The sad story of Keith Treacy

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

2 hours ago, lraC said:

Wow, I am in tears reading that.

I can honestly say, my children (now aged 31 & 28) could so easily have ended up like that. Once I split with their Mum, I made absolutely sure I had regular contact with them and at times, almost had joint custody. To be fair, my second wife has been so fantastic and took them both under her wing and also their Mothers second husband, have both been great step parents and I have a lot to thank them both of them for.

A lot of what was going on, was hidden from me, after we split, but the things I did see and hear of helped me to protect them as much as I could and both of my kids have grown into wonderful people, so far producing a wonderful Grandson too, who is of course a Rovers fan.

You were luckier than me then. Once I split from my wife because of her drinking she did all she could to make life as difficult as she possibly could with regard to me seeing my two sons. I had court orders regarding access to the lads but she just ignored them. As my solicitor said “ At the end of the day they aren’t going to send her to jail over this so what do you want me to do ? “. My youngest son was more feisty and he continued to see me but the eldest one just wanted a quiet life so our relationship more or less collapsed. When he got married I was told I could attend but my new partner wasn’t welcome, there was no way I was going to accept that, so I ended up just stood outside the church watching him and his new wife enter and leave.

I had many tough times over the years, Christmas’s were always  the worst, usually ruined by my lack of quality time with my kids. Alcohol didn’t just ruin her life, it blighted my life for years until I got out and it scarred the lads life’s after I left. When it all boiled down I was left with my clothes and a few books and trinkets. That’s all I had show after 20 years of marriage apart from the boys. The house was repossessed, my very valuable record collection ended up in my ex wife’s hands. I had to start all over again in my early 40’s.

Luckily my new partner never gave up on me or my lads and now she has a better relationship with my eldest son and his family than my ex wife has.

[lraC]

1 hour ago, Tyrone Shoelaces said:

You were luckier than me then. Once I split from my wife because of her drinking she did all she could to make life as difficult as she possibly could with regard to me seeing my two sons. I had court orders regarding access to the lads but she just ignored them. As my solicitor said “ At the end of the day they aren’t going to send her to jail over this so what do you want me to do ? “. My youngest son was more feisty and he continued to see me but the eldest one just wanted a quiet life so our relationship more or less collapsed. When he got married I was told I could attend but my new partner wasn’t welcome, there was no way I was going to accept that, so I ended up just stood outside the church watching him and his new wife enter and leave.

I had many tough times over the years, Christmas’s were always  the worst, usually ruined by my lack of quality time with my kids. Alcohol didn’t just ruin her life, it blighted my life for years until I got out and it scarred the lads life’s after I left. When it all boiled down I was left with my clothes and a few books and trinkets. That’s all I had show after 20 years of marriage apart from the boys. The house was repossessed, my very valuable record collection ended up in my ex wife’s hands. I had to start all over again in my early 40’s.

Luckily my new partner never gave up on me or my lads and now she has a better relationship with my eldest son and his family than my ex wife has.

I was very lucky, as despite her problems, she didn't ever stop me from having as much access to the kids as I wanted. I will always be grateful for that, as your story is is not unusual.

It was hard enough not being there with them every day, so I did ensure that the time we had together was very special and it has made us very close now, especially my son, who now works for my business. Both kids have been left devastated by their Mums, passing, it is still very raw a year on, but I will do my best to keep them on the straight and narrow.

So sorry to hear how you missed out like you did and hope your relationship with you two sons, continues to prosper.

[JacknOry]

7 hours ago, lraC said:

Wow, I am in tears reading that.

I can honestly say, my children (now aged 31 & 28) could so easily have ended up like that. Once I split with their Mum, I made absolutely sure I had regular contact with them and at times, almost had joint custody. To be fair, my second wife has been so fantastic and took them both under her wing and also their Mothers second husband, have both been great step parents and I have a lot to thank them both of them for.

A lot of what was going on, was hidden from me, after we split, but the things I did see and hear of helped me to protect them as much as I could and both of my kids have grown into wonderful people, so far producing a wonderful Grandson too, who is of course a Rovers fan.

