You’ve lost that loving feeling?

[Proudtobeblue&white]

I'm 60 this year (no pity). A mate of mine at Clitheroe Grammar introduced me to Rovers late 70's. My head had been turned by the glamour clubs in the late 60's, As someone who played for Langho COE junior school since the age of four, I've lived football. The thrill of going to the old BE will stay with me forever. He did me the biggest favour. I got the train/bus, on my own, felt like a grown up. My dad wasn't into football. It was the community, Garner a legend, Faz etc. I never felt better, win, lose, draw, passion! I couldn't wait for the next match. Loved away trips, a grand day out.

Remember trapping up at eight in the morning in Ribchester, when you could load crates on the coach, and have a few beers on the way.

 It stayed with me, through the FM Cup, play off v Leicester, Anfield, Cardiff. All of which I was at.

Glory years. I have, since the Loons, largely stayed away. My youngest, at 22, loves going. Even he went back to his mums at half-time against Rotherham. I switched over to the rugby after 3.-0. This is where we are at after 12-years of mismanagement. I had a small amount of optimism after JDT, and been to a few home games this season. Best bit is the pub quiz at the Black Bull at Tochholes before the game. Now, I'm back to complete apathy.

[R0verb0y]

9 hours ago, R0verb0y said:

Oh; and my stand on Match of the Day is that I won't watch if Danny Murphy's one of the ex-players (he might as well have been one of them when we used to pay him!) pontificating!

And, fwiw, when the pundits are Danny Murphy and Paul Ince, then it's time to go into the kitchen and do the washing-up!!😉

[bazza]

I'm 79 years old, turning 80 this year. Blackburn Rovers have been the love of my life for the past 70 years. But lately I feel that the club doesn't love me any more. I'm a fan and the club doesn't love the fans. I feel rejected and no longer part of the union. There was a time back in the 70s when I would have taken a paint brush and pot of blue paint to help spruce up the ground free of charge.

I haven't been to Ewood since before the Burnley away game but that has been for several reasons. I think a divorce is coming soon. I know there has been a partial separation so far.

But it's not just Rovers. The stupid changing of the laws of the game, the pass, pass, pass and no dribble or no freedom to play inventive football has all contributed to the malaise.

I'll probably go again to Ewood at some point but I'll be prepared to sit and watch paint dry.  I hate our owners for what they've done and for what they continue to do.

[Leonard Venkhater]

13 minutes ago, bazza said:

I'm 79 years old, turning 80 this year. Blackburn Rovers have been the love of my life for the past 70 years. But lately I feel that the club doesn't love me any more. I'm a fan and the club doesn't love the fans. I feel rejected and no longer part of the union. There was a time back in the 70s when I would have taken a paint brush and pot of blue paint to help spruce up the ground free of charge.

I haven't been to Ewood since before the Burnley away game but that has been for several reasons. I think a divorce is coming soon. I know there has been a partial separation so far.

But it's not just Rovers. The stupid changing of the laws of the game, the pass, pass, pass and no dribble or no freedom to play inventive football has all contributed to the malaise.

I'll probably go again to Ewood at some point but I'll be prepared to sit and watch paint dry.  I hate our owners for what they've done and for what they continue to do.

Awful to read this and it resonates with my own feelings of loss.

If the owners are not even going to try to get success, too many supporters will conclude that there is no point in Blackburn Rovers, as a football club anymore.

If the function of their ownership is merely to show a "financially credible"way of losing money, we would have seen a long line of sub standard appointments to key posts. And, indeed, we have.

How long can we be strung along and...well... gaslit?

[Oldgregg86]

8 hours ago, bluebruce said:

Wait, you're not old? I bet you don't even drink Bailey's from a shoe, do you? My illusions are shattered.

I feel old and if I had to drink baileys it would be from a shoe in the hope it improved the taste 😂

ps I don’t do water colours but I have been to a club we’re people wee on each other 😂

( if you haven’t seen the mighty boost non of that will make sense, I haven’t just had a mental breakdown 😂)

[oneandycrawford]

On 16/01/2023 at 09:21, Devon Rover said:

Good post, Tom. I've been reflecting on this recently, too.

I still love Rovers but, for me, the hope of things getting better is fading every month/transfer window/season and the genuine pain I'm feeling about aspects of what the club has become is, all at once, making me feel a bit numb and constantly worried about what will come next.

Before I say this, I'd like to make clear that I obviously have no intention of trivialising something that may well trigger for someone, so no offence, or upset, is meant here; but it currently feels to me like I'm in an abusive relationship. Something that I can't stop loving is hurting me and I'm not sure when/how it will stop. Can I "just walk away", as some people ask of that kind of situation? No, I don't think I can. I have too much invested, emotionally. But this relationship isn't doing me any good, at all.

