It's known as the Dead Cat Splat on our board

'Ow do Rovers, thought I'd check in. I can't be bothered to expand on how chaotically bad we've been this season (and for the last eight years) for all manner of reasons. But we're garbage. Robins has had little to no impact, particularly on results. Much of our fanbase is resigned to relegation - I think we should do just enough to stay ahead of three others but I wouldn't be at all surprised if we went into our last match against Derby needing something. The one caveat is that we actually looked much better in our last game against Coventry, despite losing at the death. A few players played really well, Gallagher included, and for the first time maybe this whole season we dominated the midfield for decent periods of the game. Could be a corner turned - but more likely it's a false dawn that bodes for a typically wretched home performance in front of an ill-tempered crowd and you'll amble to a routine 2-0 win. We shall see. It seems you all expect us to win, we all expect you to win. Split the difference and call it a draw maybe.

Cracking young player. We were somewhat worried Spurs might want him back in Jan given their injury crisis. He has quite an old-school habit of “getting rid” which I think probably put Ange off

He’s actually looked just the ticket when he’s got on the pitch. But he’s never fit. Stupid signing

Gallagher….. name rings a bell, other than that I couldn’t really tell you

Forgive me this one Rovers… pick that fucker out https://x.com/GoalsXtra/status/1890806994505806202

We're massively lightweight in midfield so might just be a case of adding a warm body. I’m not against it but I am surprised, thought we’d seen the last of him

We can send you Moran by way of compensation if you like? Then we’re all back to square one

Tidy player with an eye for goal but lightweight. Part of a midfield that’s getting consistently overrun. Not all his fault, he needs a beast or two alongside him, which we don’t have.

He’s looked a sight more imposing and powerful than the rest of our powder-puff attack when we’ve seen him - which is hardly ever because he’s always injured. Our fans are hanging their hopes on him but my general opinion is that he’s a chronic crock that we shouldn’t have gone anywhere near.

Walters didn’t really like Schuey from the off. SS objected to some of Walters’ signings and when things started to go south Walters flexed. I’m at the stage where I really don’t care who comes in next. I don’t believe anything will change. We ruin people’s careers so I’d actually hate it to be someone likeable and on an upward trajectory (eg Eustace). Just someone experienced who can keep us up will have to do for now.

He is (was) very well-liked at Stoke for what he did for us in the Prem. Made the most of limited talent, worked hard and scored some great, memorable goals in big games. Aside from that his qualifications appear to amount to gobbing off on Twitter about the state of affairs at the club. I know about his history with you lot and while it’s probably a bit unfair to linger on a mistake someone made as a teenager, I must admit it’s always slightly in the back of my mind when I think about his character.

I honestly can’t believe he’s apparently survived this. We appointed him out of desperation towards the end of last season as a sort of temporary cheerleader and somehow he blagged our impressionable idiot chairman into handing him the reins to the club permanently, despite having precisely zero experience in managing, coaching, HR, scouting or recruitment. He then made a massive call in sacking a reasonably popular manager who was performing ok to install a coach from Norwich nobody had heard of - and when this went predictably catastrophically wrong, he’s somehow *still* being entrusted to find and line-manage our next soon-to-be failed head coach. It’s unbelievable and just another symptom of the incompetent culture of shit John Coates has presided over.

Thought I might pop on to add some insider wisdom about the situation at Stoke but it’s pretty much all been said in the last ten or so posts. You’re all exactly right. Talk about making a sow's ear out of a silk purse

4-0 Stoke. Phillips, Moran, Ennis and Gally (shock sub appearance in wheelchair) with the goals. 😉👻