Difficult to talk about and that is just a brief summary - there is so much more. Just not the place to go into too much detail. But yeah, relationships break up, I understand that, and my mum could have handled it better. She didn't, and my dad, well, better less said. We were not a poor family either, decent middle class, nice house, two cars. We lived on a nice street. i have great memories of my childhood before then. My dad worked for British Airways and was their disaster recovery guy. Holidays to Tunisia, Malaysia, and Spain before I was even 10. Then boom, within years its all gone...he just upped and left. Even today, he knows where I am but wont make contact - good job too as I'm not sure what i would do. 

[davulsukur]

9 hours ago, Paul Mellelieu said:

The Undr the Cosh podcast is a real eyeopener to the use of alcohol in football, including many of our ex-players and the alcohol-drenched culture that is all too prevalent in this country has so many victims, including many close to us on this forum.  Booze is a dangerous drug and should be treated carefully.

Yer, the Ben Marshall one was an interesting listen.

[den]

19 hours ago, JacknOry said:

Nope, my mother was an alcoholic that died at the age of 46. Her vice was white wine and beer/cider.

My father left her, me (12) and my brother (10) and she turned to drink a couple years later. I would come home from school and she was passed out with bottles all around her. We spoke to all the off licenses and supermarkets in the area to ask them to stop serving her. Some did, but she was still able to get her hands on it somehow. 

It was the toughest time of my life. I lost all discipline as my father was not there and my mother was pissed 24/7. From doing well at school, I was now hanging around with the wrong crowd smoking weed and drinking myself at 14. My brother just stopped going to school all together and locked himself in his room all day. My dad didn't even have the balls to leave while I was there - I was on scout camp ffs, I came home to find my mother in pieces on the stairs.

I went from scout to drug dealer within the space of a few years. I hit rock bottom at 18, arrested for an armed robbery - tried to rob a local Spar with a knife. At that point a friends mum forced me to get help and i was diagnosed with severe depression and put on anti-depressants (seroxat). Fortunately, with her help, the courts were sympathetic to my case due to the circumstances around my life at the time. I got a two-year suspended sentence and 200 hours community service.

She even took me in to live with her and her family for about a year after. She was a godsend and I still speak to her today. Barbara, wonderful woman who volunteered to work for free for the Citizens Advice Bureau for most of her working life. She constantly tried to help my mother too, but there was no hope. She eventually sold the house and started renting somewhere we couldn't find her, until I got a call when i was 21  that she was in hospital - by the time me and my brother got there, she had passed away with liver disease.

Barbara continued to help me through. I went to college to take a 2-year Btec in IT and I also self-studied to become an MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer). Seriously, without her, I don't know where I would be today. I wouldn't have had the career I have, that's for sure - more likely I would have followed the downward path and ended in a  similar situation to my mother. My brother turned out okay too. He moved in with a family member and got his life back on track as well. He is now an accountant and doing well.

Sadly, my overwhelming memory of mother was her answer to a question I asked out of anger when trying to stop her from drinking. Smashing her bottle of white wine into the wall after coming home from school, I shouted "You love drinking more than you love me and Lee, don't you?" Her "Yes" broke me.

Been a while since I have spoken about this - so apologies. Nice to get it out every now and again. 

It’s hard to know what to say after reading that. I’m not sure I should even try, but anyway….

Your story is possibly the most moving I’ve ever read on here. 

Thanks for that.
 

 

Edited July 23, 2021 by den

[Tom]

Gambling is one that always worries me.

I think because I can see how easy it would be to fall down the rabbit hole into danger, it doesn’t need a cataclysmic event to start it just a bit of fun followed by chasing a loss, the next double or nothing could recover it all etc

I hate how ingrained it is in football as well, full on back to back adverts and sponsorships but ‘when the fun stops, stop’ but at the same time place 4 more £5 bets this week for a FREE bet!