The equivalent for me of your ST situations, Tom, is that, for the first time in years I'm not making the relatively short journey to Bristol next weekend to watch the away game at City. I just don't need to feel bad on what is my daughter's birthday. I can do better than that, for her, than to potentially or probably let my club upset me.

I probably take the whole thing far too seriously, of course, but, well, you know....

Here's to a potentially positive boost to this relationship if some sensible decisions are made in what is left of this transfer window. But my expectations are getting lower.

Similar for me over in Pembrokeshire. Enjoyed Swansea earlier in season, couldn't make Cardiff and had Bristol in my plans. Weather forecast good and going for a walk with my better half now feels like the right option. Started watching in the mid-70's so it's not the fact we're in the Championship and struggling - it's the feeling that the people at the club don't care. In the mid-70's to late 80's even if some of the decisions made weren't great you always knew (or at least believed) that people cared and were trying there best for the club. Same when John Williams was running things. That's the difference now. Not sure I'll even be able to bring myself to do the 10-hour round trip for the Burnley game - and that would be the first home game against them I'll miss since I started watching in 74.

[Cuppliance]

12 hours ago, Oldgregg86 said:

I feel old and if I had to drink baileys it would be from a shoe in the hope it improved the taste 😂

ps I don’t do water colours but I have been to a club we’re people wee on each other 😂

( if you haven’t seen the mighty boost non of that will make sense, I haven’t just had a mental breakdown 😂)

I got all the references. Although, I must add that I have always preferred The Hitcher. I've dressed up as him at Halloween a couple of times. (Would never put on the tutu for your character though)

[Rover_in_the_South]

Slightly different for me because I'm not local so only every get to a handful of games both home and away. 

I first knew I was losing interest when things weren't bothering me as much and I realised that despite the downfall since Venky's took the reigns (or didn't), we as fans collectively couldn't do anything to make them budge. 

The last time I felt a slight bit of optimism was in the summer when we got the anticipated new manager bounce, but we knew this was only papering over the cracks. 

Two occasions already this season I didn't realise we were even playing - never happened before! I have decided to put the money I would usually use to go to the footy towards other more enjoyable things now. 

 

 

[lraC]

Someone has mentioned that they think the likes of Waggott and Rao read these pages. Just in case they don't can anyone who has access to either one of those people or preferably both of them, print every page of this topic and make sure they do read them.

Some real heartfelt posts on here and shows what the club did mean to people, before they (more Rao than Waggott) got their filthy hands on it.

[Miller11]

I had a spell under Bowyer where I just walked away from it all. Barely paid attention to the results on a Saturday, I wasn’t enjoying games and felt totally detached. The only emotion was sadness at what Rovers had become and it was contributing to the difficult times I was having with my mental health. At that point it was fairly easy to switch off from everything, I walked out at half time one game and gave my season ticket to my Dad.

I got interested again when I got angry again. The Lambert/Coyle fiasco did it. It reignited the passion, in a different way though. I’ve enjoyed very little about Rovers over the last 12 years, but I still care and desperately want things to get better, to get that enjoyment back.

The other big factor for me is my nephew. I always go to games with my brother, and his son who is nearly 6 is absolutely football mad. He knows every fixture and result, will watch any game that’s on, and always wants to be playing. His Mum’s side are all big Burnley fans and season ticket holders. Amazingly he hasn’t sacked it off and decided to support City, he will tell you he supports Rovers and Burnley, and he does. He became quite famous amongst the staff at the National Football museum for this stance when I took him on a trip there.

My brother and our side of the family have it much tougher. Burnley are an undeniably better team and have been since he was born. They also spanked us 3-0 in the first Derby he witnessed. His Christmas list was made up of a Rovers kit, a Burnley kit, and premier league cards… luckily my brother did his shopping early. He’s attended fairly regularly at both Ewood and Turf moor since last Christmas but this season has been asking if he could go to an away game. His first one was Burnley’s league cup game at Old Trafford. Obviously we couldn’t compete with going to a ground like that, but we thought Rotherham would be a good day out and a good chance for 3 points…

He’s still convinced we will finish second (to Burnley, obviously). I’ve tried to temper his expectations a bit, but he’s just excited about the prospect of a trip to Wembley and a win in the playoffs. I really hope we can keep him interested once the optimism of youth wears off a bit. We’ll be up against it again next year with them back in the Premier League.

The reversal of fortunes of the two clubs would’ve been unthinkable prior to Venky’s. That anger that brought me back still burns, and I’ve told Steve Waggott on several occasions that the angry ones are the people they need to attempt to re-engage with - they still care. If the anger gives way to apathy it’s a tough road back.

