[Archived] RANT

[T.J.Newton]

Toast going cold just seconds after being removed from the toaster.

[Majiball]

I don't think I'm from Liverpool ! Lived on the Wirral a stones throw from the sea for 15 years and loved it.

You should never change your user name

So you're not from Liverpool, you believe you are, lol. I'd have taken it as the compliment it was intended to be, best thread of the year, well done.

New pet hate: sensitive northerners!

Why should I never change my username? I take it it means something silly in scouse?

It can be a marginal choice but anyone travelling regularly for business is usually better off with a company car. I looked at mine recently as I'm changing cars in two weeks. What Jim doesn't appreciate is the reverse argument. My mileage is such I could claim at least £7000 pa (that's tax free on top of my salary) from the company. On the face of it sufficient to make buying and claiming mileage a good possibility. It all falls down when one looks at the car's value after three years. A three year old car with 90,000 - 100,000 miles on the clock is worth peanuts plus it's reached the point when maintenance starts to become very expensive. Points for Jim: Why should I provide my employer with the tools I need to travel to their customers? Would you be prepared to spend £22000 or more every three years to fund your employment? When my epilepsy meant I couldn't drive for 12 months I could only visit one customer a day using public transport. By car it's 3-5 per day. How would you resolve this? During that period my reclaimed expenses more than doubled and because there was no taxable benefit my income tax reduced. My driving a car earns revenue for HMRC, not driving costs tax as it's all reclaimed by the employer! If I claimed mileage it would cost the company more, net, than providing a car thus increasing costs and reducing efficiency and profitability. Years ago a company car was a really good perk, today the value is added to your income and taxed as such. What's the problem?

I think you should have to use public transport like everyone else, n fact I'd make you ride a bike!

Toast going cold just seconds after being removed from the toaster.

Numpties who can't eat toast before it gets cold!!!!

[Alex Rover]

I'm just going to quote Partridge for my rant;

Lynn: Who's upset you this time?

Alan: Just, people. I just hate the general public.

That about covers it I think.

[thenodrog]

It can be a marginal choice but anyone travelling regularly for business is usually better off with a company car. I looked at mine recently as I'm changing cars in two weeks. What Jim doesn't appreciate is the reverse argument. My mileage is such I could claim at least £7000 pa (that's tax free on top of my salary) from the company. On the face of it sufficient to make buying and claiming mileage a good possibility. It all falls down when one looks at the car's value after three years. A three year old car with 90,000 - 100,000 miles on the clock is worth peanuts plus it's reached the point when maintenance starts to become very expensive. Points for Jim: Why should I provide my employer with the tools I need to travel to their customers? Would you be prepared to spend £22000 or more every three years to fund your employment? When my epilepsy meant I couldn't drive for 12 months I could only visit one customer a day using public transport. By car it's 3-5 per day. How would you resolve this? During that period my reclaimed expenses more than doubled and because there was no taxable benefit my income tax reduced. My driving a car earns revenue for HMRC, not driving costs tax as it's all reclaimed by the employer! If I claimed mileage it would cost the company more, net, than providing a car thus increasing costs and reducing efficiency and profitability. Years ago a company car was a really good perk, today the value is added to your income and taxed as such. What's the problem?

If the position is office based, low mileage and a large engined exec car is required then it's prob even more marginal. Tell you what I've considered in the past and what might suit you Paul... a 5 seater VW transporter. Great for just about everything (and especially so if you want to carry cycles about the country), drives like a car and (I believe) the VAT is fully recoverable.

Problem with jim is that he's living in the past. No doubt a rep with a capri 3 litre and a briefcase nicked his girlfriend way back in the 70's. Hey I've had an even better thought...... it could have been me!

[thenodrog]

New pet hate: sensitive northerners!

'sensitive northeners'? Aren't you from the frozen North Maj? You know the land that time forgot where the men wear frocks and they eat nothing but the parts of sheep that we feed to the dogs.

[dave birch]

Perhaps I shouldn't have bought that V6 4 litre job the other day.

