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11 minutes ago, DeeCee said:

I've had similar recently, my ex partner of 32 years died 4 weeks ago

We had been separated for almost a year for reasons I won't go into on here but the pain is still with me as it was tragic

 

Oh dear, life can be a bummer sometimes. My condolences to and your family.

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20 hours ago, sympatheticclaret said:

 

I haven't been posting much recently .... I only wish it was due to our relegation ...

My Dad slipped away " gently into the good night " in the early hours of 21st May, aged 88. He had suffered from advancing vascular dementia in his last few years, but thanks to the love and support of our wonderful mother, was able to stay in his own home until relatively recently.

Dad was brought up on a new Council estate in Aspley, Nottingham, the son of a Boots factory girl who left school at 14, and a Post Office Engineer. His father died on active service when Dad was 7, leaving my Gran to raise two children with the help of her family. Dad passed the 11+, and attended High Pavement G.S. where he became Head of School ( 1953-54 ). He was offered a choral scholarship at Gonville & Cauis College, Cambridge on the condition he obtained Latin " O " Level, then a requirement for the Engineering tripos. He achieved this qualification by correspondence School, in less than 6 months, whilst doing National Service between 1954-56. He was commissioned in the Royal Signals, serving in Egypt & Cyprus and stayed on the " Reserve " until 1968. He went up to Cambridge in 1956, with his £40 pa Scholarship " It wasn't a fortune, but it allowed me to keep Sherry in my rooms ! ", he often said. He would recall conversing with Harold Abrahams, the 1924 Olympic 100m Champion, at a couple of College Dinners, long before light was shed on Abrahams' story with the film " Chariots of Fire ".

On graduating, he married my mother in 1959, whom he'd met at 17 at an inter-school dance in Nottingham. She was by then an SRN at Westminster Hospital. He then spent the next 45 years in manufacturing industry, running and designing new production facilities in primarily printing and glass manufacture. We moved to Clitheroe in 1975 when Dad was head-hunted to run Joseph Arnold & Co, in Church, then the largest printers of Greeting Cards in Europe. In 1996, he suffered a heart attack aged 60, and underwent a six-way bypass in Boston, Mass whilst on holiday, Luckily, they had taken out Travel Insurance. He was also fortunate that the lead surgeon at Deaconess Hospital was the Emeritus Professor of Cardiology at Harvard ! He retired aged 69, following the successful sale of a Glass Company in which he had a stake.

He wasn't a clubable man particularly, preferring time with his family and in his garden. As befitting a former Choral Scholar, music was ever present in our house growing up. He loved his Rugby, Cricket & Athletics and was a life-long fan of Notts County. He's survived by our mother, his wife of 64 years, and his 3 children. He was an adored father-in-law, grandfather of 5, and had 2 great-grand-daughters ...

Goodnight and God bless Dad .... Thank you for everything. 

 

That's a wonderful tribute to your dad SC.  My condolences

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Sincere condolences SC. A beautifully written post.

I think it's wonderful that you, as  Burnley supporter can post this on here and receive such heart felt sympathy from fellow posters. It speaks volumes as to the decency and generosity of spirit of both yourself and the BRFCS community.

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22 hours ago, Tyrone Shoelaces said:

Sincere condolences from me also. My mum died just over four weeks ago and I’m only just starting to process it. It sounds like your dad lived a full life and didn’t waste any of it. My consolation is my mum lived to be 93 and apart from a bad knee had no ailments. She died peacefully in her sleep. 

So sorry to hear this mate. It doesn’t matter how old they are or how good a life they had, it’s still tough when your mum dies. Still, that said I’m glad you got so long with her in such fine fettle, that’s a rare blessing.

 

And condolences also to SC x

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16 minutes ago, oldjamfan1 said:

So sorry to hear this mate. It doesn’t matter how old they are or how good a life they had, it’s still tough when your mum dies. Still, that said I’m glad you got so long with her in such fine fettle, that’s a rare blessing.

 

And condolences also to SC x

Thanks, I would normally be watching the Cup Final with her today in The Flying Horse. It’s times like this that is the hardest.

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On 24/05/2024 at 15:38, sympatheticclaret said:

 

I haven't been posting much recently .... I only wish it was due to our relegation ...

