[Archived] Rovers Monopoly Game 2015

[bob fleming]

My lad was playing The Rovers Monopoly game the other night. It’s actually very good! But I couldn’t help wondering what the 2015 version would be like. I get the feeling the games might go on a bit!

Below in red are genuine Home or Away (Chance / Community Chest) Cards from the game with suggested up to date 2015 equivalents.

Advance to Go, Collect £200

Advance to Go Collect £200, make sure you hand out 50% of it to “others”, even if they don’t appear to be playing the game

You have won the Football lottery, collect £100!

You have won the Rovers Return! But, it was in the League Cup, collect £1.00

Players Modelling Agency Signs You Up. Collect £10

You have been asked to appear in an advert for Venkys chicken. Collect £1.00 and some stick

Pay Doctors Fees of £50

Pay Doctors Fees, crack on your Vince Grella and collect £200

Pay Physio £50

Pay Physio £50, you guys are getting on really well now, you’re going to see a lot of each other after all so keep on his good side. Collect £200 for Physio Appearances

Get Out of Jail Free

Get Out of Jail Free, leave the game immediately. Go and manage a pub team abroad where it’s really hot and wait until it all blows over, which it won’t. Ever

Fail a Fitness Test, Fine £15

Fail a Fitness Test, you start on Saturday. Collect appearance bonus £200

You have been elected Chairman of the Board, pay each player £50

You have been elected Chairman of the Board, each player, and some people who aren’t even playing, pay you £200. Buy yourself a claret tank top. Go for a meal. Eat out. Every day of the week! Always. Pay nobody anything

Drive to see Harry Healless, if you pass Go Collect £200

Drive to see the Captain, go on. Do it. Forget where you left your car. Miss 20 goes. Collect £200 on each missed go

Injury sends you back 3 spaces

You’re injured, again, but whatever you do don’t worry about it. Stay where you are. Collect £200

Transfer fee renegotiated, Collect £25.

Transfer fee renegotiated. Collect £25,000. Each

You get a match win bonus of £50

You get a match win bonus of £2,000. Unbelievable, on a number of levels, Jeff. Have £200 as well.

Go to Jail, Go Directly to Jail, Do not pass Go, Do not Collect £200

You have been asked to do an interview and lay it on thick on Sky Sports News, Collect £200

Advance to the nearest Stand, if unowned, you may buy it from the bank

Advance to the Riverside, if unowned, you may buy it from the bank, then open talks with Venkys about renaming the stand and the costs of buying two 60 feet murals of a pointing Keith Andrews. This will go down very well with the fans. Collect £200 for having a really great idea

You See Derek Fazackerley if you pass “Go” Collect £200

You see Faz. You hide. Then collect £200

Make general Repairs on all property – each Stand pays £25. Each Stadium £100.

Ignore making Repairs on all property, save as much as you can. Collect £200 from the bank

Fly to see Jack Walker

Fly to see Mrs Desai, miss training. Lose the will to live. Miss 5 turns. Collect £200 - and some gold

Injury insurance pays out £50

You sack the manager, the bank pays the old manager £ 1,500,000. Whatever. You can collect £200 from the bank though, good skills

It’s your testimonial, collect £10 from every player

You have been at the club 12 months now; it’s your testimonial! Collect £100 from every player – oh and £200 from the bank

Pay Training Fees of £100

Consistently turn up for Training, collect £200

Receive an Appearance Fee collect £20

You exist, so thanks. Go on, collect £200. Cause you’re worth it!

And some newer ones:

You have taken up Tantric Dancing – collect £200

You have been caught out and secretly filmed talking out of turn “popped up”, it’s on YouTube, it’s in the Press. You’re a bit of a disgrace really aren’t you? Carry on though! You’re doing a great job. Collect £200

You have successfully managed to add a “Y” to every footballer’s surname at the club. Collect £200

Paul Merson & Charlie Nicholas say you’re doing a really good job on Sky Sports. Collect £200. Then Go to Jail

You have completely lost your mind. You forget you have a dog, you can’t spot a plane with your name on it 60 foot away and have started taking the positives about any situation whilst continually licking your lips. Receive a Contract Extension and £2,000 from the Bank. Well done

Suggest investing in a Video Conferencing solution; saving time and money, whilst improving the clubs carbon footprint . Lose 5 turns. Flying back and forth to India trying to explain this was a bad idea. Do not pass Go, but what the heck, Collect £200 anyway on every missed turn

Mrs Desai has got up on the wrong side of bed. Game Over. Without warning, aggressively tip the monopoly board up in the air. Then pack everything away. Do not think of playing again for at least 6 months. If it’s snowing, throw snowballs at each other outside until someone gets hurt and starts crying

Any other ideas?

