared.

Now if I was raised on KFC.......

[Audax]

I bought some gluten free bread, once opened, recommendation is to eat it within 3 days. It went bad in at least 5 days. I have eaten some rice cereal but though that is gluten free, it is not very filling. Did me for a short period of time. All that is a tough road to hoe.

[broadsword]

Bugger bread man, grains are for cattle.

[Steve Kean's Hypnotoad]

The bloody medical boffins.

First we were told to give up smoking.

Then we are subjected to sodding units of alcohol.

Then we are not allowed to make our food taste better by adding salt.

Now it's sugar that's bad for us.

Just stay in your laboratories, play with your mice and let the rest of us get on with enjoying our lives.

See your point but I assume the idea is to save the country money.

Its all well and good saying my smoking isn't harming anyone, but then if it requires about £80k treatment on the NHS for the last 20 years of your life, its a bit of a different story.

[thenodrog]

Mother knows best! I've maintained all my life the food I was raised on was doing me no harm. Eggs, cheese, milk were all "good for you" and always will be in my view. Simple natural products.

My mother cooked, my mother in law cooked, we cook. Within reason you can eat and drink anything especially if it's home prepared.

Now if I was raised on KFC.......

You'd probably glow in the dark!

[thenodrog]

I bought some gluten free bread, once opened, recommendation is to eat it within 3 days. It went bad in at least 5 days. I have eaten some rice cereal but though that is gluten free, it is not very filling. Did me for a short period of time. All that is a tough road to hoe.

Diagnosed with mild diabetes two years ago all I eat now by choice is GI bread bought in Gisburn and sourced in 'Barlick'. Despite a strong lifelong aversion to brown bread I absolutely love this stuff, it tastes really good, freezes well and thaws like a dream. Warburton's white sliced is as far as I am concerned the food of the Devil!

[Al]

See your point but I assume the idea is to save the country money.

Its all well and good saying my smoking isn't harming anyone, but then if it requires about £80k treatment on the NHS for the last 20 years of your life, its a bit of a different story.

Don't take life so seriously pal. Is it not obvious that my post was tongue in cheek. Of course I wouldn't seriously advocate smoking.

Having said that. Whatever I cost the NHS I have paid in in spades during my working life.

[broadsword]

The duty on cigarettes these daysust be bloody eye-watering. Thank god I never took it up.

Alcohol on the other hand I did, thankfully I consume far less these days. The hangovers alone are enough to put me off.

It's sugar that's my vice. Deqr me do I have a sweet tooth

[Dreyski]

Warburton's white sliced is as far as I am concerned the food of the Devil!

Not when it makes a bacon butty!

[Al]

The duty on cigarettes these daysust be bloody eye-watering. Thank god I never took it up.

Alcohol on the other hand I did, thankfully I consume far less these days. The hangovers alone are enough to put me off.

It's sugar that's my vice. Deqr me do I have a sweet tooth

Actually the duty on tobacco is stupidly high. The nanny state profiteering. If the duty was not so cripplingly high less people would be tempted to smuggle thousands of fags back when they go on holiday.

[Sandiway Blue]

See your point but I assume the idea is to save the country money.

Its all well and good saying my smoking isn't harming anyone, but then if it requires about £80k treatment on the NHS for the last 20 years of your life, its a bit of a different story.

In all fairness they've probably paid that in taxes alone (and i'm a none-smoker),successive governments say it's to put people off smoking but in reality if everybody gave up then we'd be in a bigger financial mess and if they wanted to stop people smoking they would ban it altogether.

[Stuart]

In all fairness they've probably paid that in taxes alone (and i'm a none-smoker),successive governments say it's to put people off smoking but in reality if everybody gave up then we'd be in a bigger financial mess and if they wanted to stop people smoking they would ban it altogether.

Don't forget, smokers also need to pay for NHS services for non-smokers who have suffered through passive smoking. Who knows how many innocent bystanders smokers have killed over the years - aside from themselves...

[Amo]

Never fails to amaze me how cannabis is illegal, whereas alcohol is not.

I wonder which is the more damaging to users and society at large?

[Adam C]

Well said Amarillo. Still two wrongs don't make a right and the terrible damage that alcohol wreaks on society does not excuse the small risk of mental damage caused by prolonged use of marijuana.

However in Colorado they have raised $2M from the taxes levied on the first month of sales of cannabis. This money is to be spent on new schools initially with a small portion to be allocated later to different projects. What a clever move and one that I thought I would never see, least of all in America, land of repressive drug laws.

Never mind the injection of funds into an economy recovering from recession; the police are now free to pursue serious crimes and hard drug use and dealing, new businesses have been set up - by the people that would have been imprisoned and possibly led into further crime a year ago - creating a new and flourishing economy, and no doubt criminals and gangsters in Colorado are finding a substantial revenue stream has vanished over night.

What odds that our breed of self-serving, afraid-of-the-tabloids MPs will follow suit or at least reverse the ridiculous move to re-criminalise cannabis?

[Stuart]

Never fails to amaze me how cannabis is illegal, whereas alcohol is not.

I wonder which is the more damaging to users and society at large?

Not a fair comparison based on the numbers game.

It could be argued there are millions of upstanding citizens who drink alcohol responsibly.

Only criminals smoke cannabis.