Anyway that’s off topic but huge thanks to @JacknOry for opening up, a hugely brave and powerful action and a moving, sad and empowering story 

Edited July 23, 2021 by Tom

[oldjamfan1]

Reading some of these relationship/custody situations is quite upsetting to be honest. 
There doesn’t need to have been alcohol or addiction involved either. In my situation being a ‘bad husband’ was confluted with being a bad father by my ex wife, which is unforgivable and unfair. 
My lads are 32 and 27 now and there are still difficulties. 
Thank God for the Rovers 😂😱💙🤍

[arbitro]

5 minutes ago, oldjamfan1 said:

Reading some of these relationship/custody situations is quite upsetting to be honest. 
There doesn’t need to have been alcohol or addiction involved either. In my situation being a ‘bad husband’ was confluted with being a bad father by my ex wife, which is unforgivable and unfair. 
My lads are 32 and 27 now and there are still difficulties. 
Thank God for the Rovers 😂😱💙🤍

There was an excellent documentary last week about Family Courts which are coming in for increasing criticism. Somebody in my family had the misfortune to go the the turmoil and emotional trauma these places can bring. Ultimately it worked out well but seeing the tension and worry they can bring affected many, many people. Some of the people involved have been to hell.

https://www.channel4.com/press/news/torn-apart-family-courts-uncovered-dispatches

[Silas]

2 hours ago, oldjamfan1 said:

Thank God for the Rovers 😂😱💙🤍

You know you've got problems when you're relying on Rovers to bring some joy to life.

God help us all. 😧😧

[tina]

My experience is my wife went off with my best friend when I had chicken pox 18 years ago. We all recover eventually. I have a lovely girl now called Tina. Hence the new account name 

[JacknOry]

Thanks for listening fellas, its not the sort of stuff id normally blurt out in such a public way. Just Silas asking that question about whether its just hard drink. I started typing and then it just came out. 

I love a drink myself, but i consciously aim to be nothing like either of my parents. I wont let it happen to me. 

Lets get this topic back to the OP - it just gors to show that 'young money' (that twerking bitch) is not always good.

[rickard]

On 26/07/2021 at 14:09, JacknOry said:

Thanks for listening fellas, its not the sort of stuff id normally blurt out in such a public way. Just Silas asking that question about whether its just hard drink. I started typing and then it just came out. 

I love a drink myself, but i consciously aim to be nothing like either of my parents. I wont let it happen to me. 

Lets get this topic back to the OP - it just gors to show that 'young money' (that twerking bitch) is not always good.

Keep fighting buddy, and the same to the rest of you who shared. We're behind you all!

Regarding Treacy, I wonder how many cases there are that not made public, I know of examples myself on a very low level, people who are very good at sports but then discover that it's funnier to drink and party. Sad really.

I have one memory of Treacy as a player, it was a friendly game a long time ago, he was tackled by an opponent who gestured for him to get up. The next moment, Warnock just clobbers that opponent and screams at him to get up. That guy then limped off. 😄 That was just a sweet moment of one of the older players standing up for one of the younger ones.

[Armchair supporter supremo]

On 22/07/2021 at 19:51, Silas said:

 

Very sad tales, and condolences and RIP to both individuals. No ages for life to end.

Don't want to pry and open up wounds - (feel free to tell me to piss off) - but were spirits the main cause?

We've got quite a bit alcoholism in my family, and I like a good drink.

But mainly beer and wine. In my head that's way more manageable than the 40% proof stuff.

But I've always wondered if I'm deluding myself. 

It seems Keith's problem was the hard stuff too. 

id say try going completely tee total for a week and if you cant even get through a few days without it then you may want to speak to a professional(assuming you don't want to become a full blown alcoholic!) 

[Armchair supporter supremo]

On 22/07/2021 at 22:05, Mike E said:

Friend of the family was caught out as a alcoholic. He'd empty bottles of water and fill them with vodka. His wife had a sip on a summer holiday about 10 years ago, and he's not touched a drop through shame ever since.

Luckily he'd already retired (think he did it through boredom), and has found refuge in golf.

He's one of the lucky ones, but he'd been downing one of those 6-packs of 'water' per day!

im not even much of a drinker but I think if i was threatened with golf I'd quickly stock upbon the old 20/20 😅

[Mike E]

45 minutes ago, Armchair supporter supremo said:

id say try going completely tee total for a week and if you cant even get through a few days without it then you may want to speak to a professional(assuming you don't want to become a full blown alcoholic!) 

