Geese or swans?

[LDRover]

It's always been something that I've wondered.

For what it's worth I think geese get a bad press. I know they can be a bit naughty and sometimes 'have a go' at unsuspecting passers by but lets be fair, they mean no harm.

They're pretty game as well. They'll think nothing of having a go at a human, this contrasts sharply with the common swan. I saw one the other day bullying a load of ducks just to get some food on the ship canal. You'd never catch one having a go at a medium sized bloke though.

I reckon a goose would take a swan...nae bother.

[Alan75]

I would'nt recommend going near a swans nest.

There's a bird sanctuary near me, the canada geese make a wide berth of any swan nests or "swan parent /toddler groups"

I've also seen swans see off dogs that have ventured to close to the chicks.

Personally I think hens are the biggest chickens, and if they trip up they claim fowl.

As for them Ruddy Ducks, I believe the Mallard is the fastest, really steams along.

[daviemac]

Don't forget the 'chestnut' classic of.........................

"A swan can break your arm y'know!"

 

[Clive]

Geese are like David Batty, small, tenacious and bad tempered, but swans are more like Tiny Taylor by comparasion-tall gangly and not so aggressive.

[Nuclearsox]

Personally I think hens are the biggest chickens, and if they trip up they claim fowl.

As for them Ruddy Ducks, I believe the Mallard is the fastest, really steams along.

If we're doing bad jokes, I'm not going to be left out:-

If you ever see a duck and a swan in a race, the swan invariably wins by a neck.

[thenodrog]

I've a goose and a gander and they are both right fierce @#/?s that will have a do at anything or anybody that goes on their territory ....except me that is but I have to attack and terrorise them every so often to keep ahead in the 'pecking order'.  

Got to say aggression is their only weapon.  8lb weight, a blunt beak and webbed feet is hardly a killing machine is it?  But its really amazing how many people are shitscared of em.

[Clive]

Got to say aggression is their only weapon.  8lb weight, a blunt beak and webbed feet is hardly a killing machine is it?  But its really amazing how many people are shitscared of em.

Could be worse, you could meet an ancestor.

[Rachrover]

I used to go to school with someone who kept geese, they did the job of a guard dog, and saw off any unwanted visitors!!! They were pretty vicious

Then again there is the age old tale that a swan can break you arm, but I've never heard of anyone who this has happened to, so I think a goose would win!!

[Alan75]

It's true.

The Guardian > Swans Breaks Arm

[bob fleming]

That's a great question LD Rover.

I've never had a run in with any swans but when I was a lad I did get chased by a bunch of dead hard geese. I foolishly strayed onto their patch by mistake and before I knew what was happening four or five of the rascals took offence and started running at me, tooled up with feathers and stuff. Well even then I wasn't one for running and stood my ground. Sod that for a game of soldiers - beaks everywhere - and there stupid wings going ten to the dozen. I legged it before any of the blighters broke my arms, 'cos they're like that as well. I'm not joking it really was really quite frightening.

So if you ask me, and I know we can't prove any of this, I'd have to say swans.

[Tom Pringle]

Maybe we could all chip in and have a BRFCS.com sponsored death match? 10 geese vs. 10 swans. Would be amazing to watch them fight it out for the glory of the golden egg.

A question that has puzzled me (And a fellow message board member) - Who would win out of a tiger and a shark? How would the fight take place?

[broadsword]

Anyone remember teh film "The Wild Geese" with Sir Roger Moore?

He's in top eyebrow-raising form in that one, I can tell you!

[Nuclearsox]

A question that has puzzled me (And a fellow message board member) - Who would win out of a tiger and a shark? How would the fight take place?

Ah, well now, that would depend on the type of shark.

There's your basking shark who won't get into a fight - he just sits around all day sunning himself.

There's your Angel shark - goody goodies the lot of 'em.

Hammerhead - Can hurt your thumb if you're not careful.

Megamouth shark - all talk.

Goblin shark - nasty ugly ones these. I'd fancy these against the tiger.

Tiger shark of course - that would be a great match.

Threshers - they sell the alcohol at the fight.

[bob fleming]

I'm up for that Tom - I know some would call it cruel but to be honest I have little time for either of the white feathered scum. I think we'd have to buy some different coloured vests or something though so we knew who was winning. Maybe we could use The Blues Bar? I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

As for the tiger / shark thing. It's a tough one. Obviously you've got the problem of the shark not being right good in the jungle and the tiger being pretty poor in deep water. I'd be tempted to go with the shark though because of it's cool fin and big fists.

[Tom Pringle]

I'm up for that Tom - I know some would call it cruel but to be honest I have little time for either of the white feathered scum. I think we'd have to buy some different coloured vests or something though so we knew who was winning. Maybe we could use The Blues Bar? I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

As for the tiger / shark thing. It's a tough one. Obviously you've got the problem of the shark not being right good in the jungle and the tiger being pretty poor in deep water. I'd be tempted to go with the shark though because of it's cool fin and big fists.