My Dad slipped away " gently into the good night " in the early hours of 21st May, aged 88. He had suffered from advancing vascular dementia in his last few years, but thanks to the love and support of our wonderful mother, was able to stay in his own home until relatively recently.

Dad was brought up on a new Council estate in Aspley, Nottingham, the son of a Boots factory girl who left school at 14, and a Post Office Engineer. His father died on active service when Dad was 7, leaving my Gran to raise two children with the help of her family. Dad passed the 11+, and attended High Pavement G.S. where he became Head of School ( 1953-54 ). He was offered a choral scholarship at Gonville & Cauis College, Cambridge on the condition he obtained Latin " O " Level, then a requirement for the Engineering tripos. He achieved this qualification by correspondence School, in less than 6 months, whilst doing National Service between 1954-56. He was commissioned in the Royal Signals, serving in Egypt & Cyprus and stayed on the " Reserve " until 1968. He went up to Cambridge in 1956, with his £40 pa Scholarship " It wasn't a fortune, but it allowed me to keep Sherry in my rooms ! ", he often said. He would recall conversing with Harold Abrahams, the 1924 Olympic 100m Champion, at a couple of College Dinners, long before light was shed on Abrahams' story with the film " Chariots of Fire ".

On graduating, he married my mother in 1959, whom he'd met at 17 at an inter-school dance in Nottingham. She was by then an SRN at Westminster Hospital. He then spent the next 45 years in manufacturing industry, running and designing new production facilities in primarily printing and glass manufacture. We moved to Clitheroe in 1975 when Dad was head-hunted to run Joseph Arnold & Co, in Church, then the largest printers of Greeting Cards in Europe. In 1996, he suffered a heart attack aged 60, and underwent a six-way bypass in Boston, Mass whilst on holiday, Luckily, they had taken out Travel Insurance. He was also fortunate that the lead surgeon at Deaconess Hospital was the Emeritus Professor of Cardiology at Harvard ! He retired aged 69, following the successful sale of a Glass Company in which he had a stake.

He wasn't a clubable man particularly, preferring time with his family and in his garden. As befitting a former Choral Scholar, music was ever present in our house growing up. He loved his Rugby, Cricket & Athletics and was a life-long fan of Notts County. He's survived by our mother, his wife of 64 years, and his 3 children. He was an adored father-in-law, grandfather of 5, and had 2 great-grand-daughters ...

Goodnight and God bless Dad .... Thank you for everything. 

Sorry for your loss.  Lost both my parents within 4 weeks last year 

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One of those threads that makes you take stock for a moment and think of what you have.

@sympatheticclaret I am so sorry for your loss. I am fortunate enough never to have experienced dementia in a family member but have seen them lost to hideous, debilitating diseases otherwise. You gave such a wonderful account of your father mind and it was genuinely beautiful to read.

@Tyrone Shoelaces I am sorry to read of your loss also. It sounds like she was a good age and had a wonderful life right until the end. My thoughts are with the both of you.

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3 minutes ago, GHR said:

One of those threads that makes you take stock for a moment and think of what you have.

@sympatheticclaret I am so sorry for your loss. I am fortunate enough never to have experienced dementia in a family member but have seen them lost to hideous, debilitating diseases otherwise. You gave such a wonderful account of your father mind and it was genuinely beautiful to read.

@Tyrone Shoelaces I am sorry to read of your loss also. It sounds like she was a good age and had a wonderful life right until the end. My thoughts are with the both of you.

Thanks for your kind words, she wasn’t short changed in her life. She lived it to the full.

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1 minute ago, Tyrone Shoelaces said:

Thanks for your kind words, she wasn’t short changed in her life. She lived it to the full.

No finer way to be.

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My sincere condolences, SC and Tyrone. Losing a loved one is always a very upsetting time, however, you both have many happy memories to look back on to help you through this difficult time. Take care. 

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17 minutes ago, Riversider28 said:

My sincere condolences, SC and Tyrone. Losing a loved one is always a very upsetting time, however, you both have many happy memories to look back on to help you through this difficult time. Take care. 

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

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On 24/05/2024 at 21:17, Tyrone Shoelaces said:

Sincere condolences from me also. My mum died just over four weeks ago and I’m only just starting to process it. It sounds like your dad lived a full life and didn’t waste any of it. My consolation is my mum lived to be 93 and apart from a bad knee had no ailments. She died peacefully in her sleep. 