[Miller11]

1 minute ago, lraC said:

Someone has mentioned that they think the likes of Waggott and Rao read these pages. Just in case they don't can anyone who has access to either one of those people or preferably both of them, print every page of this topic and make sure they do read them.

Some real heartfelt posts on here and shows what the club did mean to people, before they (more Rao than Waggott) got their filthy hands on it.

The Rovers Trust have a meeting with Waggott and members of the marketing team in the next few weeks. I’m on it.

[lraC]

1 minute ago, Miller11 said:

The Rovers Trust have a meeting with Waggott and members of the marketing team in the next few weeks. I’m on it.

Cheers Duncan

[broadsword]

1 hour ago, Miller11 said:

 

The reversal of fortunes of the two clubs would’ve been unthinkable prior to Venky’s

It's unbelievable what these pricks have managed to achieve in a decade or so.

But it's their baby.

[den]

From being a mid table PL club trying to push on, to a Championship club with no ambition other than develop a few academy lads.

Seriously, when was the last time ANYONE at the club, did anything but talk the chances of challenging for anything…. Down?

If fans don’t have any hope for achieving anything, what hope is there they’ll hang around?

Edited January 18, 2023 by den

[Mattyblue]

Don’t you know developing said academy lads is going to re-establish ourselves as a PL club, somehow…

[den]

Incidentally, there’s an almost exact same thread on PNE online called that’s me done.

Edited January 18, 2023 by den

[bluebruce]

Hmm...I probably have mostly lost that loving feeling, but I haven't lost the love itself.

Rovers have kinda become like a wife I've been married for as long as I can remember (I'm single, it's just an analogy). I still love her, nobody means more to me, but for the most part I've lost the excitement I used to have when she walked in the room. She doesn't put out much anymore, and when she does it's nice but I know we'll soon be returning to unfulfilling domestic boredom (with the occasional blazing row), so it doesn't feel as great as it once did.

The dishes are rarely done and the place has become a mess. She's let herself go and we're both depressed. We never have any money either. We have plenty of kids, but they abandon us for the wider world when we can't pay the going rate for chores and never send money back home. We even paid a lot of money to adopt from Chile, but 5 years on they're flying the nest too. I'm sad about what we and the house have become, but I feel powerless to do anything about it and the truth is I've become distracted by my own life outside of it all. I'd never leave her, I can't imagine myself being with anyone else even if she died (well, I have the occasional dalliance with a woman called England, but she's always known about that and never minded..maybe because England disappoints me nearly as much).

I'll always love her, and never love another unless England steps up her game (even then it wouldn't mean as much as '95 did), but that gut-churning, pulse-pounding spark is gone. Maybe not forever, maybe we need intervention, counselling or something, but for a while now it hasn't been what it used to be.

[Dolly blue]

I really get Bazza and Leonard Venkhater …I too feel the same way …

My “ marriage “ with BRFC began to hit the rocks as Venkys hit town . 
I didn’t want diamond rings, fancy meals out , the promise of  grand holidays..I just wanted to feel valued, a part of the marriage ..then “ Steve “ came along and , as Diana once said “ There were 3 of us in this marriage “…and only I wanted it to work …he bailed out and “ other strange men “ followed….even more strange men …and I am led to believe a strange woman too!……………..

Friends advised me to “ do something “ ..so I fought for my marriage …I marched, I wrote to Jack Straw , I rang 5 Live , talk sport , Radio Lancashire …and I even challenged one of the  “ strange men ,  Shebby “ face to face at King George’s Hall …more empty crap came from his mouth ..

By now I’m needing counselling…but  I couldn’t leave the place I had called home for 50 years …it was now looking tired but it was home to me …until Covid broke my fruitless affair …I couldn’t visit my home …then I had a season affair with another called Stanley at The Wham….it was ok and I was treated well but…..I could never forget my first love …today I mourn for the club I once loved …..they say time heals …it doesn’t . I still see it on TV…..and what a bloody mess it looks …ah well, as they say ….you get what you pay for …and we’re  paying for it 🥲

 

Edited January 18, 2023 by Dolly blue

[bluebruce]

20 minutes ago, Dolly blue said:

I really get Bazza and Leonard Venkhater …I too feel the same way …

My “ marriage “ with BRFC began to hit the rocks as Venkys hit town . 
I didn’t want diamond rings, fancy meals out , the promise of  grand holidays..I just wanted to feel valued, a part of the marriage ..then “ Steve “ came along and , as Diana once said “ There were 3 of us in this marriage “…and only I wanted it to work …he bailed out and “ other strange men “ followed….even more strange men …and I am led to believe a strange woman too!……………..

