Just For Fun - Famous Football Quips And Quotes

[onlyonejackwalker]

The most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs - Andy Gray

Football is a game with 22 players, two linesmen and 20,000 referees - Bob Monkhouse

When they were first installed all seater stadiums, everyone predicted the fans wouldn't stand for it - George Best

And tonight we have the added ingredient of Kenny Dalglish not being here - Martin Tyler

Man United have got the bull between their horns now - Billy Mcneil

Celtic have taken this game by the scruff of their throat - John Greig

Watching Man City is the best laxative you can take - Phil Neal

My ankle was pointing to Hong Kong so I knew I was in trouble - Alan Smith

When I player at Barnsley it was a small town club with a chip on its shoulder. Later I went to Millwall, a club with a ship on both shoulders.

The last time Notts Forest were five points ahead of anybody was in a cricket match - Brian Clough

When you have bene given a free transfer by Rochdale you start to worry for your future - Terry Dolan

The two best clubs in London are Stringfellows and the Hippodrome - Terry McDermott

The score is Ipswich 0 - Liverpool 2. If it stays that way you have to fancy Liverpool to win - Peter Jones

The winner of the PL will come from a select group of one - Peter Kenyon

The one thing I did not expect is the way we didn't play - George Graham

The secret of football is to equalise before the opposition scores - Danny Blanchflower

We spoke of it for a while and out of it came the fact we wouldn't speak about it - Terry Venables

When I played for Man United I used to go missing a lot - Miss Peru, Miss America, Miss Uruguay - George Best

A few more clean sheets and Sven's problems off and on the field would disappear - Brian Okeefe

John Bond has tarnished my reputation with his insinuations regarding football managers. Both my wifes are upset - Malcom Allison

I've been so wedded to Liverpool I've only taken my wife out twice in 40 years. It is time she saw more of my ugly old mug - Bill Shankly

Mark Hughes is playing better and better. Even if he is going grey and looks like a pidgeon - Luca Vialli

The person who said all men are created equal, never stepped into a football dressing room - Eric Morecambe

How much further down his head will Bobby Charlton have to part his hair before realising he has gone bald? - Clive James

I've seen big men hide in corridors to avoid him - Martin Oneil on Brian Clough

I only ever hot Roy Keane once. He got up so it obviously wasn't hard enough - Brian Clough

Batistuta gets most f his goals with the ball - Ian St John

We were doing great before they scored five freak goals - Bert Head

It was particularly pleasing that our goal scorers scored tonight - Alex Ferguson

Where did it go wrong? At the back, in midfleld and up-front - George Graham

A lot of hard work went into this defeat - Malcom Allison

Some teams are so negative they should be sponsored by Kodak - Tommy Doherty

Closer to home.....Add your favourites

Dew on grass, the one percent, didn't see the plane, the new Chris Snalling, The new Denis Irvine, The new Wayne Rooney, no way we will be relegated, men against bhoys, women shouldn't play football, Champions league football, Rivaldho.

[Ribble Rover]

Might aswell close the thread, you've googled them all.

Chaddy: "I think Lambert will get £20 million to spend........"

[onlyonejackwalker]

Might aswell close the thread, you've googled them all.

Chaddy: "I think Lambert will get £20 million to spend........"

No, I have got a book

I've just named the team I would like to represent Wales in the next World Cup. Brazil - Bobby Gould

[donnermeat]

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one."

Brian Clough

[Mike E]

Interviewer to Brian Clough:

'What do you do when a player disagrees with your methods?'

Clough:

'Well I ask him which way he thinks it should be done, we get down to it, we talk about it for 20 minutes and we decide I was right.'

[blondie]

Mrs Desai" My brother knows a lot about football"

[ABBEY]

50 m war chest .. The fat haggis

[oldjamfan1]

The Shankly one reminds me of when he was asked whether it was true he'd taken his wife to watch Rochdale on their Wedding Anniversary. He gave the reporter a withering look and said "Son, who on earth gets married during the football season?" Then paused for effect and added "It was her birthday!". Then paused for effect again and said "And anyway, it was Rochdale reserves".

They don't make them like him any more!!

[ABBEY]

Tremblers

[onlyonejackwalker]

Tremblers

Not sure you've got the hang of this Abbey!

All strikers go through what they call a glut when they don't score goals - Mark Lawrenson.

[ABBEY]

It's an infamous Ewood spark quote

[Ribble Rover]

Ferguson said: Youve got that issue at Blackburn of an agent involved and deciding the future of the club, Jerome Anderson, he couldnt pick his nose. Its baffling and its a serious threat to how clubs get run and how they conduct themselves.

[the original david brent]

Interviewer post match: Gordon can we have a quick word?

Strachan: Yes. Velocity.

Interview concludes

[Blow-in]

I make it a policy not to comment on referees, and i won't break my policy for that idiot- Ron Atkinson

[Blue Cabbage]

Interviewer post match: Ian can we have a quick word?

Ian Holloway: Yes. Velocity.

Interview concludes

That was Strachan Brent....

[the original david brent]

Oh sh*t it was! I will edit it ha!

[Blue Cabbage]

Much obliged

[Grez]

Steve Kean on Ryan Nelsen: “He's in a bad way. I've just been to see him. He's in traction. We need experienced players in the team and I can't wait to get him back, but I doubt he'll be let out before the end of the season."

Four days later Nelsen made his debut for Spurs.

Lifted this from Mirrors article on 20 statements by Steve Kean

[JBiz]

Lifted this from Mirrors article on 20 statements by Steve Kean

Think that article was lifted from here. I'll win the Carling cup, no problem...

[tomphil]

If god had meant football to be played in the sky he'd have put grass on the clouds - Clough

If ye don't score ye don't win - Some Scottish manager called Jimmy something a long time ago.

[oldjamfan1]

That was Strachan Brent....

I spent ages there trying to work out who Strachan Brent was. It's been a long old day.....

[Blue Cabbage]

My fault, horrific grammar. Apologies

[oldjamfan1]

My fault, horrific grammar. Apologies

My fault, heat, hunger and a Smirnoff downed in one lol

[roverandout]

We don't have a dog

Mrs Kean 'darling what are we going to do with this tin of dog food'

[arbitro]

I remember a story from a guy called Jim Lambie who managed several clubs in Scotland and was known for his sharp wit and humour. One of his players needed treatment for a head injury and came off the pitch near the technical area. Lambie shouted to the physio 'how is he'? The physio shouted back that the player couldn't remember who he was. Quick as a flash Lambie responded with 'tell him he is Pele and throw him back on'.