Hope u can deal with it. My mum died of a very painful disease.  Mestasis cancer.  Having lost my dad 4 weeks earlier it was an horrendous time. 7 months or so on I'm still grieving.  Every day I think about them.  I have terrible guilt over my mum's death. I could have done more. She had to deal with not being able to say goodbye to my dad as she was too ill. She must have had terrible emotional pain as well as physical.  It's her birthday on Thursday, a day I'm dreading.  I've gone through many occasions without them since they passed, the firsts are always the hardest.  I break down randomly because I miss them so much. Be strong 

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45 minutes ago, roverandout said:

Hope u can deal with it. My mum died of a very painful disease.  Mestasis cancer.  Having lost my dad 4 weeks earlier it was an horrendous time. 7 months or so on I'm still grieving.  Every day I think about them.  I have terrible guilt over my mum's death. I could have done more. She had to deal with not being able to say goodbye to my dad as she was too ill. She must have had terrible emotional pain as well as physical.  It's her birthday on Thursday, a day I'm dreading.  I've gone through many occasions without them since they passed, the firsts are always the hardest.  I break down randomly because I miss them so much. Be strong 

Your Mum would not want you to worry about what was done or not done. The love you had for your Mum and Dad shines through every word you've written here, and they will have known that. I hope you have someone to talk to about them, however hard it may be for you, and that it helps.

I went down to Blackburn Rugby Club today, as the Club were hosting a Lancashire v Warwickshire Women's fixture. The first two people I saw were my best man from 1989, and his brother, another good friend. Their Mum died from Colon Cancer a week before my Dad, my friend just looked at me, and said " Group hug ? ". We did as we were bidden, and then talked of happier times, occasionally with tears in our eyes .. 

I send our family's best wishes to you, and will be thinking of you this Thursday .. 

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1 hour ago, sympatheticclaret said:

Your Mum would not want you to worry about what was done or not done. The love you had for your Mum and Dad shines through every word you've written here, and they will have known that. I hope you have someone to talk to about them, however hard it may be for you, and that it helps.

I went down to Blackburn Rugby Club today, as the Club were hosting a Lancashire v Warwickshire Women's fixture. The first two people I saw were my best man from 1989, and his brother, another good friend. Their Mum died from Colon Cancer a week before my Dad, my friend just looked at me, and said " Group hug ? ". We did as we were bidden, and then talked of happier times, occasionally with tears in our eyes .. 

I send our family's best wishes to you, and will be thinking of you this Thursday .. 

Thanks. Hope u get thru it and have a long happy life

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Posted (edited)

@sympatheticclaret  @Tyrone Shoelaces @roverandout  You have all suffered close family losses and it does takes time to grieve and move on.  A few years ago, in the space of just a few short weeks, I suffered three close family losses including my mother whose passing I learnt of whilst at one of the other two funerals.  You find an inner resolve that will possibly surprise even yourselves and with the help of spouses and children, you will be surprised how relatively quickly that glimmer of light, at the end of the tunnel, becomes brighter.  

Edited by Mercer
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8 minutes ago, Mercer said:

@sympatheticclaret  @Tyrone Shoelaces @roverandout  You have all suffered close family losses and it does takes time to grieve and move on.  A few years ago, in the space of just a few short weeks, I suffered three close family losses including my mother whose passing I learnt of whilst at one of the other two funerals.  You find an inner resolve that will possibly surprise even yourselves and with the help of spouses and children, you will be surprised how relatively quickly that glimmer of light, at the end of the tunnel, becomes brighter.  

Thanks for that.

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3 hours ago, Mercer said:

@sympatheticclaret  @Tyrone Shoelaces @roverandout  You have all suffered close family losses and it does takes time to grieve and move on.  A few years ago, in the space of just a few short weeks, I suffered three close family losses including my mother whose passing I learnt of whilst at one of the other two funerals.  You find an inner resolve that will possibly surprise even yourselves and with the help of spouses and children, you will be surprised how relatively quickly that glimmer of light, at the end of the tunnel, becomes brighter.  

Thanks merce. It's a horrible time to go through losing your loved ones.  Hope u have better days ahead 

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