Nice car though, leather seats, sat nav, Bluetooth, auto lights and wipers, tow bar, I can talk to it and it does things, and when I fill it up, I can hear the pump giving me a tax deduction.

What do I do in return? Create a lot of tax revenue for the government, that's what.

I can only get a deduction whilst I'm putting my money at risk.

What do you wage slaves risk? Not your money I'll bet.

[Willie Eckerslike]

Automated menu options when you call any of a growing number of companies

Even worse, layers of the bloody things

'Press 1 for sales or 2 for customer services'

OK I'll press 2

Now press 1 for billing enquiries, 2 to report a fault etc..

Next press 1 if you're wearing a white shirt, 2 if it's raining...

Guaranteed to turn me from a reasonable caller to a wound-up, ready to rant caller every time

[Majiball]

'sensitive northeners'? Aren't you from the frozen North Maj? You know the land that time forgot where the men wear frocks and they eat nothing but the parts of sheep that we feed to the dogs.

I'm not from Burnley.

[broadsword]

Automated menu options when you call any of a growing number of companies

Even worse, layers of the bloody things

'Press 1 for sales or 2 for customer services'

OK I'll press 2

Now press 1 for billing enquiries, 2 to report a fault etc..

Next press 1 if you're wearing a white shirt, 2 if it's raining...

Guaranteed to turn me from a reasonable caller to a wound-up, ready to rant caller every time

Try phoning up the government VAT helpline to get your VAT certificate re-sent.

Holy @#/? Jesus, never known anything like it. Through 4 menus then I get told to ring a different number, I ring that number, go through another 4 menus only to get told to ring a different number. I ring that number and it's out of service.

What the @#/?.

[T.J.Newton]

Numpties who can't eat toast before it gets cold!!!!

How about...passive aggressive "banter" from people/strangers sat behind the comfort of their keyboard.

[Guest Norbert]

This Morning. Idiot TV for passive/aggressive Tory housewives with learning difficulties. You can hear the cogs turning in Holly Wibbly's head as she tries to grasp concepts such as justice, or democracy whilst preparing to put her 'sympathetic' face on for the upcoming feature on kiddy fiddling.

[Mike E]

Is it because you can't get your name on a number plate.

No, it's because plates illegally spaced would be hard to identify. I don't mean private registrations. I mean (for example) T2 ARA being changed to T 2ARA just because it vaguely looks like Zara.

And no need to try and impress by spending 'a couple of grand' on 3 digits. More fool you

[thenodrog]

Try phoning up the government VAT helpline to get your VAT certificate re-sent.

Holy keaning Jesus, never known anything like it. Through 4 menus then I get told to ring a different number, I ring that number, go through another 4 menus only to get told to ring a different number. I ring that number and it's out of service.

What the Kean.

Not so daft really .... there's VAT on telephone bills.

No, it's because plates illegally spaced would be hard to identify. I don't mean private registrations. I mean (for example) T2 ARA being changed to T 2ARA just because it vaguely looks like Zara.

And no need to try and impress by spending 'a couple of grand' on 3 digits. More fool you

I wouldn't have a personalised reg for a gold clock.

[Mike E]

People who lane-hop to get ahead a couple of spaces. There was a bloke on Barbara Castle Way yesterday who was lane-hopping and ended up from 3 cars in front to level with me. I made a point of winding my window down and laughing as loud as possible.

That anti-piracy ad at the start of dvds.

Dun dun, der-der-der-der, dun dun dun, YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR......

[Al]

This Morning. Idiot TV for passive/aggressive Tory housewives with learning difficulties. You can hear the cogs turning in Holly Wibbly's head as she tries to grasp concepts such as justice, or democracy whilst preparing to put her 'sympathetic' face on for the upcoming feature on kiddy fiddling.

You leave Holly Willaboobies alone. She is fantastic.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

People who lane-hop to get ahead a couple of spaces. There was a bloke on Barbara Castle Way yesterday who was lane-hopping and ended up from 3 cars in front to level with me. I made a point of winding my window down and laughing as loud as possible.

That anti-piracy ad at the start of dvds.

Dun dun, der-der-der-der, dun dun dun, YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR......