Friends advised me to “ do something “ ..so I fought for my marriage …I marched, I wrote to Jack Straw , I rang 5 Live , talk sport , Radio Lancashire …and I even challenged one of the  “ strange men ,  Shebby “ face to face at King George’s Hall …more empty crap came from his mouth ..

By now I’m needing counselling…but  I couldn’t leave the place I had called home for 50 years …it was now looking tired but it was home to me …until Covid broke my fruitless affair …I couldn’t visit my home …then I had a season affair with another called Stanley at The Wham….it was ok and I was treated well but…..I could never forget my first love …today I mourn for the club I once loved …..they say time heals …it doesn’t . I still see it on TV…..and what a bloody mess it looks …ah well, as they say ….you get what you pay for …and we’re  paying for it 🥲

 

Hah, I didn't realise the marriage analogy had been touched on already until I started reading this post (I assume we were both writing ours at about the same time too).

[scotchrover]

For me, the football has been dire. Whilst I’m a season ticket holder, I’ve missed several games this season. JDT’s brand is dire to watch.

 

The other big thing for me is knowing that the clubs that come down, are almost automatically guaranteed a return to the top flight, with the TV money they’ve received for finishing in the bottom 3. They can retain a top flight team without any financial worries. Fulham are a prime example of this, last season. You only have to look at the current top 6 Championship sides to realise this too. 

… and if by some minor miracle we defy the odds and go back up, how much would be needed to remain there? £200 million? 

[bluebruce]

19 minutes ago, scotchrover said:

The other big thing for me is knowing that the clubs that come down, are almost automatically guaranteed a return to the top flight, with the TV money they’ve received for finishing in the bottom 3.

They're not though. It certainly gives them a strong competitive advantage, but numerous teams have come down with parachute money and are still here. We did it, and if you look through the league it's full of sides who have been in the Prem since then. Huddersfield, Stoke, Sheff United, Boro, West Brom, QPR, Swansea, Cardiff, Hull....

Looking at last season's promoted sides, Forest went up but they had been back down for a while, Bournemouth took two seasons to return. Fulham were the only side promoted who had just been relegated. West Brom who had just been relegated finished 2 places below us, lowly Luton beat them to the playoffs, and the only reason we didn't beat them to the playoffs too was because of our pathetic second half of the season capitulation where even midtable form would have seen us finish top 6.

It helps, a lot, but the lack of TV money isn't an absolute limit on promotion by any stretch.

[Mashed Potatoes]

1 minute ago, bluebruce said:

They're not though. It certainly gives them a strong competitive advantage, but numerous teams have come down with parachute money and are still here. We did it, and if you look through the league it's full of sides who have been in the Prem since then. Huddersfield, Stoke, Sheff United, Boro, West Brom, QPR, Swansea, Cardiff, Hull....

Looking at last season's promoted sides, Forest went up but they had been back down for a while, Bournemouth took two seasons to return. Fulham were the only side promoted who had just been relegated. West Brom who had just been relegated finished 2 places below us, lowly Luton beat them to the playoffs, and the only reason we didn't beat them to the playoffs too was because of our pathetic second half of the season capitulation where even midtable form would have seen us finish top 6.

It helps, a lot, but the lack of TV money isn't an absolute limit on promotion by any stretch.

Parachute payment clubs have taken 2 of the 3 promotion places in each of the last 4 seasons, including both the top 2 automatic places in the last 2 seasons, usually from 5 or 6 such clubs in the division leaving one spot for the 18/19 clubs without parachute payments. This season it looks highly likely that the 2 automatic places will once again go to parachute payment clubs. The truth is that they represent a significant competitive advantage.

[jim mk2]

2 minutes ago, Mashed Potatoes said:

Parachute payment clubs have taken 2 of the 3 promotion places in each of the last 4 seasons, including both the top 2 automatic places in the last 2 seasons, usually from 5 or 6 such clubs in the division leaving one spot for the 18/19 clubs without parachute payments. This season it looks highly likely that the 2 automatic places will once again go to parachute payment clubs. The truth is that they represent a significant competitive advantage.

Yes it does - a huge advantage

Rovers are of course among the exceptions

In our first season down we finished 17th IIRC, and have rarely threatened to make the play-offs since, never mind  win promotion

At this point you are permitted to criticise the club

[Mashed Potatoes]

2 minutes ago, jim mk2 said:

Yes it does - a huge advantage

Rovers are of course among the exceptions

In our first season down we finished 17th IIRC, and have rarely threatened to make the play-offs since, never mind  win promotion

At this point you are permitted to criticise the club

I suspect you were criticising the club on 14 May 1995.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Just now, Mashed Potatoes said:

I suspect you were criticising the club on 14 May 1995.

Of course, the minute you think you’ve cracked it is the minute you start going backwards. We needed a better winger than Wilcox and a better centre half than Pearce. We didn’t get them.