Sharkey from the legendary cartoon Sharkey and George was a tough cookie. Where as Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes is a bit of a wuss. So you're probably right about the shark.

As for the arena death match, we need a big round arena for the venus so there's no corners and no escape. Maybe that big thing in rome will do?

[modes98]

erm well i have never really thought in depth about this particular question before but in my opinion the swan would win. The goose talks tough but can't back up his allogations, whereas the swan has the mouth and the agility to back him up!  

[Alan75]

Maybe we could all chip in and have a BRFCS.com sponsored death match? 10 geese vs. 10 swans. Would be amazing to watch them fight it out for the glory of the golden egg.

Would it be a feather weight fight ?

Couldnt be bantam weight could it.

[LDRover]

What I always go back to is the attitude. Geese will have a go at anyone/anything regardless and they have my utmost respect for that.

Swans as I said earlier are just mob handed bullies as I experienced in the duck episode.

I'd love to get this fight on but it'd have to be one on one cos the cowardly yellow bellied swan needs his mates to back him up at all times.

I've not a lot of time for swans but ducks I like.

A mate was telling me today (lives near canal at Fenny) that he heard a tapping on his back door (house door!)  and opened it to see a duck. Duck walked in his kitchen, shat on the floor and walked out again bold as brass. True story that.

Quality birds those ducks.

[percy]

I know they can be a bit naughty and sometimes 'have a go' at unsuspecting passers by but lets be fair, they mean no harm.

Geese everytime.

Always looking for a rumble when out in public and guaranteed to try and start a barney with any unsuspecting, innocent bystander within range.  Complete nutjobs who have no regard for their own safety, making them fearless and relentless in their attacks.  Usually don't give up once they've kicked off and will happily give chase waving broken bottles or knives.

Nothing to do with the fact that I was the victim of a malicious and unprovoked attack as a 6 year old on holiday near a farm once.  Still wake up in tears with the sound of angry honks now and again -  when will it stop ?

Nothing against swans, mind, but I'd wager on the Geese everytime; be warned they're serious headcases y'know !

Sharks vs Tigers ?  Sharks would win.  Why ?  Could you imagine Tony the Tiger surviving in any of the Jaws films?

Me, neither (and, yes, I have taken Tony's impeccable extreme sports-related skills into consideration).

[percy]

What I always go back to is the attitude. Geese will have a go at anyone/anything regardless and they have my utmost respect for that.

Amen to that, brother !

[raz0r72]

LD ROVER u were talking about that lad in Fenny and the duck that shat on his kitchen floor, well he's also my mate and he doesnt have much luck when it comes to things using his house as a public lavatory. A few years ago i stayed at his house after a night in town, slept in his spare room woke up to realise i'd wet my self in his bed, i have to say i didnt hang around, i just strategically placed his cat beside the wet patch and left. By the way as i was leaving i noticed a gaggle of geese across from The Hordens. "Morning Geese" i said to which they cackled back at me-GEESE-respect-SWANS-no time for

[jim mk2]

LD ROVER u were talking about that lad in Fenny and the duck that shat on his kitchen floor, well he's also my mate and he doesnt have much luck when it comes to things using his house as a public lavatory. A few years ago i stayed at his house after a night in town, slept in his spare room woke up to realise i'd wet my self in his bed, i have to say i didnt hang around, i just strategically placed his cat beside the wet patch and left. By the way as i was leaving i noticed a gaggle of geese across from The Hordens. "Morning Geese" i said to which they cackled back at me-GEESE-respect-SWANS-no time for

Good grief.

[Ozz]

Have you ever seen The Swann With Two Necks?

[Clive]

A mate was telling me today (lives near canal at Fenny) that he heard a tapping on his back door (house door!)  and opened it to see a duck. Duck walked in his kitchen, shat on the floor and walked out again bold as brass. True story that.

Quality birds those ducks.

Sounds like a Badly Drawn Boy Video.

[LDRover]

LD ROVER u were talking about that lad in Fenny and the duck that shat on his kitchen floor, well he's also my mate and he doesnt have much luck when it comes to things using his house as a public lavatory. A few years ago i stayed at his house after a night in town, slept in his spare room woke up to realise i'd wet my self in his bed, i have to say i didnt hang around, i just strategically placed his cat beside the wet patch and left. By the way as i was leaving i noticed a gaggle of geese across from The Hordens. "Morning Geese" i said to which they cackled back at me-GEESE-respect-SWANS-no time for

We're talking different mates here pal but I'm so glad to hear that you wet his bed!!

Is that gaggle still there? They were an unruly bunch last time I saw them, truly intimidating.