I've got a friend who's a really well educated, nice guy, two degrees etc. That's until he gets behind the wheel of a car ( Audi TT in his case ). Now and again we go for an early pint into central Manchester in the rush hour. My heart's in my mouth most of the time. In a ten mile journey he must change lanes 100 times. Anybody going a bit cautiously in traffic gets flashed, anybody who won't get out of his way gets flashed or beeped at. This is in some rough areas of Manchester. When he picks on the wrong guy I just hope I'm not in with him.

I've known my wife for 23 years and in all the time I've been in her car I've only ever known her use the horn once, when a L- driver was rolling back into us at some traffic lights. My pal; uses his every journey.

[Guest Norbert]

You leave Holly Willaboobies alone. She is fantastic.

Good looking yes. But a crap presenter and as false as Shane Warne's hair.

[Steve Moss]

Why no American can explain to me why american football is called football when you play it with your hands?

Among my irritations are people who allegedly want answers but can't be bothered to research the issue:

"The history of American football can be traced to early versions of rugby football and association football. Both games have their origin varieties of football played in Britain in the mid-19th century, in which a football is kicked at a goal and/or run over a line.

American football resulted from several major divergences from rugby, most notably the rule changes instituted by Walter Camp, considered the "Father of American Football". Among these important changes were the introduction of the line of scrimmage and of down-and-distancerules.^[1][2][3] In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, gameplay developments by college coaches such as Eddie Cochems, Amos Alonzo Stagg,Knute Rockne, and Glenn "Pop" Warner helped take advantage of the newly introduced forward pass. . . ." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_American_football

So the simple answer is that American football started out as rugby and soccer (used to irritate Jim). It then evolved, but kept the name.

[jim mk2]

I've got a friend who's a really well educated, nice guy, two degrees etc. That's until he gets behind the wheel of a car ( Audi TT in his case ). Now and again we go for an early pint into central Manchester in the rush hour. My heart's in my mouth most of the time. In a ten mile journey he must change lanes 100 times. Anybody going a bit cautiously in traffic gets flashed, anybody who won't get out of his way gets flashed or beeped at. This is in some rough areas of Manchester. When he picks on the wrong guy I just hope I'm not in with him.

I've known my wife for 23 years and in all the time I've been in her car I've only ever known her use the horn once, when a L- driver was rolling back into us at some traffic lights. My pal; uses his every journey.

I love drivers like him - hold them up on dual carriageways by driving in the outside lane for miles at the same speed as a lorry doing 50mph.

By the way, if he were well educated he wouldn't behave like that. Sounds like he should be in a mental institution.

[Rover95]

People who swear every other word . There's no need for it . There's a bloke behind me at the Rovers who does it all game . I'm not generally easily offended but he's f- ing this c*** this b****** the other . He needs to widen his vocabulary.

Also - people who spit on the street . Disgusting

[Dreyski]

Has nobody said Piers Morgan yet? Shame the Americans want to send him back to us...

I like to think of myself as a considerate and responsible cyclist, so it winds me up to see others with no helmet/no lights/running a red light, giving the rest of us a bad name. That said, car drivers who park in the bike lane are just as bad.

[Tom]

Personal contact is always best - managing by email is hopeless.

Another gripe. Listening to the wireless tonight and there were two twits talking whose voices rose at the end of every sentence as if they were asking a question instead of making statements. I've noticed it more and more - where does it come from ?

Alan Shearer seems to have decided he would like to speak this way from now on

[Guest Norbert]

People who swear every other word . There's no need for it . There's a bloke behind me at the Rovers who does it all game . I'm not generally easily offended but he's f- ing this c*** this b****** the other . He needs to widen his vocabulary.

Also - people who spit on the street . Disgusting

If reference to the former, never visit a Marine camp, and in reference to the latter never visit China.

[Steve Moss]

If reference to the former, never visit a Marine camp, and in reference to the latter never visit China.

I never swore until I joined the Marines. It took me years to break the habit once I returned to civilian life.

[Guest Norbert]

Good to see it's universal. I used to work at our Marine training camp, and words like f_ck were practically punctuation with some corporals and sargents.