[Archived] Squirrels

[Alan75]

Anyway, there are no reds round Blackburn- they are all nasty greys.

Are you allowed to say that.

[bob fleming]

Just bring in something thas higher up the food chain!

351836[/snapback]

Exactly right Andy. The answer to your / my problem is right in front of us MCMXCM1875.43. It's a well known fact, on certain parts of the internet (no link), that the one natural opponent to the grey squirrel rat is, as luck would have it, the common BT / Fernhurst Farm dwelling Duck.

So, all we need to do now is smoke the Ducks out of the BT boxes up there. These vicious killing machines will in turn see off the grey squirrel rats by jumping on their tales. Which in turn will mean:

1. The return of the cute red squirrel (see above: Ahhh!). Hurrah!!

2. No more holes in everyones lawn. Hurrah!!

3. Broadband for all. Hurrah!!

4. More food for birds and that as the squirels will no longer be eating it. Hurrah!!

5. Killer BT Fighting Ducks on the rampage. Booo!!

If that doesn't work MCM just buy a flamethrower from that new carpet place on Bolton Road (they have them under the counter).

[thenodrog]

4. More food for birds and that as the squirels will no longer be eating it. Hurrah!!

351886[/snapback]

It's not just the bird's food that the squirrels eat.......it's the bloody birds themselves! Robbing eggs and fledglings from nests is fair game to the grey tree rat.

[Billy Castell]

Well that must surely prove that ducks are harder than geese and swans...........

Edited October 7, 2005 by Billy Castell

[den]

I still like Squirels. Grey and red ones. I've always liked them. They're really nice.

[Al]

Squirrels, red or grey, are very intelligent, fascinating to watch and a whole lot cuter than any of you lot.

Leave the poor little sods alone or better still leave some peanuts for them to eat.

I'll have Bill Oddie on to you shower if your not careful.

[SIMON GARNERS 194]

CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!!!!

Didn't a few of those feature in the film Alien?

[bob fleming]

It's not just the bird's food that the squirrels eat.......it's the bloody birds themselves!  Robbing eggs and fledglings from nests is fair game to the grey tree rat.

351894[/snapback]

I didn't know that Theno. That's it then, I'll show 'em, I'm going to leather one after I've had several cans of wife beater tonight, that's if they're hard enough to show themselves in the dark, which I bet they're not.

Al - fetch Oddie round tonight and he'll get the same.

[MCMC1875]

I didn't know that Theno. That's it then, I'll show 'em, I'm going to leather one after I've had several cans of wife beater tonight, that's if they're hard enough to show themselves in the dark, which I bet they're not.

Al - fetch Oddie round tonight and he'll get the same.

351913[/snapback]

Just watch out for them nocturnal Killer BT fighting ducks Bob.

Edited October 7, 2005 by MCMC1875

[MCMC1875]

Apparently they're really nice to eat, especially the younger ones, but you'll need two or three to make a decent sized pie. It's a bit like rabbit I'm told.

351690[/snapback]

I'll pass this on to Derek Leaver - could be the answer to all our problems.

[Flopsy]

RAF Brampton has a school/horde/hoodie group of black squirrels who by all acounts act suspicously like a secret army of ninja's. MAybe its a government plot to keep the hard working garden lovers in their place

[LDRover]

Blimey, that'd be a right tear up if we drop the geese and swans in with the squirrels and ducks.

[dave birch]

RAF Brampton has a school/horde/hoodie group of black squirrels who by all acounts act suspicously like a secret army of ninja's. MAybe its a government plot to keep the hard working garden lovers in their place

351924[/snapback]

It's an RAF conspiracy.....

Is this a way to blame Tom (who has been absent for sometime) for this blight of squirrels?

[Flopsy]

Toms currently learning how to load aircraft so that the beer doesnt get broken in transit.

Although I wouldnt put the squirrel conspiracy past him as a revenge for us taking the ###### out of Tamworth (or his hair) for so long

i dont think that its a coincidence that one of the helicopter hes been training on is called a Squirrel

[Alan75]

Squirrels, red or grey, are very intelligent,

351901[/snapback]

Not the ones that play chicken on Bolton Road.

[Al]

It's not just the bird's food that the squirrels eat.......it's the bloody birds themselves!  Robbing eggs and fledglings from nests is fair game to the grey tree rat.

351894[/snapback]

I'd much rather have the cute squirrels around than the birds crapping all over my newly polished car, not to mention my head.

Oddie's gonna get you!

[Alan75]

HOW TO STUFF A SQUIRREL.

[cletus]

Den....I still like Squirels. Grey and red ones. I've always liked them. They're really nice

I agree with Den.

They`re fluffy & cute

awww shucks !!!

I also like ducks, they`re just soooo cute!...what with their friendly bills & sexy wiggles

Infact i once saw some kids throwing stones at a family of ducks along the canal, so i threw one of the little f#####s in!

[MCMC1875]

I'd much rather have the cute squirrels around than the birds crapping all over my newly polished car, not to mention my head.

Oddie's gonna get you!

351949[/snapback]

Stay on topic Al.....you can put yer jalopy in a garage, but we're talking about lush green sward here.

[colin]

but we're talking about lush green sward here.

352078[/snapback]

So why have these squirrels suddenly decided to become upside-down moles? Maybe get some moles and unsettle the squirrels?

Or just catch them, shave their tails and get the rat man in.

[bob fleming]

Just spent the last 6 hours in casualty. They're harder than they look those squirrels. Especially in the dark. I reckon there was a gang of 'em, all tooled up and everything. They also tried to confuse me a lot of the time by going "quack". Very clever Mr Squirrel, very clever indeed.

Scum.

[Al]

Just spent the last 6 hours in casualty. They're harder than they look those squirrels. Especially in the dark. I reckon there was a gang of 'em, all tooled up and everything. They also tried to confuse me a lot of the time by going "quack". Very clever Mr Squirrel, very clever indeed.

Scum.

352097[/snapback]

Serves you right. I told you they were intelligent. They know the enemy when they see it. Just wait till Oddie really gets them organised.

Remember Hitchcock's 'The birds'? They have nothing on the squirrels when roused!

[Dan Furness]

Just spent the last 6 hours in casualty. They're harder than they look those squirrels. Especially in the dark. I reckon there was a gang of 'em, all tooled up and everything. They also tried to confuse me a lot of the time by going "quack". Very clever Mr Squirrel, very clever indeed.

Scum.

352097[/snapback]

Your bloody tapped you

[ABBEY]

this threads nuts

[whittle blue]

this threads nuts

352119[/snapback]

Stay on the,ahem, "Topic" please Abbey.