[roverandout]

We all know who the dog would be in rovers monopoly (hint:-she lives in pune)

[tomphil]

Not a bad version of the game that. I take that if you manage to collect all that money from the bank but still end the game 100 million in debt you've won right ?

[Boner]

It's the end of the month, collect £200. Set fire to £3000000.

[Stand & Deliver]

Edit

[Baz]

Transfer Window - buy 3 more defensive midfielders, collect £300.

Post-match interview- say "ever-so-well" - collect £50

Pre match presser - say "have a right good-go" - collect £75

Contract negotiations - your highest paid player is a tad expensive, and not quite as good as that agent said he would be - pay him up in full - lose £1000.

[davulsukur]

You've become the clubs MD.

Put up a shelf, step back and look proud.

Collect £200.

[Jock]

Your a Director , never say a word, throw a six and land on The Dingle Dome and collect a FA tie.

Your a Director , never say a word, throw a six and land on The Dingle Dome and collect a FA tie.

[TBTF]

Your a Director , never say a word, throw a six and land on The Dingle Dome and collect a FA tie. Your a Director , never say a word, throw a six and land on The Dingle Dome and collect a FA tie.

Get out of Jail Free - you make 3 substitutions who all did "triffic"

[ABBEY]

Give all the money to the banker and the players just fight amongst there self whoever cheats roguelly gets a banker bonus

[TBTF]

Give all the money to the banker and the players just fight amongst there self whoever cheats roguelly gets a banker bonus

You landed on Brockhall which is heavily mortgaged. Fined £15 million and placed under transfer embargo for the rest of your life.

[A cup of beans]

A wonderful read, Bob.

Ever thought of starting a fanzine ?

Someone should develop your version.

It'll fly off the shelves at Christmas.

Sell enough and you could buy us back and free us from this tyranny.

Spy at Brockhall - Fine 200.

A brfcc poster can overlook every training session from his home. Deciphering starting line ups is a doddle.

The brfcc fans enjoy this enlightening information. We can't let them enjoy anything.

Silence the spy - collect 400

Do whatever you can to shut him up.

Even if you have to pay for his silence.

It's worked before, by muting sacked managers and cult heroes like Salgado and Nelsen.

[Baz]

Drink 3 large glasses of red wine and a couple of lagers. Swerve down the M6 at 95mph. When questioned blame the fans for spiking your drink - win £5000 and a free kung-fu driver for sheer audacity.

[perthblue02]

We all know who the dog would be in rovers monopoly (hint:-she lives in pune)

What dog? theres a space for it in the box but 'nobody can find it ,

other additions

You score a goal from midfield, Lose you appearance fee for the next game and sit out a turn

You defend the undefendable on TV welcome on board collect 100000 and a Directorship

[Darmond]

Advance to "Give it a right good go."

[Mike Graham]

Arrive at Ewood and get snow balled.

I like the idea of a one-off Xmas fanzine as a fund raiser for either this MB or a charity. The editorial could be a joint Abbey and Chaddy affair (is affair the right word?).

[broadsword]

You receive 500 fan letters a day. Tip the postman £200 for putting his back out.

[Rover_Shaun]

"You negotiate contract extension with a percentage wage increase set at the level of support for you" - Collect £298

"People certainly can see what you are trying to do here" - Go directly to jail

[scotchrover]

Cracking post Bob! It hasn't half made me chuckle!

Making the manager storm off the stage, at the Christmas party, for refusing to wear a head stocking- collect £200... Getting it to make national news-£400

Failing to pick a fit Grant Hanley/ Jason Lowe- miss a turn, you rebel!

Failing to mention the word "Outstanding," after a dire win- taxman collects £1000 off you!

Getting any central midfielder to receive the ball from the defence, and play it FORWARD to a striker- donate £200 to charity!