Unfortunately, 'seeing how long you can cope without' is also a sign of addiction.

[DeeCee]

6 hours ago, Mike E said:

Unfortunately, 'seeing how long you can cope without' is also a sign of addiction.

In my new job I'm working alongside addicts, both alcohol and drugs, I'm only a few days into it but the training courses were very enlightening.

[BRFC4EVA]

I remember how excited I was when Treacy came through the ranks. Irish, left footed, winger, youth product; I thought he was the new Duff. Fascinating about what he said around his natural ability effectively being coached out. He probably came along 10 years too late for his style of game. 

Oh how I long for the days of 4-4-2, wingers (with left footer on the left and right footer on right, not the other bloody way round) and just going for it.

In general terms around addiction. Have read a few stories around players who have been affected by various conditions (drinking or gambling etc) the common denominator seems to be having too much time on their hands with too much money. Being finished at 1pm every day and then being like, ok how do I fill in the next 10 hours till bed time? 

Clubs could be more pro active in that regard, especially for players who have moved away from where they grew up so don't have the support of family and friends.

[riverholmes]

Listened to an interesting interview with Treacy. Football relies, to an extent, on dehumanising players and the use of their surnames is, in a way, part of that. It's easier, as a fan, to publicly fault Treacy, than it might be to do so to Keith. Treacy is a commodity, Keith a human being trying to get by, like all of us.

Incidentally, I was always convinced it was an error by Allardyce in preferring Treacy and getting rid of Alan Judge. The latter had more to his game, I feel, though even in a second spell, I'm not sure we saw it. His height was probably an issue for Allardyce.

 

 

Edited March 29, 2022 by riverholmes

[Bbrovers2288]

Just came across this thread, some of you have real inspirational and sad stories to tell, much respect to all that shared personal journeys. Tyrone and jackanory , you guys are two of the best posters, you already had my respect but wow gents. 

[broadsword]

I have also just happened across this thread. Very sad to read about Keith. The question shouldn't be (from what I've read) "why the addiction?" but "why the pain?" 

 

Clearly, Keith has really suffered. He's a human being, and he's fallible , I think there needs to be more recognition of this. Just because someone is paid a lot of money to play sport, doesn't mean they're fair game for dog's abuse. I forget the name of the lady, the tennis player who walked out of the tournament because they wouldn't tolerate her not doing presses, but I totally support her doing that. 

I've done a lot of reading during the pandemic, some of it on addiction. I think like I've  educated myself somewhat. I'm glad I can't see posts I made on here from five or ten years ago because I think the cringe would kill me. 

I guess the main thing is, you just don't know what power your word might have over someone. If you can't help someone then at least don't hurt them. 

[EgyptianPete]

Who are the three guys doing the podcast, i believe at least two played for Rovers but i can't remember them apart from is it Brown, i don't think they were any good.

[Silas]

On 29/03/2022 at 19:56, riverholmes said:

Listened to an interesting interview with Treacy. Football relies, to an extent, on dehumanising players and the use of their surnames is, in a way, part of that. It's easier, as a fan, to publicly fault Treacy, than it might be to do so to Keith. Treacy is a commodity, Keith a human being trying to get by, like all of us.

I get the point being made but surely it's just a logistics thing. For England we have 2 Harry's, 2 Jordan's, we could have had 2 Phil's if Jones hadn't gone shit after leaving us. 😂

We could potentially have 3 Bens - Chilwell, White, and Godfrey. 

I think it's more a 'celebrity' thing. People don't see them as human beings with feelings.

You only have to look at the social media trends for that. Joe Public gets treated a bit better, #bekind and all that, we're all here struggling together. But get someone with a blue tick and a Country's worth of followers, and it's open season. And nobody seems to give a toss whether they deserve it.

[Leonard Venkhater]

On 31/07/2021 at 03:59, DeeCee said:

In my new job I'm working alongside addicts, both alcohol and drugs, I'm only a few days into it but the training courses were very enlightening.

That's good to know. With your pen name, I was worried you might be working in a Detention Centre!